Oops. I forgot you would probably read this... no really. You are, of course, right. And yes, we've had this conversation before--just before I settled in and wrote 100 decent pages of the Lizzy novel, for example. (Though that's not the only time you've held my hand through this weirdness and I haven't always come out the other side productive.)
One reason I wanted to start lj was to spare my Beloveds some of the repetitive angst. I do this. And then I do this again. And my poor friends are just plain sick of it. (Understandably so--its not so different than ... oooh. Just had a thought that I'd rather share privately. I will get to that later. )
If its any consolation, I have absorbed that I yam what I yam. I'm not nearly so hung up on the form the writing takes as I used to be. Last night's post was more about time than about writing. Maybe it was just about me gearing up. I'm readying myself to jump into the deep end.
In the last few weeks I've been scurrying around, trying to make life calm enough to accommodate my mental absence. I've made real progress but I have a few more "things" to establish. (Ch--'s annual "how to keep that amazing mind busy" program for instance.) I guess I'm just getting antsy. As my must-do list shrinks it makes a little room for a different kind of thinking. And that kind of thinking is so much more satisfying than worrying about our drainfield ... I'm in a place, however, where I still have to arrange to have our septic system pumped. Otherwise I will be up to my neck in crap before I raise my gaze above the screen :D
I'm sorry about bitching on this topic again ... I'm just trying to shift gears more smoothly than I have in the past. 'Probably should have marked that particular entry private.
This is the one topic you are forever allow to bitch about! I just won't sit back and let you feel guilty for writing. You often put far too much pressure on yourself to meet certain standards that aren't nearly so relevant in your life today - and I'm WELL aware of the hypocrisy of that remark from me. But this isn't about me. Let go of standards that no one else will even notice - good enough is good enough! You know I'm always on your side about this, but I also don't care if you NEVER finish telling Lizzy's story. She's pretty damn cool, and I'm curious about what's going to happen to the poor dear, but it's just one of many projects in your life. And it's only one of the stories you have inside you. You may not understand how good lj really is for you - it puts you in contact with lots of writers who struggle with some of the same constraints, provides you with a place to ramble about whatever (always my favorite stuff of yours to read BTW), and gives you a vital outlet for everything. Very little in your life is real to you until you've written it down. Now repeat after me: writing is GOOD for me, and I will NOT feel guilty for doing it.
The floor will still be there when you are done - you can wash it then. The laundry can ALL be put on hangers - or someone else can fold it. If it doesn't get folded, they can wear wrinkled stuff. Who cares? Good enough really is good enough. As to any of the voices in your head who are disagreeing with this as you read it, f**k 'em. Set reasonable standards, and live up to them, most of the time. REASONABLE. Relevant to your life as it is now. Pertinent to the life you are striving for. Geared to suit YOUR family unit, within your house. Any one who doesn't live there isn't entitled to an opinion. (Except me, of course)
Be happy, my most astonishing friend, and write. I love you.
One reason I wanted to start lj was to spare my Beloveds some of the repetitive angst. I do this. And then I do this again. And my poor friends are just plain sick of it. (Understandably so--its not so different than ... oooh. Just had a thought that I'd rather share privately. I will get to that later. )
If its any consolation, I have absorbed that I yam what I yam. I'm not nearly so hung up on the form the writing takes as I used to be. Last night's post was more about time than about writing. Maybe it was just about me gearing up. I'm readying myself to jump into the deep end.
In the last few weeks I've been scurrying around, trying to make life calm enough to accommodate my mental absence. I've made real progress but I have a few more "things" to establish. (Ch--'s annual "how to keep that amazing mind busy" program for instance.) I guess I'm just getting antsy. As my must-do list shrinks it makes a little room for a different kind of thinking. And that kind of thinking is so much more satisfying than worrying about our drainfield ... I'm in a place, however, where I still have to arrange to have our septic system pumped. Otherwise I will be up to my neck in crap before I raise my gaze above the screen :D
I'm sorry about bitching on this topic again ... I'm just trying to shift gears more smoothly than I have in the past. 'Probably should have marked that particular entry private.
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The floor will still be there when you are done - you can wash it then. The laundry can ALL be put on hangers - or someone else can fold it. If it doesn't get folded, they can wear wrinkled stuff. Who cares? Good enough really is good enough. As to any of the voices in your head who are disagreeing with this as you read it, f**k 'em. Set reasonable standards, and live up to them, most of the time. REASONABLE. Relevant to your life as it is now. Pertinent to the life you are striving for. Geared to suit YOUR family unit, within your house. Any one who doesn't live there isn't entitled to an opinion. (Except me, of course)
Be happy, my most astonishing friend, and write. I love you.
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