(no subject)
Man. I need thicker skin.
When things go wrong, they seem to affect me to the point that I can feel myself slipping into a "blue period". That's just what your therapist calls a depressive state. I guess telling you that you just have a case of the blues sounds better than saying you're crazy.
I got myself into a bad situation yesterday, and yeah, it sucks pretty badly. When I found out, I was literally shaking so badly that I could barely use my hands and I actually had to go lie down for a few minutes. It's really been affecting me in a not so good way. The worst of it is hat this shouldn't be affecting me so badly, but it is. It doesn't help that this situation I got myself into has managed to affect two of my siblings.
Just so you know, I didn't get arrested/shoplift/get into an accident/get pregnant/steal a car/or have anything stolen. In the real world, this thing that happened wouldn't be considered major. I'd probably get a "so what?" response if I told anyone I know, but the fact that it DID happen, and it happened ONLY because of one stupid seemingly insignificant thing I did even though that a little voice in my head told me to rethink it, is sort of haunting me. I always feel like such a screw-up.
My siblings aren't even that borken up about it, but I still feel like shit for having my mistake hurt them.
Usually, when I feel like a situation is life-or-death-and-OMG-my-world-is-crumbling, it turns out not be QUITE so bad and everything just sort of rights itself. But I just wish that making mistakes didn't make me feel so worthless as a human being. *Sigh*.
I think......it's time I go back into therapy.
When things go wrong, they seem to affect me to the point that I can feel myself slipping into a "blue period". That's just what your therapist calls a depressive state. I guess telling you that you just have a case of the blues sounds better than saying you're crazy.
I got myself into a bad situation yesterday, and yeah, it sucks pretty badly. When I found out, I was literally shaking so badly that I could barely use my hands and I actually had to go lie down for a few minutes. It's really been affecting me in a not so good way. The worst of it is hat this shouldn't be affecting me so badly, but it is. It doesn't help that this situation I got myself into has managed to affect two of my siblings.
Just so you know, I didn't get arrested/shoplift/get into an accident/get pregnant/steal a car/or have anything stolen. In the real world, this thing that happened wouldn't be considered major. I'd probably get a "so what?" response if I told anyone I know, but the fact that it DID happen, and it happened ONLY because of one stupid seemingly insignificant thing I did even though that a little voice in my head told me to rethink it, is sort of haunting me. I always feel like such a screw-up.
My siblings aren't even that borken up about it, but I still feel like shit for having my mistake hurt them.
Usually, when I feel like a situation is life-or-death-and-OMG-my-world-is-crumbling, it turns out not be QUITE so bad and everything just sort of rights itself. But I just wish that making mistakes didn't make me feel so worthless as a human being. *Sigh*.
I think......it's time I go back into therapy.