Various Rambles on a Windy Winter's Day, December 2010 version
The Beauty Myth
One of my addictions/coping mechanisms, aside from bingeing, is shopping. I love to buy makeup and nail polish, especially, although I hardly wear either. Just like with the bingeing, I get a high from the chase and acquisition...but that feeling never lasts and then I'm left with my depression and loneliness and whatever the hell else it is that bothers me.
I used to buy drugstore makeup, but I've been graduating the last few years to more high-end products. Sephora and Ulta are my favorite stores. When we moved I had to throw out so much makeup that was so old but that I'd never used...even though I felt guilty about throwing some of them away because they were expensive (Prescriptives products, for instance, that must have been 15 years old or more). I've read articles that say to throw out mascara after 3 months and powdered items after a year. Ha!
My problem is that I like to sleep -- also part of the depression issue. I'd rather sleep in for a few minutes more than get up early to do hair and makeup -- not that I'm a good hairstylist, either. That leaves me no time to put on any of my products.
So now I have tons of eyeshadows, some cheap like the 100-color ELF kit I just bought for $10, to the new Estee Lauder, Urban Decay, and Bare Escentuals products I also bought this fall. I also have Nars blushes, many brands of undereye concealer (maybe one day I'll find one that really works!), eyeliners, mascaras, lipsticks, lip glosses, etc. I want to use these things and am going to try to force myself to.
I watch beauty "gurus" on Youtube. Many of them are where I've heard about products I've bought. The "haul" videos are fascinating in their excess, but also sad because I could film some myself.
Sometimes I feel like I should be on a hoarders show. Let's not even talk about my books and DVD's....
My Cat Nezumi
I wrote that I'd update about my cat, so I might as well now. He turned 16 in July, which can be old for a cat, but he's an indoor-only cat and my last one lived to 20, so it doesn't seem that remarkable to me.
His mom was dumped at my sister's house, and my mom chose him out of the litter because he was the biggest and fluffiest, the true pick of the litter. His mom was a standard domestic short-haired gray tabby, and he has the markings/colorings of one, but his fur is so long that it appears to be solid or tone-on-tone more than striped. When he's had to be shaved for various reasons, I learned that his skin actually has stripes on it. Never knew that about cats.
Not sure if he's part Maine Coon or some other large cat breed. He's farily large, I guess, because every vet he's ever been to seems to remark on that. (He's big but not fat.)
His first health crisis occurred when he was young and he got crystals in his urine. He survived that and was put on special prescription cat food. After a number of years, his vet changed to a different formula, then said we could just feed him regular food. I'd been told the cheap food I fed him as a younger cat contributed to his crystal problem, so after he was cleared to regular food again, I kept him in the Science Diet line. (S.D. makes the Prescription Diet food he ate.)
Fast forward a few years, and he ended up with constipation issues that is called megacolon. I have to give him a special liquid to help with that, but he still has problems with it sometimes and it will just get worse. The constipation makes him go outside his litter box because he thinks the pain he feels in trying to have a movement is caused by the box. (Strange cat logic.)
The drive here to KS was stressful for him. He hates being in his carrier in the car for anything, but 13 hours was a nightmare. His vet in Indy gave me a sedative pill to give him, but it didn't do a damn thing but make him not able to walk well. He cried the entire drive. ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE STATES. Whoa! (Sorry, had to make a double rainbow joke.)
His new vet here in KS diagnosed him with early kidney disease (which will lead to kidney failure) and a thyroid problem. Because of his kidney disease, the vet hospital will not do the radioactive thyroid treatment on him. So now we have to give him more pills, plus the liquid. Cats just love taking pills. :P We have to wrap him in a blanket like a burrito and force them down. It's an adventure, twice a day.
His vet here said that some cats with kidney failure sometimes live for 5 years after diagnosis, but she thinks he might live only about another year or so. It's hard for me to think about losing him, because I've had him since he was a kitten. I lost my bird last year, and now my cat....
We never had the money to take good medical care of animals when I was growing up, so this cat is the first I've had to go to the vet regularly. I've spent so much money on him, but I love him. He's very affectionate with me, likes to talk and cuddle, which is so different from the other cat I had, who was very aloof and quiet.
Mom and one of my nieces keeps telling me to put him to sleep, but he still seems like he's happy to be alive and is sometimes very active like a kitten. We'll have to wait and see how he does. I'll miss him so much when he dies.
Married Life and the Rest
For the most part, my husband and I get along really well. He's my best friend and confidante, all the things I'd wanted in a partner, but sometimes of course we fight/argue. It's frustrating trying to communicate with someone else sometimes, different family cultures, different expectations, etc. Even trying to know our own feelings or motivations can be a chore, to then try to explain them....
I'm still a housewife/retired/unemployed. I wonder if there will ever be a time in my life where I know exactly what I want to be when I grow up? My husband had a goal to be an academic, but I've never really known what I wanted to do or be. I thought I'd write, but that hasn't happened. I just don't know....
