Request Radio One : March of the Demented Crossover Plotbunnies
hannahrorlove requested, "I would like to see you post the House/Farscape notes you have mentioned. Or a list of the strangest "House" plotbunnies you have encountered."
I figured I would throw in a few other cracked-out House crossovers as well. Though the DCU ones are getting saved for another post. Yes. There's more than one DCU one. I blame poisonivory.
Farscape/House:
MB: I think he's waiting for me to do the Spectrum of Cuddy's Suits
MB: (Ranging from, "Oh, that's nice," to, "WHY, GOD, WHY?")
Cristin: I'm still trying to figure out how she doesn't get laughed out of meetings.
MB: little tiny hypnotic devices hidden in the cleavage.
Cristin: Perhaps she's like that villain on Farscape who had evil mind-controlling sweat between her breasts.
MB: Grayza...
MB: Oh lord, now I have Cuddy/Grayza in my head.
Cristin: Oh my.
MB: And yet, not the worst pairing I've been stuck with.
Cristin: Okay, now so do I.
Cristin: Scarily, it almost seems to work.
MB: Yes.
MB: They'd be scary.
MB: Men would cower.
MB: They'd enjoy that.
Cristin: Everyone would cower.
Cristin: And then they could exchange shirts, and have fun going through each other's closets.
Weeks later...
MB: I still have Cuddy/Grayza lurking about my head.
Cristin: I would dearly love to see that.
MB: It's sprouted H/W as well.
MB: House convincing Wilson they have to get together to counter the vibes of irritably sexy Cuddy/Grayza.
"In what universe is that a logical argume-"
"*grabs and snogs*"
"Oh, in that universe."
Cristin: Okay, yes.
MB: House: "You realize I'm going to have to oppose your evil and tyrannical rule and all that. Truth, justice, and the American way, yada yada."
Cuddy: "Oh please. As if you could stop fantasizing about me and her long enough to get anything done."
House: "Well, that would be true...."
Cuddy: "See?"
House: "Except Wilson and I are finally sleeping together."
Cuddy: "Huh."
House: "*smirk*"
Cuddy: "Tell you what, we'll split the planet fifty-fifty, and just because I'm feeling generous, you can have producer rights for General Hospital."
House: "I want a spaceship, too."
Cuddy: "And a spaceship, too."
House: "Deal."
Cristin: That's a rather disturbing concept. House (and Wilson) and Cuddy (and Grayza) ruling the world.
Cristin: We're doomed.
MB: Well, House/Wilson/Cuddy is my OT3 of World Domination.
MB: (Wilson gets the middle throne so he can mediate disputes.)
Cristin: They send down proclamations of snark.
MB: The Genius, The Drive, and the Really Great Cheekbones.
Cristin: Heh. Is that their slogan? It could be printed on the huge posters.
MB: (Not to put Wilson down; he'd be invaluable. He'd be the one out there talking to people and holding babies and making the populace go, "We like being ruled by a psychotic threesome, yes we do.")
Cristin: Wilson: the sane face of dictatorship.
MB: *abruptly* Good lord, Cuddy and Grayza--the Courtship.
MB: Cuddy: "She gave me Prada."
House: "You're thinking of selling out to an admittedly attractive alien for a pair of shoes?"
Cuddy: "Not Pradas--Prada. All of it. The whole line."
Cristin: Oh god. Heh, yes.
MB: Cuddy, joyriding across the Atlantic in a Prowler.
MB: And then, for your enjoyment, the mental picture of John coming home and finding all this.
Cristin: ...John's face.
MB: John: "Dad... the homeworld is being run by a bunch of lunatics."
John'sDad: "They're not so bad. I like that James Wilson. Good guy."
John'sFace: "OMGWTFBBQ"
John'sDad: "Anyway, they lowered taxes and instituted global health care."
MB: John: "Oh this has just got to be one of those frelled-up alternate reality wormhole things. Please."
Cristin: ...Jack would totally be for psychotic dictatorship of doom.
