Hope & Pain (Chapter 3/?)
Title: Hope & Pain
Author: Me^.^
Pairing: Tegoshi/Masuda
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, romance
Summary: Tegoshi lived behind and armour, a smile that prevented him from getting enemies. But eventually, he would let someone inside, smiling genuinely at that special person.
Notes: English is my second language, mistakes will occur even though I try to not make them^^
Comments are love ^.^<333
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
*~*~*~*~*~*
”Hey, Tesshi!”
Tegoshi flinched and looked to his side, where he found a smiling Masuda. He smiled back. “What’s up?”
Masuda took the seat next to him. “You’ll come to the party tonight, right?”
Tegoshi tipped his head to the side, he hadn’t heard about a party. “What party?”
“With all the employees at the company, you didn’t know?”
Tegoshi’s gaze fell down on the table. “I didn’t get an invitation.”
Masuda nodded slowly, but then smiled at Tegoshi again. “You will come, right?”
Tegoshi smiled an awkward smile and giggled nervously. “I don’t think they want me there…”
Masuda made a grimace and punched him lightly in the arm. “Don’t care abut what they want, just come to have some fun.”
Tegoshi strongly doubted that attending a party with his work-mates would be anything close to fun, especially when he hadn’t even got an invitation. He wanted to avoid problem, but this would be like running into the enemies land without a weapon. “Seriously, I’m not sure about this…and you shouldn’t hang out with me if you want this place to be bearable. You will ruin your good reputation.”
Masuda punched him in the arm again. “I don’t care a shit about what they think about me, and it’s not like they’re powerful enough to ruin my career or something. They just want to hang out with me because I’m famous, but I don’t hang out with shit-bags. I prefer being with you.”
That line made Tegoshi smile, just because Masuda was brutally honest and above all stood up for him. He was the first one to do that, defending Tegoshi even though it meant going against the group. Masuda was different, and Tegoshi liked it. Masuda defended him, enjoyed being with him, and had even given him the nickname ‘Tesshi’. He had said that it suited Tegoshi because it sounded cute. Tegoshi had smiled when Masuda had said that, just because no one else had ever given him a nickname before. He liked it, it made him feel special in some way, and the ‘cute’-comment was something he didn’t say no to either..
Masuda pulled at the sleeve of Tegoshi’s shirt like a kid, and when Tegoshi turned his head he met Masuda’s begging puppy-eyes. “Tesshi, please. They really wanted me to come, and it won’t be any fun without you…”
Tegoshi laughed. He wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to Masuda if he’d put it like that. “Do you need me there?”
Masuda nodded, with a hint of a smile. “It’ll be a pain if I go alone, but if you’re there I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
Tegoshi smiled. “Fine then, I’ll come.”
****
Tegoshi had sort of feared the reactions of the other attendants of the party, just because he had the guts to come uninvited and above all in company with Masuda. He had noticed the hateful and angry stares from his co-workers even since Masuda had started to hang out with him, and their mental terror had only increased since then. But only when he was alone, when Masuda was in company with him they kept silent as graves. When he was alone, they whispered and laughed behind his back even more than usual though. But honestly, Tegoshi didn’t care all that much. He felt stronger when he wasn’t alone anymore, and Masuda made him happier than he had been for years.
As expected, Tegoshi immediately met whispers and stares when he entered the club where the party was held. It used to bother him, but it didn’t anymore. He told himself that he was here for Masuda’s sake, not any other. He would maybe even be able to enjoy himself, it was possible because Masuda was with him.
Masuda seemed to be in quite a good mood, and it contaminated Tegoshi. They ordered drinks and just talked, only the two of them. Tegoshi liked it when it was like that, just the two of them, not anyone else. He usually didn’t like too big groups, and being with Masuda was just enough. He felt confident and safe with Masuda, feelings he had sort of forgotten over the years.
After a while they got company by Shige and another man whom Tegoshi presumed was his boyfriend. Tegoshi didn’t mind them, Shige was nice, and his boyfriend who presented himself as Nishikido Ryo seemed like a good guy as well. Tegoshi had mixed feelings when looking at the happy Shige. Parts of him were happy for Shige’s sake, but at the same time he was jealous at him. Jealous just because Shige had found that special person that made him happy. Tegoshi wanted to find such a person too, but it felt more or less impossible. He seriously thought that the goddess of destiny laughed at him, because after that thought he saw Yamashita moving towards them, hand in hand with the pretty girl Tegoshi knew was his girlfriend. Yamashita seemed to be in an extraordinary good mood, something Tegoshi wished he could be happy for, but it didn’t matter how much he tried, he still couldn’t. His heart cracked when Yamashita showed the ring on his right ring-finger, an engagement-ring. Tegoshi did his best to hide his sadness, he smiled and congratulated Yamashita just as much as the others, even though he didn’t want to. He managed to keep up the façade for a while, but it became overbearing for his heart when Yamashita and his fiancée started to discuss their upcoming wedding. Tegoshi had been able to keep it up, but that became too much, and he excused himself to go to the men’s room.
