Run Over By A Truck
I've been run over by a truck. Literally. So, my leg is in a cast, it's hot and itchy as hell, and let me just say, heroism does NOT get you the attention from the ladies like it used to (seriously, chivalry is dead because doing something that should be awesome just does not get you laid).
Let me explain.
I was up at a lake with some friends, trying to enjoy the last bits o' summer. To get from where we parked to the lake front, you have to walk down a dirt and rock road about 300 yards long, give or take. Trees line this road, so it's partially shady. However, that means when a truck comes down the road, the people have to squish over to the sides so the truck can get by. Anyway, I'm behind this family. Typical family, mom, dad, two kids that belong to them and each kid has a friend or two with them. And in typical "It's hot" fashion, the kids are antsy, the parents are exhausted, and nobody's really on their toes. Along comes said truck. It carried coolers of water back and forth to the water front for the lifeguards and picnickers and whatnot to drink (actually, I think it's mostly for the med station).
Junior's friend, little brown haired kid, decides to play chicken with the truck, and jumps out into the road as the truck is coming. Truck driver, to his credit, hits his brakes, but on dirt and rock, the truck slides a bit. I snag Junior by the back of his t-shirt, and fling him off the road, but as I do, my foot slips, I do a near split, and said truck runs right over my leg. Hurt like fucking hell. I slammed the truck with my hands as hard as I possibly could to take the pain away that was instantly in my leg. Chaos ensues, people start yelling and moving, and luckily, someone has the good grace to get the kids away so I can curse like someone just ran over my leg.
Now, here we are one week later. Junior's friend's parents are paying the bills, truck driver guy is a little wigged out, but I'm not suing or anything like that, and I'm sitting around in September Texas heat with my lower right leg in a cast (luckily, the bone snapped clean through, like a karate chop to a board, doctor's said if things had been crushed it would've been messy). My friends, who had plans for Labor Day to go to the lake again, decide to take me out to the bar and cheer me up and stuff. We tell the story. One of my friends even tells girls that I saved the kid's life (maybe I did, but when I think about it, I don't know how close the kid really was to getting hit, it's amazing how the pain is crystal clear, but how far in front of the truck the kid really was is hazy). Girls are sort of impressed. One of them even says, "I'da let that kid get hit, if he's gonna be that stupid to step in front of a truck". And, when the end of the night comes, one of my guy friends goes home with a chick. Two others got numbers. I got a few "how sweet" and "such a nice guy" comments and went home alone.
Seriously, I can't even save a kid's life and get some hero sex. I swear, it's a blessing and a curse. Guys, if you're going through a dry spell, hang out with me...I can get my friend's laid with the drop of a hat, but for the life of me, can't get even a make-out session for myself.
And this cast is hot and itchy. Gah.
Let me explain.
I was up at a lake with some friends, trying to enjoy the last bits o' summer. To get from where we parked to the lake front, you have to walk down a dirt and rock road about 300 yards long, give or take. Trees line this road, so it's partially shady. However, that means when a truck comes down the road, the people have to squish over to the sides so the truck can get by. Anyway, I'm behind this family. Typical family, mom, dad, two kids that belong to them and each kid has a friend or two with them. And in typical "It's hot" fashion, the kids are antsy, the parents are exhausted, and nobody's really on their toes. Along comes said truck. It carried coolers of water back and forth to the water front for the lifeguards and picnickers and whatnot to drink (actually, I think it's mostly for the med station).
Junior's friend, little brown haired kid, decides to play chicken with the truck, and jumps out into the road as the truck is coming. Truck driver, to his credit, hits his brakes, but on dirt and rock, the truck slides a bit. I snag Junior by the back of his t-shirt, and fling him off the road, but as I do, my foot slips, I do a near split, and said truck runs right over my leg. Hurt like fucking hell. I slammed the truck with my hands as hard as I possibly could to take the pain away that was instantly in my leg. Chaos ensues, people start yelling and moving, and luckily, someone has the good grace to get the kids away so I can curse like someone just ran over my leg.
Now, here we are one week later. Junior's friend's parents are paying the bills, truck driver guy is a little wigged out, but I'm not suing or anything like that, and I'm sitting around in September Texas heat with my lower right leg in a cast (luckily, the bone snapped clean through, like a karate chop to a board, doctor's said if things had been crushed it would've been messy). My friends, who had plans for Labor Day to go to the lake again, decide to take me out to the bar and cheer me up and stuff. We tell the story. One of my friends even tells girls that I saved the kid's life (maybe I did, but when I think about it, I don't know how close the kid really was to getting hit, it's amazing how the pain is crystal clear, but how far in front of the truck the kid really was is hazy). Girls are sort of impressed. One of them even says, "I'da let that kid get hit, if he's gonna be that stupid to step in front of a truck". And, when the end of the night comes, one of my guy friends goes home with a chick. Two others got numbers. I got a few "how sweet" and "such a nice guy" comments and went home alone.
Seriously, I can't even save a kid's life and get some hero sex. I swear, it's a blessing and a curse. Guys, if you're going through a dry spell, hang out with me...I can get my friend's laid with the drop of a hat, but for the life of me, can't get even a make-out session for myself.
And this cast is hot and itchy. Gah.