Cristin: Especially if they gave lots of money to the space program.
MB: and on Cuddy's instigation, Grayza would manage to make peace with them by giving Aeryn the coolest gun ever.
Aeryn: "Look at this, look at this, on this setting, *flips a switch* it'll only fry organics."
John: "Aeryn, it's a gun."
Aeryn: "You can use it to do the dishes!"
John: "We don't really have dishes."
Cristin: She would name the gun, and insist that the gun is better than Wynona.
Cristin: And then John and Aeryn would get heavily distracted by guns.
MB: either that, or...
"Okay, that is going too far. Sell the homeworld, sure. Suborn my father, okay. Try and lure my wife to the dark side of the force, I kind of expect that by now. But nobody, and I mean nobody, disses Wynona."
Cristin: And then John would go insane (as he's prone to do) and blow things up.
MB: House: "Hey! Stop tha--HEY."
John: "Who the hell are you?"
House: "Dr. Gregory House. Call me Greg. And stop blowing up my Game Boy factory."
John: "Y-... You're House?"
House: "Yeah, what, were you expecting someone different?"
John: "Well, you know, a li--wait, Game Boy factory?"
Cristin: Later, they would be found playing retro Donkey Kong.
MB: And Aeryn and Wilson would get together and commiserate over the difficulties of being married to demented geniuses.
MB: Aeryn: "I mean, I love him, and so I love all of him, but--"
Wilson: "When he goes on a tear..."
Aeryn: "Sometimes I just want to knock him down and sit on him. Except I've tried that and it doesn't work."
Wilson: "It doesn't? There goes that plan."
Cristin: John and Aeryn would eventually be tapped as the somewhat psychotic defense committee to the psychotic dictators.
Cristin: And together, they would all raise the most screwed up child ever in creation'
MB: Children. Grayza's already got one herself.
Cristin: True. I'd forgotten that.
MB: "CRICHTON! YOUR OFFSPRING IS TRYING TO TEETHE ON MY CANE AGAIN."
Cristin: ...if I could draw, I could turn that into fanart.
MB: "Well, it's better than one of the guns again. Come on, D'argo, leave the dictator's stick alone."
Cristin: The toddlers would eventually be banned from the throne room, because House kept accidentally hitting them with his cane.
MB: Accidentally or "accidentally"?
Cristin: Well, mostly "accidentally". But occasionally it was actually on accident!
MB: Wilson: "God you suck at parenting."
House: "Guess that means we're not having any of our own."
Wilson: "Well biology sort of took that out of our hands to begin with...."
House: "I remind you we've got scads of alien technology at our fingertips now."
Wilson: "Oh. Um. *thinks* You know I like you."
House: "I'm hoping more than just like...."
Wilson: "But not enough to gestate for you."
Cristin: But think of the publicity!
MB: Man of the Year Now Mother of the Year?
MB: Wilson: "You should do it."
House: "What?"
Wilson: "It would soften your image."
House: "...."
Cristin: A pregnant House. Now that would be scary. House on scary hormones.
MB: The Cameron in my head still has nightmares.
Cristin: Now there's a question. What are Chase, Foreman, and Cameron doing in this new world of dictatorship?
MB: Chase is fawning. That's his whole job now. He fawns. Grayza finds it amusing.
Cristin: Chase is the new Braca, only prettier and with fewer ambitions.
MB: Foreman is heavily involved in the project devoted to integrating alien tech into the present health-care system.
MB: Cameron started out there, had to shoot an assassin one day, realized she liked it, acquired her very own new black leather wardrobe, and went out to tour the universe.
MB: Every so often they receive postcards of places she's seen (and blown up).
Cristin: I bet she met up with Chiana, and they formed a partnership.
MB: I can see that Postcard.
MB: "Dear House: Met a great person. Blew up some more stuff. Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here. Love, Cameron." and on the front it's her and Chiana, and House is staring at it and Crichton wanders by, then backtracks, tilts his head, and goes, "Pip?"