The tears started to fall already before he had opened the door to the bathroom, and he let them. There was no need to try to hold back, he knew he wouldn’t succeed anyway. He leaned against the washbasin and gazed at his own reflection in the mirror. He wasn’t pretty at all, eyes all read and teary, and tears still falling down his cheeks. Why? Why did Yamashita have to marry that girl? Why was he so happy with her instead of him? Why did it have to be her? Tegoshi sobbed softly and let the tears drip down in the basin, wiping his cheeks with a sleeve from time to time. If he had been happy earlier, then it was totally ruined now. He had managed to sort of forget his broken heart, but now it was back again, stinging and burning.
He wiped his cheeks quickly when he heard the door open, and looked into the mirror. He saw three of his work-mates standing behind him, wearing these mean faces just as usual. He heard a light laugh, a mocking one. His heart fell down his chest lie a stone.
“Are you crying, Tegoshi?”
For the first time, Tegoshi snapped. He had had enough now, this night had been doomed to be a disaster, and he couldn’t keep the frustration inside himself any longer. He turned around and started at one of the men, the one who had spoken. “That’s none of your business.”
He started to move towards the door, but got grabbed by the wrist. He turned his head and met a gaze full of contempt. “I knew you looked like you were a fag, but I never thought you liked Yamashita of all people. If you’re a dirty dog, then he’s a god in comparison.”
Tegoshi jerked himself free from the man’s grip, but the two other men were fast to grab his arms and pressed his body against the washbasin. Tegoshi fought the men’s grip, but they held his arms in a too tight grip.
“Let go of me!” Tegoshi got surprised that his voice didn’t crack, but he just received a laugh as answer.
“Yamashita rejected you, so now you’re after Masuda, aren’t you?”
Tegoshi gasped when he felt a hand touching him between his legs, where they didn’t belong. He tried to get free, fought the strong arms holding him, but it was meaningless. He suddenly felt a puff of hot air hitting his neck. “Don’t you like it? Wouldn’t you do anything to make Yamashita touch you like this, little fag?”
Tegoshi tried to fight the tears, tried to sound strong, but his voice sounded more or less like a pleading instead. “Let me go…”
The man bended over him, squeezed him with his hand and smirked at Tegoshi’s whining sounds. Tegoshi hated himself when the tears once again started to fall down his cheeks, hated himself for being so weak, not being able to defend himself. He hated these men who did this to him without a reason, but not near as much as he hated himself for not being able to stop them. He tried to kick them when he felt how one of them started to unbuckle his belt, but they just forced him hardly into the washbasin and made him lose his breath. He closed his eyes tight and bit his lip hard when he felt a hand slowly sneaking dangerously close to the waistband of his underwear. It never reached its goal though, and Tegoshi felt the heaviness on his back disappear when he heard a voice coming from the entrance of the bathroom. A familiar and comforting voice.
“What the HELL are you doing?”
The heaviness on Tegoshi’s back disappeared, so did the grip around his arms. He fell down on the floor when they let go of him, heard how they hurried out of the room. His vision was blurry because of the tears that stung in his eyes. He sobbed softly when he heard how footsteps hurried towards him.
“Tesshi, are you okay?”
Tegoshi lifted his gaze from the floor and met Masuda’s worried eyes. He quickly looked down again, he felt so embarrassed, so ashamed. He wished Masuda hadn’t seen something like this, because it made him look so weak and vulnerable.
“Oh god, Tesshi…Have they done things like this before?”
Tegoshi shook his head and sobbed softly. He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him, and suddenly felt safe and protected. He sobbed and hid his face in Masuda’s shoulder, wrapped his own arms around his waist. Masuda just patted his back and whispered comforting words in his ear. It did make Tegoshi feel better. It felt good to have someone that held him, someone that cared. Usually he would never break down like this, but he couldn’t stop his emotions this time. He was keeping too much inside, and now it just came out, the hidden sadness that had rested within him for years. He didn’t want to be alone anymore, didn’t want to face all his enemies and sad feelings alone. “Massu…don’t let go.”
Masuda ran his hands up and down Tegoshi’s spine. “I won’t go anywhere.”
“Do you promise?”
Masuda nodded. “I promise.”
For some reason, Tegoshi believed him. He had never believed in another person like this, but this time he did. Because Masuda had done everything no one else had ever done for him. Tegoshi rested his face against Masuda’s shoulder and let the tears fall. Masuda wouldn’t judge him, Tegoshi became sure of that when Masuda tightened his grip and whispered softly in his ear just to comfort him. He wasn’t all alone anymore, and somehow that healed his broken heart a bit.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I’m not quite satisfied with this chap, but I don’t hate it either, so I decided to post it^^
Thanks for reading, comments are love ^.^<3333