Mini update (unfiltered)
So...this has been an emotionally traumatic week. I think I kidded myself a little that I could calmly deal with everything. I began the week having the odd cigarette to calm my nerves but ended up chain smoking by Tuesday. I've cut down again now but it's still helping as a distraction.
I was a wreck before the surgery. There were lots of reasons for this but really from Sunday through to about 1pm on Tuesday I was overcome with the emotion seeing a family member go through GRS brings about. It was especially hard saying a final goodbye to the last remaining physical part of my husband. Zoe is my true soulmate and this whole experience has been so difficult to take in. I've seen her grow so much over the past year so the experience was positive overall but it's brought up so much from our 9 years as friends, lovers and spouses. In a way being there has made me realise that she will always be my family and our family unit will always remain intact despite everything. We're closer now than ever before and I have more empathy with her than ever before.
By Wednesday I was more relaxed and I'd like to thank everyone for being so supportive even though I was a mental nutcase.
Sadly on Thursday I felt I really should get home and spent the evening with my wonderful boyfriend who has been a real rock this past week. He went home at about 1.30 this afternoon so I was able to pick C up from school and spent the afternoon with Zoe's mum, brother and the kids. It was lovely and relaxing. Now I'm back home and this are back to normal. I'm missing Zoe like crazy and it feels odd not being able to pop over to the flat to see her. On Sunday I'm taking the girls to visit her as they're missing her and they're old enough to stay calm and behave.
I did keep a paper diary in Brighton and I expect I'll copy some of that up as some bits may be useful to anyone going through similar.
I was a wreck before the surgery. There were lots of reasons for this but really from Sunday through to about 1pm on Tuesday I was overcome with the emotion seeing a family member go through GRS brings about. It was especially hard saying a final goodbye to the last remaining physical part of my husband. Zoe is my true soulmate and this whole experience has been so difficult to take in. I've seen her grow so much over the past year so the experience was positive overall but it's brought up so much from our 9 years as friends, lovers and spouses. In a way being there has made me realise that she will always be my family and our family unit will always remain intact despite everything. We're closer now than ever before and I have more empathy with her than ever before.
By Wednesday I was more relaxed and I'd like to thank everyone for being so supportive even though I was a mental nutcase.
Sadly on Thursday I felt I really should get home and spent the evening with my wonderful boyfriend who has been a real rock this past week. He went home at about 1.30 this afternoon so I was able to pick C up from school and spent the afternoon with Zoe's mum, brother and the kids. It was lovely and relaxing. Now I'm back home and this are back to normal. I'm missing Zoe like crazy and it feels odd not being able to pop over to the flat to see her. On Sunday I'm taking the girls to visit her as they're missing her and they're old enough to stay calm and behave.
I did keep a paper diary in Brighton and I expect I'll copy some of that up as some bits may be useful to anyone going through similar.