Cristin: I can completely see that. Completely. And Chiana is draped over Cameron (in her low cut leather), and leering.
Cristin: And they're standing in front of smoldering ruins.
MB: and there's a card from Chiana that arrives the next day for Crichton. "Hey, I didn't know your planet made girls like her!"
Cristin: And then John promptly gets very drunk.
MB: And House wants to join him, but it would be bad for the baby.
MB: The end.
Cristin: ...and what a mental image to end on.
Minutes later....
MB: No.
MB: Stop me.
MB: I won't say it
MB: I refuse to
MB: ...
MB: House's reaction if Scorpy came for a visit.
Cristin: ...oh my god.
MB: I have no self-preservation at all, do I.
Cristin: Scorpy would, of course, have Braca in tow, which could cause strife for Cuddy/Grayza.
MB: "He looks like something that wiggled out from under a rock."
"Fair description, actually."
Cristin: And that thing with the rods? Disturbingly phallic.
MB: and of course the crazed three-eyed druglady and Rygel would swoop by eventually... except with Rygel it would be a state visit.
MB: "And I thought I had weird friends."
"Yeah, well some of my best weird friends are dead, sad to say."
Cristin: House and Rygel discussing politics.
MB: *dies*
Cristin: But Rygel would be appalled that House didn't have 10 wives (and chose to bear the children himself).
MB: "Funny, I heard a story about you...."
Cristin: *snort*
Cristin: And eventually Earth and the Hynerian Empire would develop working trade relations.
MB: Rygel: "That was an extreme circumstance."
House: "Well, consider my choices. I suppose we could have had Chase-"
Wilson: "No."
House: "No?"
Wilson: "Just... no."
MB: Grayza: "What did you say to upset my puppy?"
House: "*mouths 'Puppy?' to Wilson behind his hand, and then* He did it."
Wilson: "What?"
MB: And Wilson decides he's going to hell anyway, between everything else, and buys Grayza a jewel-studded leash and collar by way of apology.
Cristin: ...oh my god. Oh god. Bad brain! Bad!
Cristin: ...does Grayza rent Chase out as a broodmare to appease him?
MB: Maybe she lets visiting heads of state that aren't too "eaaagh" (like the Hynerians or Scarrans) borrow him.
Cristin: ...Chase. The Official Government Prostitute.
Cristin: Can't get someone to agree to the new trade agreement? Send in Chase!
MB: Cameron comes back. "What have you turned into?"
Chase: "I like to think I'm saving lives."
Cameron: "You're a government whore."
Chiana, over her shoulder: "Hey, the two aren't mutually exclusive!"
Cristin: Does Cameron come back when House is still pregnant?
MB: I... have no idea.
Cristin: I'm just picturing Cameron in tight, low-cut leather chatting with a House who's nine months pregnant.
Cristin: It's a rather disturbing image.
Daria/House:
Canth: *Tries to picture that without his brain running screaming into the night*
MB: House's new Duckling: Daria.
MB: Jane shows up at some point. "Who's that really pretty guy?"
"Chase?"
"I thought Chase was one of your coworkers. I don't know who this is."
"Oh. Doctor Wilson. He's the Head of Oncology."
"...why is the Head of another department spending so much time in this one?"
"I don't know and I don't care. Pass the salt."
MB: Ever since then, Canth and I have been picturing Daria as a Duckling.
Cat: House might actually drive her to an expression.
Cat: Besides, I always figured English Academe would drive Daria insane in about thirty seconds flat.
MB: I have a mental image... well, mental sound? of Jane visiting and the following conversation:
Jane: "But why is he there?"
Daria: "Don't know. Don't care."
Jane: "It's not like he has any reason to be there."
Daria: "He does sometimes."
Jane: "D'you think they're... y'know...."
Daria: "Don't know. Don't care."
MB: "She's like you, only completely emotionally flat."
"I know. That's why I hired her."
"Because she's just like you?"
