dramatics in the shower
l always come to great epiphanies in the shower for some reason. I work myself up in a tangle before I go to bed, thinking and analyzing and just blowing things out of proportion and then bringing myself back to a freaky Freudian dream. I guess when I finally step into the steaming shower in the morning, my brain just goes 'enough, screw this, this is what I need to do' Viola
So yeah, I've decided to take some time off. I'm posing self inflicted hermit-ness onto myself for the next week, longer if my brain still stresses out just thinking about stuff.
Never thought summer would be more stressful than the school year honestly, you know something's wrong when...
I went camping first, then to a mass of sleepovers that went WOSH right over my head, to go downtown, to get to my friend in freaking next state because I haven't seen her in a year, to pleasing my parents, to social drama, to the stupid guys in my life, to the stupid stupid guys in my life, and just, to this strange cluttered feeling of just GARG.
I think I'm having what's called a mid-teen crisis.
So my phone is unplugged, I'm staying off messenger and nex, the only place where I'm going to visit regularly and often, is the pen, paper, and journal.
For most of my life I'm used to moving around, not having much company and whatever company there is, kinda loses it's draw after a while. Being the only child, and being that my parents are there like for a grand total of like ten hours/week I'm used to being on my own. I worked out everything based on my interests and my needs. I could not sleep last night, having one of those blind attacks of 'omg I'mma die one day and all i've done is this curdd, dangdangdoodie'
Refocus, I want to draw, write and paint and rip up things and make them new again.
I'm not built for so much shallow social interaction for a month on end with no reprieve, I want to curl up and be like the little insolent rebellious nerd inside my heart.
X)
So yeah, I've decided to take some time off. I'm posing self inflicted hermit-ness onto myself for the next week, longer if my brain still stresses out just thinking about stuff.
Never thought summer would be more stressful than the school year honestly, you know something's wrong when...
I went camping first, then to a mass of sleepovers that went WOSH right over my head, to go downtown, to get to my friend in freaking next state because I haven't seen her in a year, to pleasing my parents, to social drama, to the stupid guys in my life, to the stupid stupid guys in my life, and just, to this strange cluttered feeling of just GARG.
I think I'm having what's called a mid-teen crisis.
So my phone is unplugged, I'm staying off messenger and nex, the only place where I'm going to visit regularly and often, is the pen, paper, and journal.
For most of my life I'm used to moving around, not having much company and whatever company there is, kinda loses it's draw after a while. Being the only child, and being that my parents are there like for a grand total of like ten hours/week I'm used to being on my own. I worked out everything based on my interests and my needs. I could not sleep last night, having one of those blind attacks of 'omg I'mma die one day and all i've done is this curdd, dangdangdoodie'
Refocus, I want to draw, write and paint and rip up things and make them new again.
I'm not built for so much shallow social interaction for a month on end with no reprieve, I want to curl up and be like the little insolent rebellious nerd inside my heart.
X)