A wonderful post by rm
On matters of passing
I identify strongly with elements of her experience, although the details are somewhat different than mine. But by and large, it's not hard for me to be accepted in mainstream society, or to pass in a variety of ways, either accidentally or by default, or sometimes by decision. And I think it's part of why I'm loud.
The following really particularly spoke to me:
"I am sick to fucking death of dyke or lesbian or man being a way to call women ugly. I am sick to death of bitch and girl and pussy to call down the spectre of cowardice on men. And I am sick unto fucking death of transfolk being treated as if they are somehow unreal, temporary of spirit or the last of the circus sideshow."
and this:
"My flesh was made for our little binary world more than most people's. But I wasn't. And I try not to hide behind what I have. But sometimes it is so unavoidable that all I can do is be a supporter in what is actually, also my own battle. Because it doesn't show. Because I could have more secrets than I do.
This is one of the more moving responses to what happened at Wiscon. I practically stood up and cheered at the office.
Call me a man. Call me a woman. I don't care. But you damn well better make it a compliment or at least mere observation. Because otherwise, you're wasting your breath. I'm not going to be anything other than what I am no matter what you say. And I'm not going to be quiet. And no matter who you target or why, I am not going to relax into this life of passing."
And gement pointed to a fucking fabulous response to a "why do all those freaks have to make us normal people look bad?" retread:
Any major shift in cultural paradigms is led by the people who have not only the most to gain from it, but the least to lose. "Loose women" suffragettes, "flaming" gays, and so on. All those "wing-nuts and wackanoodles"? You should be *thanking them*. If they hadn't blazed the trail, if they weren't pushing the boundaries of what was considered acceptable by the mainstream, your 'normal'/HWP/whatever ass would still be so far back in the Poly closet you'd see Narnia.
---A grateful 'normal' poly person.
I identify strongly with elements of her experience, although the details are somewhat different than mine. But by and large, it's not hard for me to be accepted in mainstream society, or to pass in a variety of ways, either accidentally or by default, or sometimes by decision. And I think it's part of why I'm loud.
The following really particularly spoke to me:
"I am sick to fucking death of dyke or lesbian or man being a way to call women ugly. I am sick to death of bitch and girl and pussy to call down the spectre of cowardice on men. And I am sick unto fucking death of transfolk being treated as if they are somehow unreal, temporary of spirit or the last of the circus sideshow."
and this:
"My flesh was made for our little binary world more than most people's. But I wasn't. And I try not to hide behind what I have. But sometimes it is so unavoidable that all I can do is be a supporter in what is actually, also my own battle. Because it doesn't show. Because I could have more secrets than I do.
This is one of the more moving responses to what happened at Wiscon. I practically stood up and cheered at the office.
Call me a man. Call me a woman. I don't care. But you damn well better make it a compliment or at least mere observation. Because otherwise, you're wasting your breath. I'm not going to be anything other than what I am no matter what you say. And I'm not going to be quiet. And no matter who you target or why, I am not going to relax into this life of passing."
And gement pointed to a fucking fabulous response to a "why do all those freaks have to make us normal people look bad?" retread:
Any major shift in cultural paradigms is led by the people who have not only the most to gain from it, but the least to lose. "Loose women" suffragettes, "flaming" gays, and so on. All those "wing-nuts and wackanoodles"? You should be *thanking them*. If they hadn't blazed the trail, if they weren't pushing the boundaries of what was considered acceptable by the mainstream, your 'normal'/HWP/whatever ass would still be so far back in the Poly closet you'd see Narnia.
---A grateful 'normal' poly person.