Being on holiday and feeling ill has left me far too much time to discover assholes on the internet.

The problem being, the discovery has been on the internet; the assholes are out there in the real world.

Maybe it is distance, but I'm terrified at the way things are going in Britain. When was it last possible to write an article like this, and have ( Read more... )

I live next door to a primary school and every morning they make this enormous racket. I can't see them, but their noise is right next to my windows, so I have to guess that it is that bizarre combination of exercises/fresh air/patriotism/percussion that you get in places of mass indoctrination. There's what sounds like a gramophone recording ( Read more... )

I just did day 1 of the 30-Day Shred! I hope Jillian Michaels is a multi-billionaire, partly because she's amazing and deserves it, but also because I pirated the DVD. Paying for it plus delivery and import tax would be an absurd amount of time and money here.

I spent much less money instead on a snazzy gold exercise mat and even dumbbells (!!!!) ( Read more... )

Had a lovely chat today with Alison about her megatron-sized turds and my flappy, oversized vagina.

She won on the 'crossing the line' stakes.

Anyway talking to her reminded me of a story I told her which I am now telling you, about going to the optician.

When I got back to the UK I talked a LOT to strangers in shops. It was a joyful grasping of the ( Read more... )

For the first time in ages I feel like a proper adult who is sort of in control of the things she has taken responsibility for. It's not like I didn't get on with things, was not active before, but I always did them out of hasty compulsion and near-panic, not out of assured choice ( Read more... )

Another early morning. Mohammed is in my room being grumpy while asleep, something he excels at, while Pandora has spent the morning getting almost theatrically suspicious of his socks, which is really funny because she keeps sniffing around and then doing a little leap backwards.

I'm in a bit of trouble, one of the artworks from a previous show ( Read more... )

It's 7.30am and I'm up and breakfasted!

One mild compensation of this climate is my inability to sleep in the mornings, which makes me into an early riser, something I associate with good character and happiness. I got up early from Mohammed's place and walked under all the dusty trees in Garden City, which is always beautiful but even nicer with ( Read more... )

The other day Mohammed draped an orange duster over Pandora's back, and she purred because she likes being under things. Then she saw her tail, which she didn't recognise any more because the cloth was in between, and got all spooked by it. Eventually, after darting it a lot of suspicious glances, she attacked it. Pandora honestly makes my life ( Read more... )

Things are still rocky with Mohammed. It's a bit one step forward, two steps back. In a way I find it ok, and want to see it as, we're good when we're good, and when it's bad it's healthy expression of true feelings, but he's such a moody bastard that bad days have the effect of undoing all the good ones, and it's beginning to annoy me.

I would like ( Read more... )

I keep forgetting about curfew. Was at work till 11.30 tonight and only just got reminded by Mohammed that being Downtown after 12 would be a Bad Thing, as ratified by many men with guns (otherwise known as the army). Managed to get taxi in the nick of time ( Read more... )