Everyday is Like Sunday, Everyday is Silent and Grey...
When I asked if I could spend the night at Laura's on Friday my mom said no. I asked why, because I was good and quite respectable all week. Apparently, because I came home with a hickey on my neck last Saturday, I cannot be trusted and I was OBVIOUSLY lying about what I did that weekend.
First of all, in my defense, I'm not a fan of hickeys. In the giving or recieving. The boy on the other hand....eh...
Second, I didn't lie to her about where I was going or who would be there with.
And third, I'm 18. I'm and adult. I'm not asexual. I don't create "little Monique's" through photosynthesis or anything. The human nature is inherently sexual, and I am in no way having sex anyway. She knows my views on sex and she knows that I would never do anything stupid.
Anyway, she was quite upset that my 11 year old sister saw it. Which I completely understand. The thing that really upsets me is that she said I would have to move out by the time I graduate because she doesn't want me bringing this stuff home.
That, to me, is ridiculous. Kicked out because of a hickey?! It makes no sense to me because I am NOT sexually active, I am in A.P. classes at school and my grades are always good. I listen around the house. I do my chores consistently, even today.
It all seems a bit disheartening to me that I did all that. What was the point of me being good and listening to them if I'd just be thrown out for something so stupid. It's not that I listened to them just to ensure food and shelter. I listened because I cared. I obeyed every rule they had, no matter how ludicrous I felt it was. And the thing that bothers me the most about it is that they have no clue. I don't vacuum the house everyday because I enjoy it, I do it because I care about how they feel about me. Another thing that frustrates me is that I STILL do care, despite the total lack of respect they have for me. To feel unappreciated is to feel unloved. And to feel unloved is to feel like one does not exist.
Love to all,
Monique
First of all, in my defense, I'm not a fan of hickeys. In the giving or recieving. The boy on the other hand....eh...
Second, I didn't lie to her about where I was going or who would be there with.
And third, I'm 18. I'm and adult. I'm not asexual. I don't create "little Monique's" through photosynthesis or anything. The human nature is inherently sexual, and I am in no way having sex anyway. She knows my views on sex and she knows that I would never do anything stupid.
Anyway, she was quite upset that my 11 year old sister saw it. Which I completely understand. The thing that really upsets me is that she said I would have to move out by the time I graduate because she doesn't want me bringing this stuff home.
That, to me, is ridiculous. Kicked out because of a hickey?! It makes no sense to me because I am NOT sexually active, I am in A.P. classes at school and my grades are always good. I listen around the house. I do my chores consistently, even today.
It all seems a bit disheartening to me that I did all that. What was the point of me being good and listening to them if I'd just be thrown out for something so stupid. It's not that I listened to them just to ensure food and shelter. I listened because I cared. I obeyed every rule they had, no matter how ludicrous I felt it was. And the thing that bothers me the most about it is that they have no clue. I don't vacuum the house everyday because I enjoy it, I do it because I care about how they feel about me. Another thing that frustrates me is that I STILL do care, despite the total lack of respect they have for me. To feel unappreciated is to feel unloved. And to feel unloved is to feel like one does not exist.
Love to all,
Monique