Is this a thing? yeah, it is..

The past 6 months have been a roller coster as I've been getting to know myself on a whole other deep level. I broke my contant with my TF - this is a whole other story in it self. Carmic bonds are torturous some times. And I really need the space. I need the space so I can give myself the love I deserve. I've ( Read more... )

Here I stand again. Riddled with the feeling of being rejected. Not that I truly am, but the feeling is there. Strong and overpowering - engulfing me fully. The feeling of even a small part of me being asked to withdraw or to recede my presence, turns into a full-blown torrent of pain and raining hellfire. It's consuming, in dangerous ways, as I do ( Read more... )

this is something I think about a lot. my fear. my biggest fear in life is to be loved. allowing someone to love me, and to let them into seeing all of me. I always push people away, lock them out and hide myself. I'm working on it, but it's hard. for me, love has always meant consequenses and abusiveness - being abused. Weather it's been family, ( Read more... )

I dream. I'm always a dreamer. I think that was my first realisation of who I am - a dreamer. But within that dream, the dream of me, resides so much truth. There's a clairvoyance in my mind. The hidden and unseen have always been clear to me. I can sense things coming a long way, this is how I see you. I guess my previous entry today hid more ( Read more... )

Time moves, it swirls and intermingles and after a while it's all a blur anyway. I get lost in time, I loose track of it and dissolves within it. The concept is too abstract for me sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even of this world at all. I connect but not really. It's like I keep watching from the side and I can't engage.

Finding people to ( Read more... )

I keep thinking I'm entering new and unchartered terrirories, but I guess the reality is that I'm just moving in similar cycles. I am trying to learn, change, grow from all of my expereinces, some are harder than others. For once I'm trying to share. Not because I want people to see me, but because people are asking me to share. And somehow it's ( Read more... )

So many things have happened. So many changes. This past year I've mostly spent my time working. I haven't written for ages, at least nothing creative ( Read more... )