bad joke of the day
We just had a pretty cool storm tonight. It's been so hot and sticky so we knew that it was on it's way. At one point, the sky was grey-green and the clouds were flying over. I love right before a storm when everything gets super still. It's a little awe-inspiring. I had the kiddies most of the day. The older one went camping over the weekend with a friend, so he was uber-crabby and snarky. The younger one got sent to his room because he flipped off his older brother because he didn't like something that the other said. And they both have a brutal habit of talking in baby-talk. Makes me nuts. So i've stopped answering them when they do it. Wow, do they hate that. If they continue, they go to their rooms to think about how a 7 or 9 year should talk. That's the only thing that makes any impression. Today is August 17 and here is today's joke:
All I need to know I learned from the X-Files
- Trust No One
- Smoking really IS bad
- Always make back-ups of your important data
- Don't eat at restaurants where the motto is "Good People, Good Food"
- The Truth Is Out There
- "Nojo on the rojo"
- Bambi? Her name is Bambi?
- Sometimes you really do get your $29.95's worth from a mail-order video
- Deny Everything
- If it's iced tea, it's love
- If it's root beer, it's fate
- If you find an audio cassette in your car, 10-to-1 you can't dance to it.
- If there's a white van in your driveway, don't drink the water.
- Beware of women named B.J.
- Don't pass judgement while in the Arctic
- Never scan unidentified metals
- Don't look for romance on-line
- Don't accept dinner invitations from bald, tattooed, half-naked men
- Make sure you remember the birhtdays of people who are inportant to you
- No wordrobe is complete without a New York Knicks T-shirt (holes optional), at least one red speedo, and black silk boxers
- Sometimes the only thing you can say is "Sure. Fine. Whatever."
- Miracles happen
- Everyone has on uncle who is an amateur magician.
- Just because someone shot you doesn't mean they're not your friend
- Never, ever, go into a bathroom
- "Go with it"
- If you see a cockroach, say hello to the aliens
- Recieving Superstars of the Superbowl is a good reason to live
- Sometimes simple answers are good. e.g." Why is it so dark in here?" "Because the lights aren't on."