"Because she's emotionally flat. I can get hours of entertainment out of trying to provoke an expression out of her."
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/House:
MB: All I'm saying is
MB: I don't know why someone hasn't already written the Queer Eye guys taking on House
Canth: .. *Pictures that*
Canth: Hello Doom.
Cat: I think Carson and Jai would both have big bruises over their sternums by the end of the show.
Cat: Curiously circular, too.
MB: Carson: "Is there some reason you're demanding your shoes double as highway warning signs?"
Canth: Either they'd kill him, or he'd kill them, or they'd team up and attack Cuddy's wardrobe.
MB: But! Picture them one by one meeting the other members of the extended Housefamily.
Canth: ... *Snicker*
Canth: Okay, that does have an allure to it.
Cat: It'd never ever AIR, but...
MB: Carson: "Oh my goodness."
Jai: "Who's he?"
House: "That would be Doctor Wilson. Head of Oncology."
Carson: "Did he get the position for the cheekbones or for the lips?"
House: "Confidentially I've always suspected it was his ass that did it."
Everybody: "*looks over at House*"
House: "*looks back*"
Kyan: "Are you sure you're straight?"
House: "I am not sure of anything but death, taxes, and the willed stupidity of the human race."
Jai: "That sounded like an evasion."
House: "Yes, it was! And it only took you a minute to spot it. Your mother must be so proud."
Canth: Do Foreman!
Canth: And Cameron!
Canth: Or hell, all of the Ducklings at once.
MB: Foreman would be...
Carson: "Ted!"
Ted: "Where the hell is the sugar in here? What?"
Carson: "Chocolate cake at ten o'clock."
Canth: *Snerk*
MB: Thom: "*looks around House's office* I have nothing to do here."
Cat: I don't know. I can see them having a fight over the windsock lamp.
MB: Oh, once Thom saw his, "I picked out a couple whole furniture displays at the store and took them all, accessories included," home....
Cat: Yes, but still. Although I've seen some of his decorating innovations and some were worse than the windsock.
MB: And all five of them descending on Cameron.
MB: Carson: "Oh honey. No."
Cameron: "What?"
Carson: "Ix-nay on the orals-flay."
Cameron: "But-"
Jai: "*rests hands on her shoulders* Trust him. He knows what he's doing."
MB: Chase would be....
Kyan: "There's attractively floppy. And then there's that."
Chase: "But it-"
Kyan: "It looks like it's eating your face."
Thom: "And as soon as Carson catches sight of you, he will rip that shirt off your back and burn it on the spot."
Kyan: "This will be fun on many levels."
Chase: "O.o"
MB: At House's home:
Ted: "There are like three things in this fridge. Beer, lettuce, cheese, and an orange. Just one orange. Just one lonely orange. It's good cheese, though."
House: "It's Wilson's cheese."
Everybody: "*pause*"
Ted: "You're sure you're not gay."
House: "*disgusted* Yes."
Carson: "Are you sure he's not, too?"
MB: House: "If you touch any of the t-shirts, I do know a hundred ways to kill you without implicating myself."
Carson: "Oh honey, I respect your t-shirts. That's one of the best collections I've ever seen."
House: "Good."
Carson: "I did burn all your turtlenecks."
House: "O.o"
Carson: "Trust me. It's for your own good."
Cat: I'm trying to decide if they'd be immune to Cuddy and the Death Glare Power Cleavage ultimate combo move.
MB: Carson: "When I met you earlier you were so great, Dr. Cuddy. And now this. This, this, this, this. Are there two of you? Is this the evil twin?"
House: "*'huh, that would explain a lot,' look*"
Cat: XD
Cat: Tom says there should be in the fridge also an emergency bottle of Vicodin taped above the icemaker.
MB: that's really the freezer.
MB: the freezer is fully stocked.
Cat: Ahhhh.
MB: the freezer is mecca
MB: House is at one with his microwave oven.
Cat: I hesitate to ask fully stocked with what.
Cat: ...Although actually I bet he knows where to buy gourmet and FROZEN.
