who knows..
how long do you hold on for? when are you supposed to even know when to let go?
are we just avoiding the inevitable? or am i?
i had a great day today, full of naps and good food with some good friends. and i wanted to end it with a long conversation with scotty, but after 20 minutes of talking, he decides to go to bed.
i dont ever see you. i rarely talk to you all day anymore. i just wanted to talk to you. to have a decent conversation. and that didnt even happen.
its only me that talks when we are on the phone. he never has anything to say to me anymore. im always the one that brings up some conversation and then its just mostly silence. sometimes i get the feeling that we dont have much of a relationship anymore.
the way he says some things really rubs me the wrong way. i tried telling him that i still had the taste of alcohol in my mouth, and he just kept saying, its all in your head! i kept trying to tell him that is wasnt, that i could actually taste the alcohol and he just kept acting like i was crazy.
i dont know if i have just thought too much about this, but he doesnt act like himself sometimes. are we just changing and pulling away from each other without even knowing it? im afraid that im losing him and he just doesnt even care. i feel like i dont really know him sometimes.
i dont know. i really dont know. i just want our old relationship back. i just want to have good conversations with him. i want him to not watch a movie before he goes to bed so that he isnt falling asleep on the phone. i just really feel like he chooses his friends over me every time.
maybe he is falling out of love with me.
maybe me going to visit him is a bad idea. i think i shouldnt have bought that ticket so early.
are we just avoiding the inevitable? or am i?
i had a great day today, full of naps and good food with some good friends. and i wanted to end it with a long conversation with scotty, but after 20 minutes of talking, he decides to go to bed.
i dont ever see you. i rarely talk to you all day anymore. i just wanted to talk to you. to have a decent conversation. and that didnt even happen.
its only me that talks when we are on the phone. he never has anything to say to me anymore. im always the one that brings up some conversation and then its just mostly silence. sometimes i get the feeling that we dont have much of a relationship anymore.
the way he says some things really rubs me the wrong way. i tried telling him that i still had the taste of alcohol in my mouth, and he just kept saying, its all in your head! i kept trying to tell him that is wasnt, that i could actually taste the alcohol and he just kept acting like i was crazy.
i dont know if i have just thought too much about this, but he doesnt act like himself sometimes. are we just changing and pulling away from each other without even knowing it? im afraid that im losing him and he just doesnt even care. i feel like i dont really know him sometimes.
i dont know. i really dont know. i just want our old relationship back. i just want to have good conversations with him. i want him to not watch a movie before he goes to bed so that he isnt falling asleep on the phone. i just really feel like he chooses his friends over me every time.
maybe he is falling out of love with me.
maybe me going to visit him is a bad idea. i think i shouldnt have bought that ticket so early.