Enough rambling. If you've read this far, thank you.
Until the next time!
One of my addictions/coping mechanisms, aside from bingeing, is shopping. I love to buy makeup and nail polish, especially, although I hardly wear either. Just like with the bingeing, I get a high from the chase and acquisition...but that feeling never lasts and then I'm left with my depression and loneliness and whatever the hell else it is that bothers me.
I used to buy drugstore makeup, but I've been graduating the last few years to more high-end products. Sephora and Ulta are my favorite stores. When we moved I had to throw out so much makeup that was so old but that I'd never used...even though I felt guilty about throwing some of them away because they were expensive (Prescriptives products, for instance, that must have been 15 years old or more). I've read articles that say to throw out mascara after 3 months and powdered items after a year. Ha!
My problem is that I like to sleep -- also part of the depression issue. I'd rather sleep in for a few minutes more than get up early to do hair and makeup -- not that I'm a good hairstylist, either. That leaves me no time to put on any of my products.
So now I have tons of eyeshadows, some cheap like the 100-color ELF kit I just bought for $10, to the new Estee Lauder, Urban Decay, and Bare Escentuals products I also bought this fall. I also have Nars blushes, many brands of undereye concealer (maybe one day I'll find one that really works!), eyeliners, mascaras, lipsticks, lip glosses, etc. I want to use these things and am going to try to force myself to.
I watch beauty "gurus" on Youtube. Many of them are where I've heard about products I've bought. The "haul" videos are fascinating in their excess, but also sad because I could film some myself.
Sometimes I feel like I should be on a hoarders show. Let's not even talk about my books and DVD's....
My Cat Nezumi
I wrote that I'd update about my cat, so I might as well now. He turned 16 in July, which can be old for a cat, but he's an indoor-only cat and my last one lived to 20, so it doesn't seem that remarkable to me.
His mom was dumped at my sister's house, and my mom chose him out of the litter because he was the biggest and fluffiest, the true pick of the litter. His mom was a standard domestic short-haired gray tabby, and he has the markings/colorings of one, but his fur is so long that it appears to be solid or tone-on-tone more than striped. When he's had to be shaved for various reasons, I learned that his skin actually has stripes on it. Never knew that about cats.
Not sure if he's part Maine Coon or some other large cat breed. He's farily large, I guess, because every vet he's ever been to seems to remark on that. (He's big but not fat.)
His first health crisis occurred when he was young and he got crystals in his urine. He survived that and was put on special prescription cat food. After a number of years, his vet changed to a different formula, then said we could just feed him regular food. I'd been told the cheap food I fed him as a younger cat contributed to his crystal problem, so after he was cleared to regular food again, I kept him in the Science Diet line. (S.D. makes the Prescription Diet food he ate.)
Fast forward a few years, and he ended up with constipation issues that is called megacolon. I have to give him a special liquid to help with that, but he still has problems with it sometimes and it will just get worse. The constipation makes him go outside his litter box because he thinks the pain he feels in trying to have a movement is caused by the box. (Strange cat logic.)
The drive here to KS was stressful for him. He hates being in his carrier in the car for anything, but 13 hours was a nightmare. His vet in Indy gave me a sedative pill to give him, but it didn't do a damn thing but make him not able to walk well. He cried the entire drive. ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE STATES. Whoa! (Sorry, had to make a double rainbow joke.)
His new vet here in KS diagnosed him with early kidney disease (which will lead to kidney failure) and a thyroid problem. Because of his kidney disease, the vet hospital will not do the radioactive thyroid treatment on him. So now we have to give him more pills, plus the liquid. Cats just love taking pills. :P We have to wrap him in a blanket like a burrito and force them down. It's an adventure, twice a day.
His vet here said that some cats with kidney failure sometimes live for 5 years after diagnosis, but she thinks he might live only about another year or so. It's hard for me to think about losing him, because I've had him since he was a kitten. I lost my bird last year, and now my cat....
We never had the money to take good medical care of animals when I was growing up, so this cat is the first I've had to go to the vet regularly. I've spent so much money on him, but I love him. He's very affectionate with me, likes to talk and cuddle, which is so different from the other cat I had, who was very aloof and quiet.
Mom and one of my nieces keeps telling me to put him to sleep, but he still seems like he's happy to be alive and is sometimes very active like a kitten. We'll have to wait and see how he does. I'll miss him so much when he dies.
Married Life and the Rest
For the most part, my husband and I get along really well. He's my best friend and confidante, all the things I'd wanted in a partner, but sometimes of course we fight/argue. It's frustrating trying to communicate with someone else sometimes, different family cultures, different expectations, etc. Even trying to know our own feelings or motivations can be a chore, to then try to explain them....
I'm still a housewife/retired/unemployed. I wonder if there will ever be a time in my life where I know exactly what I want to be when I grow up? My husband had a goal to be an academic, but I've never really known what I wanted to do or be. I thought I'd write, but that hasn't happened. I just don't know....
Enough rambling. If you've read this far, thank you.
Until the next time!