Cristin: http://www.homebistro.com/ - for all your frozen gourmet needs
MB: Yes.
MB: Or he gets good takeout and loves his vacuum sealer.
Cat: I'm sure Ted will rip him a new one anyway though, since microwaves do funky things to food.
Cat: Say, every episode of Queer Eye has a purpose. The straight guy is transforming himself to kick-start his love life, celebrate an anniversary, propose, ask his girlfriend to move in, whatever.
Cat: Why have the Fab Five been called in?
MB: I keep wanting to say, "To socialize the bastard so Cuddy can stop worrying about the next billionaire he'll alienate."
Cat: *is not actually sure that the straight guy has to explicitly agree to these things* Isn't actually usually someone else who applies for him? Mother or girlfriend?
MB: It would seem no: http://www.thequeereye.com/Be_on_the_Show/
Cat: But yeah, House'd have to... like, put on a dinner or something. They ALWAYS make the straight guy entertain, even if he's spiffing up for an event elsewhere.
MB: ....
MB: how much does the board hate him, I wonder, and are any of them this imaginative?
Cat: I can imagine Dr. YA THINK?! probably has had time to think about it.
MB: House: "Well, am I suspended?"
Cuddy: "Not... yet."
House: "That sounds ominous. The way Wilson is trying not to grin is more ominous."
Cuddy: "I thought you were toast. I really did."
Wilson: "Peevy had an idea."
Cuddy: "Half the board instantly loved it. They talked the other half around."
Wilson: "I'm... still not sure how."
Cuddy: "Neither am I."
Wilson: "They are right. It could be really good press."
Cuddy: "Could be. I don't trust him to behave."
House: "I have this strange sinking fee--oop, no, just indigestion."
Cat: I can see the man sitting with his wife unwillingly watching TV. He doesn't want to watch Bravo, but she does, and it's her turn with the remote. He's watching these fairies prance around mauling straight men... and then LIGHTNING STRIKES.
MB: They'd have to offer a lot though.
Cat: Immunity from prosecution for a year?
MB: Cuddy: "You know all those little incidents of yours that piled up over the past year and a half and have lead to this juncture?"
House: "Yeah?"
Cuddy: "The board is willing to have amnesia about them. And if you do your very best to grit your teeth and go along with them, another six months to a year could be in the offering."
MB: Cuddy: "If you hold a dinner party, Peevy will give you his parking space."
Wilson: "He volunteered. He said the entertainment value would pay for it."
House: "O.o"
Cristin: All it takes is the right piece of bribery.
MB: Later:
House: "I can't believe it didn't occur to you to mention the obvious and gigantic flaw in this little plan."
Wilson: "Oh, no, I mentioned your inability to act civilized even under these constraints, and the likelihood of this ending in blood."
House: "I meant the other giant problem."
Wilson: "*rolls his eyes* It's one day. I'm sure you can restrain yourself from making suggestive comments about Chase's ass for one day."
House: "Hmph."
Wilson: "*grinning* Besides, you're not gay, you're just adventurous."
House: "See if I ever share my hot Cameron lesbian fantasies with you again."
SG1/House:
MB: Allow me to pause for the mental image of House getting dragged into the Stargate programs because the government went, "Who's the best diagnostician?"
"In the service, that'd b-"
"No, anywhere."
Canth: *Snerk*
Canth: That's the perfect hook to get House into any crossover.
Canth: And it works, too.
MB: Pretend for a moment that this isn't canonically impossible, what with the ded, but Janet and House, interacting.
Canth: O.O
Canth: -.-
Canth: O.O
Canth: *Rubs eyes*
Canth: There's no question. They would team up and terrorise the entire army.
MB: and then Teal'c could teach House how to use his cane as a weapon in case of emergency.
MB: ....
Canth: ... bunny?
MB: A Staff-Weapon Cane.
Canth: "Careful, or I'll blow your head off."
Canth: "... did you take too many pills this morning?"
