Regret
People who say they never regret anything are full of shit and are in denial. I say that because I have so many regrets that I have lost count.
My biggest regret is that I wish I would have never married my ex husband. Had I never married him, I would still have my son and would be an independent woman. Yes, I know that if I would have never married my ex I would not have the wonderful friends I have now, but all of my friends can understand I'd take my son over them any day, and are not upset about that.
The reason I am talking about this is because I am not in my son's life. He is in Phoenix and is not doing good at all. Apparently he has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a high-functioning form of Autism. He also has issues with people coming in and out of his life. First it was his father that was back and forth in his life because of his duty in the military. Then it was me because of Nick and his bullshit of wanting to be with me and not be with me and deciding to file for divorce out of the blue, making me decide to leave his family's home and his crazy grandmother talking me into giving temporary guardianship of Nicky to her when really she had me fill out the wrong paperwork on purpose so I would lose custody of him... Fucking bullshit.
So one of the few people who was almost always in Nicky's life was Joey, Nick's little brother. And he decided to move to Phoenix and start a new life and help Nicky become more stable. And it really helped... Until they realized that the real reason Joey moved out there was because he met some guy and stayed with Nick long enough to get the know the guy and just up and moved out one day, after telling Nicky he would be back... So now Nicky's is acting out again because yet ANOTHER person came in his life and left quickly. Nick tells me he choked a little girl yesterday and then choked two more kids again today. Nick is planning on having him admitted to a hospital for a full psych evaluation.
...And here I am, in Virginia, not able to do anything. I could fly out there, but I wouldn't be able to stay long... Only long enough to break Nicky's little heart when I have to leave again because I don't have enough tenure to take off work!
FUCK! This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!
...and I am spent.
My biggest regret is that I wish I would have never married my ex husband. Had I never married him, I would still have my son and would be an independent woman. Yes, I know that if I would have never married my ex I would not have the wonderful friends I have now, but all of my friends can understand I'd take my son over them any day, and are not upset about that.
The reason I am talking about this is because I am not in my son's life. He is in Phoenix and is not doing good at all. Apparently he has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a high-functioning form of Autism. He also has issues with people coming in and out of his life. First it was his father that was back and forth in his life because of his duty in the military. Then it was me because of Nick and his bullshit of wanting to be with me and not be with me and deciding to file for divorce out of the blue, making me decide to leave his family's home and his crazy grandmother talking me into giving temporary guardianship of Nicky to her when really she had me fill out the wrong paperwork on purpose so I would lose custody of him... Fucking bullshit.
So one of the few people who was almost always in Nicky's life was Joey, Nick's little brother. And he decided to move to Phoenix and start a new life and help Nicky become more stable. And it really helped... Until they realized that the real reason Joey moved out there was because he met some guy and stayed with Nick long enough to get the know the guy and just up and moved out one day, after telling Nicky he would be back... So now Nicky's is acting out again because yet ANOTHER person came in his life and left quickly. Nick tells me he choked a little girl yesterday and then choked two more kids again today. Nick is planning on having him admitted to a hospital for a full psych evaluation.
...And here I am, in Virginia, not able to do anything. I could fly out there, but I wouldn't be able to stay long... Only long enough to break Nicky's little heart when I have to leave again because I don't have enough tenure to take off work!
FUCK! This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!
...and I am spent.