No seriously, for real this time
Ugh. At some point this weekend Kate and I were driving from one social engagement to another and I just pressed my hands to my face and moaned "I am in crisis mode." Mind you, both social engagements were people that I love and enjoy, and really this weekend was actually pretty fun, but.
Crisis mode. It's happening.
It's not just one thing. It's everything. Like I don't even know, the fact that it's raining, the fact that I desperately want to travel far away, and the fact that I'd rather be writing or reading or skating or doing anything in the world other than answering emails at work. It is what I'm eating, the money that I'm spending, the job search, my mother's recent unemployment, my sister's probably health-harming stress, my simultaneous desire to see everyone in the whole world and no one at all, the fact that I am TERRIFIED that I won't be paying attention and the Boy will surprise me with a break up when I am the least capable of dealing with it, the dishes, the laundry, the state of my kitchen floor, the oil change my car needs, the grocery store. I'm coughing constantly and my neck is tense. I've had headaches off and on for about a week. Just. Everything.
But really this update isn't to whine. No one ever got through a crisis by whining.
I woke up today and went to work even though I didn't want to. I ate a healthy breakfast even though there was coffee cake in the break room. I'm sipping tea to soothe my cough-shredded throat. I'm... well, making as much of an attempt to work as I usually do. I plan on stopping by the grocery store on the way home to work to get all of the fruit and orange juice. I'm going to stretch for five minutes at some point even if it kills me. I've promised myself I'll spend at least an hour looking for jobs. Instead of cleaning all the things at once and exhausting myself I'm trying to slowly clean a little more each day. I would like to tell more people how much they mean to me.
So. Yes. If you've been wondering about me. That's where I am right now. I DO MEAN THIS TO BE LESS OF A BUMMER THAN IT'S COMING ACROSS AS. I going to blame it on the rain outside. It's turning my little "No, no, it's okay. I shall overcome this!" missive into "No, no, it's okay. I'll just keep toiling until I die."
Crisis mode. It's happening.
It's not just one thing. It's everything. Like I don't even know, the fact that it's raining, the fact that I desperately want to travel far away, and the fact that I'd rather be writing or reading or skating or doing anything in the world other than answering emails at work. It is what I'm eating, the money that I'm spending, the job search, my mother's recent unemployment, my sister's probably health-harming stress, my simultaneous desire to see everyone in the whole world and no one at all, the fact that I am TERRIFIED that I won't be paying attention and the Boy will surprise me with a break up when I am the least capable of dealing with it, the dishes, the laundry, the state of my kitchen floor, the oil change my car needs, the grocery store. I'm coughing constantly and my neck is tense. I've had headaches off and on for about a week. Just. Everything.
But really this update isn't to whine. No one ever got through a crisis by whining.
I woke up today and went to work even though I didn't want to. I ate a healthy breakfast even though there was coffee cake in the break room. I'm sipping tea to soothe my cough-shredded throat. I'm... well, making as much of an attempt to work as I usually do. I plan on stopping by the grocery store on the way home to work to get all of the fruit and orange juice. I'm going to stretch for five minutes at some point even if it kills me. I've promised myself I'll spend at least an hour looking for jobs. Instead of cleaning all the things at once and exhausting myself I'm trying to slowly clean a little more each day. I would like to tell more people how much they mean to me.
So. Yes. If you've been wondering about me. That's where I am right now. I DO MEAN THIS TO BE LESS OF A BUMMER THAN IT'S COMING ACROSS AS. I going to blame it on the rain outside. It's turning my little "No, no, it's okay. I shall overcome this!" missive into "No, no, it's okay. I'll just keep toiling until I die."