( 3am cut tbh )

I know I'm only getting this upset because I'm sick, and that makes everything in the world seem worse, especially when I've had a hard day at work on top of it, but I can't fucking help it ( Read more... )

I FUCKING HATE BEING SICK.

ugh.

like, every time I feel like I'm in a good place (there will be a ridic long post about said good place-ness sometime) my body decides something terrible must be happening and goes into shut down.

I ache, I'm too hot and too cold, and just... general ughness. Plus I have overdue priest!fic as well as my 182942478 ( Read more... )

THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

And it makes me feel crazy. Okay, not so far from my general state of being at the moment but still. This. Should. Not. Be. Okay.

I should not feel fucking obligated to spend time with her. But with the whole not-showing-up-at-church thing and her asthma and whatever I have to go check on her or I look bad. ( Read more... )

Don't run from this. That's what I have to keep telling myself. Don't run from pretty much the best thing you got going for you.

Besides the pure stupidity of it, they don't deserve that. They don't fucking deserve me to freak out and decide they don't care about me when they have done nothing but care about me, love me for fuck's sake, give me a ( Read more... )

( Okay, so I knew this would happen. It doesn't suck any less for it. I'm such a fucking idiot. Weak, God damn fucking weak. )

*SCREAM*

Jesus mother fucking bullshit and crap and FUCK HER for fuck's sake.

FUCK you, Mother.

God, how the hell does she still have enough power over me to actually make me shake? I should be over her so bad but I'm just not.

Thing's have changed for me. I should have changed but it's not that easy ( Read more... )

( FUBAR )