The rest of that day.
THAT day. :) I did say Miniyal went to her parents. And, my brain likes knowing everything that it can about that sad day should I want to use it later. So, the last of the immediate mourning process.Woe. Weep. Sadness.
This, in case you wondered, completes the writings of That Day. While there is what happened later for Min. The cleaning of the room. The storing of things. The dinner from her mother. None of it bears writing on. By then she'd shut down.
The thought had occurred to go before. To get it over with and be done with it. But I couldn’t and so the worst of it remained to do. The worst of it that was not the rest of my life. I crossed the bowl again rather than go around like I could have. A few minutes more with her by my side before I disappeared inside again. It was easier to think I did it for her comfort and not mine.
I walked along, quiet and doing my best to be unseen. Still, I passed a few people. Some of them knew and others did not. The looks I got varied on that line only. I didn’t let any of them speak to me. Instead I kept going until I stood outside the door to my parents’ rooms. One hand lifted and I knocked.
I was expected for the door opened immediately and Corin stood there. Of course they knew. Someone would have made sure they knew. I let her reach out for me and bring me inside. Let her close the door and embrace me even if I had no desire for the touch. Why did people think touching someone else would bring comfort? No one’s touch would ever bring me comfort again.
When she set me free I stepped back and looked from her to Navan. “I’m fine. Please do not make a big deal about this.” Said to Navan. Corin, of course, would do as she pleased. Which involved another hug and tears. I guess she would miss him as well in her own way.
“It’s fine, Corin. I’m sorry you lost a friend. He was truly fond of you.” More tears came and I suppressed a sigh. I patted her back and looked over her shoulder at Navan. He looked back at me. I shook my head and stepped back. “I have things I must do. I just came by to tell you I was fine.”
Corin, bereft of a daughter to mourn on turned to her husband and wept against his shoulder. Well, of course it would hit her so badly. I shook my head again. It must have been then he noticed my hair because I got a more pointed look from him. I met his gaze, nodded once, and left. What else could I say? I had no desire to stick around for my mother’s histrionics. Or my father’s comforting of her. At least with her he would not cast disapproving looks. Just comfort her.
It was not the end of it, I knew. Corin would come by later. Maybe if I was lucky I would be finished by then. From there it was not that long a walk to- his room. What had been-the room.
It had to be done. A deep breath and I opened the door and stepped inside. The tears waited until the door was closed. Until the blanket was taken from the bed. Until I had collapsed upon the divan. More tears. More than I could count. I just cried until it was too much and then I got to work.
Tears were a luxury for another time. I had to get things done. I had to carry on. I had to. . .survive. There was no room for tears in survival. Not yet. Maybe someday.
This, in case you wondered, completes the writings of That Day. While there is what happened later for Min. The cleaning of the room. The storing of things. The dinner from her mother. None of it bears writing on. By then she'd shut down.
The thought had occurred to go before. To get it over with and be done with it. But I couldn’t and so the worst of it remained to do. The worst of it that was not the rest of my life. I crossed the bowl again rather than go around like I could have. A few minutes more with her by my side before I disappeared inside again. It was easier to think I did it for her comfort and not mine.
I walked along, quiet and doing my best to be unseen. Still, I passed a few people. Some of them knew and others did not. The looks I got varied on that line only. I didn’t let any of them speak to me. Instead I kept going until I stood outside the door to my parents’ rooms. One hand lifted and I knocked.
I was expected for the door opened immediately and Corin stood there. Of course they knew. Someone would have made sure they knew. I let her reach out for me and bring me inside. Let her close the door and embrace me even if I had no desire for the touch. Why did people think touching someone else would bring comfort? No one’s touch would ever bring me comfort again.
When she set me free I stepped back and looked from her to Navan. “I’m fine. Please do not make a big deal about this.” Said to Navan. Corin, of course, would do as she pleased. Which involved another hug and tears. I guess she would miss him as well in her own way.
“It’s fine, Corin. I’m sorry you lost a friend. He was truly fond of you.” More tears came and I suppressed a sigh. I patted her back and looked over her shoulder at Navan. He looked back at me. I shook my head and stepped back. “I have things I must do. I just came by to tell you I was fine.”
Corin, bereft of a daughter to mourn on turned to her husband and wept against his shoulder. Well, of course it would hit her so badly. I shook my head again. It must have been then he noticed my hair because I got a more pointed look from him. I met his gaze, nodded once, and left. What else could I say? I had no desire to stick around for my mother’s histrionics. Or my father’s comforting of her. At least with her he would not cast disapproving looks. Just comfort her.
It was not the end of it, I knew. Corin would come by later. Maybe if I was lucky I would be finished by then. From there it was not that long a walk to- his room. What had been-the room.
It had to be done. A deep breath and I opened the door and stepped inside. The tears waited until the door was closed. Until the blanket was taken from the bed. Until I had collapsed upon the divan. More tears. More than I could count. I just cried until it was too much and then I got to work.
Tears were a luxury for another time. I had to get things done. I had to carry on. I had to. . .survive. There was no room for tears in survival. Not yet. Maybe someday.