just packing away
im beginning to pack.... but it is not going so well. hah. im really flustered and i honestly dont know where to begin!
so i feel like scotty and i arent talking that much. like he forgot to call again, after he said he would. he was probably busy. but ya know, you can pick up the phone and call your girl.. its not that hard. it is making me think that he isnt thinking about me enough to call.
whatever man. i am either beginning to lose interest, or i am just getting used to him being mr.unreliable. so i guess i dont really mind.
4 days until i see him. im excited, yet a little nervous. and kinda bitter. i dont really know what to think right now. i am either constantly bitter about him not calling or im either getting these butterflies in my stomach from being so excited to see him. so its a love/hate relationship with my emotions right now.
like why is it so hard for him to call me and just talk? we're still in a relationship you know. give me a break here scotty!
when he doesnt call or something, thats when i start to think that i am coming in second in his life.
i am probably reading too much into this, like i always do!
im good at that.
i went to the puyallup fair yesterday and i had a lot of fun! the house we went to afterwards was even better :) lets just say...... im excited to get back to school after i visit scotty ;)
if i wasnt with scotty, i would still definitely want to be ina relationship. being in one makes me love having someone to come home to... to have someone there for you...emotionally and physically!
so we'll see what happens. i hope the odds are in my favor though.
im trying to think of how i acted last year around this time. like did ignore scotty when i went out? or did i text him while i was out? its kinda sad that i cant even remember haha. damn my memory. but i really do think that i did call him when i was out and text him a bunch. so honestly? i dont know what his problem is. like what is he doing that he cant just open his phone and say, hey baby. what are you doing? like i would text him last night, and that rarely ever happens when he goes out.....
nooo, i have to wait fucking 4-8 hours to fucking hear from HIM. isnt it a trip that i cant talk to him when i want to? like yesterday... i was trying to explain to him what kind of mood i was in and why i was feeling like i didnt give a shit anymore. and he either didnt listen or just didnt really want to listen. i dont know. i cant rely on him anymore for anything i feel like. i dont like that.
i also dont like feeling like i depend on him for everything. but thats kinda what happens most of the time. and more times than not, i havent been getting any comfort back.
i want my boyfriend back. i wish he would make time for me.
maybe i shouldnt even put up with him. maybe katie is right.
whatever
so i feel like scotty and i arent talking that much. like he forgot to call again, after he said he would. he was probably busy. but ya know, you can pick up the phone and call your girl.. its not that hard. it is making me think that he isnt thinking about me enough to call.
whatever man. i am either beginning to lose interest, or i am just getting used to him being mr.unreliable. so i guess i dont really mind.
4 days until i see him. im excited, yet a little nervous. and kinda bitter. i dont really know what to think right now. i am either constantly bitter about him not calling or im either getting these butterflies in my stomach from being so excited to see him. so its a love/hate relationship with my emotions right now.
like why is it so hard for him to call me and just talk? we're still in a relationship you know. give me a break here scotty!
when he doesnt call or something, thats when i start to think that i am coming in second in his life.
i am probably reading too much into this, like i always do!
im good at that.
i went to the puyallup fair yesterday and i had a lot of fun! the house we went to afterwards was even better :) lets just say...... im excited to get back to school after i visit scotty ;)
if i wasnt with scotty, i would still definitely want to be ina relationship. being in one makes me love having someone to come home to... to have someone there for you...emotionally and physically!
so we'll see what happens. i hope the odds are in my favor though.
im trying to think of how i acted last year around this time. like did ignore scotty when i went out? or did i text him while i was out? its kinda sad that i cant even remember haha. damn my memory. but i really do think that i did call him when i was out and text him a bunch. so honestly? i dont know what his problem is. like what is he doing that he cant just open his phone and say, hey baby. what are you doing? like i would text him last night, and that rarely ever happens when he goes out.....
nooo, i have to wait fucking 4-8 hours to fucking hear from HIM. isnt it a trip that i cant talk to him when i want to? like yesterday... i was trying to explain to him what kind of mood i was in and why i was feeling like i didnt give a shit anymore. and he either didnt listen or just didnt really want to listen. i dont know. i cant rely on him anymore for anything i feel like. i dont like that.
i also dont like feeling like i depend on him for everything. but thats kinda what happens most of the time. and more times than not, i havent been getting any comfort back.
i want my boyfriend back. i wish he would make time for me.
maybe i shouldnt even put up with him. maybe katie is right.
whatever