MB: House pointing his cane at someone and them being all, "Is that supposed to be dangerous?" and then the thingies sticking out...
MB: "I did the government some favors."
MB: "I had to sign about a billion forms and promise never to let anybody get their hands on it and only to use it if there's no other choice, but what the hell."
Ghostbusters/House:
MB: Must... not... give Wilson... secretary... from Ghostbusters....
Cat: Janine!
Cat: *Is huge Ghostbusters fan*
Cristin: ...does she flirt with House all time? And wear big glasses? This scarily works for me.
Cristin: God, I'm just picturing the secretary from Ghostbusters flirting with House.
MB: careful
MB: you're very close to sending me a frightening place
MB: a frightening, frightening House/Egon place
Cristin: I... well, now I just went there.
Cristin: And my brain seems to be insisting that it would work.
Cristin: Possibly, this is because I'm very tired. ...or possibly not. I can't be sure.
Cat: My brain doesn't have a position, because it's just gaping at you.
Cat: Although now it's caught up and saying something along the lines of "College! They're fairly close to the same age, it could have been a forbidden geek liaison with possible TA/student aspects!"
MB: *runs away screaming*
Cat: You know, Columbia has an excellent medical school.
Cristin: ...oh god. Library liaisons! Going off to "study"!
I hate my brain.
Cat: Two awkward yet inexplicably attractive young men, geek chemistry, meeting of the minds meets "I'm twenty and I'm really horny", confused sexuality, mild shame combined with nonmild Geek Lust...
Cat: Oh, oh. The dim recesses of my mind that still retain some of what I learned in chem lab tell me there's a molecule whose chemical structure looks like a house. What a perfect expression of cryptic affection.
Cristin: ...yes. Yes. Possibly the ultimate geeky gay college relationship. Complete with snark and sarcasm. It bet it lasted for exactly one year. Or possibly exactly one semester.
Cat: One of them got an academic appointment elsewhere. There was no question of continuing. Or else they got into a terrible, brutal fight about light as a wave versus a particle.
Cristin: Really, it could be either. Or possibly both. And they last time they spoke to each other was in a lab.
Cat: And we know they're both way too stubborn to give in or forgive in a million years if they both thought they were right.
Cat: Maybe it was over some aspect of Ghostbuster physics. Maybe after the Gozer thing Egon got an unsigned note reading simply "Sorry."
Cristin: Ooh, I bet it was when Egon starting getting really into the paranormal, and House could do nothing but mock this new interest.
Cat: And then the big blowout was over PKE. "You're probably measuring the ambient humidity."
Cristin: It was definitely over the science used to measure supernatural activity. It had to have been.
Cristin: I can't see House putting any stock in that at all.
Cat: Nor can I see him being anywhere in the same universe as tactful about it.
Cat: Then the sarcasm became so biting it actually drew blood, in a scientific first.
Cristin: Which Egon got extremely excited about, and House insisted it was just a coincidence. Then Egon started taking measurements of the blood, and House rolled his eyes and left in disgust.
Cat: And they never spoke again, unless you count the "Sorry" note.
Cristin: And that was how it happened.
Cristin: And I can't believe we just plotted that.
Cat: And then House got the new case where the patient was persistently levitating. He spent a whole day sulking before he started looking up the New York Yellow Pages.
MB: Oh god, NOW I'M DOING IT!
Cat: Yessss.
MB: Because because he can't figure out what's really killing the patient until he clears out the supernatural stuff.
MB: I HATE YOU.
Cristin: Oh god. And then there was the extremely sulky call!
Cristin: And the awkward reunion!
Cristin: ...and possibly the jealous Wilson.
Cat: At least, at first it's INSANELY CURIOUS Wilson. Because he can sure as hell tell there's some sort of history here, and neither one of them is talking.
Cat: The Ducklings are practically hiding under the conference table when both of them are in the room because of the force of twenty years buildup of Bitter Snark.
Cat: Cameron thinks Egon is so cool and probably also hot and is constantly underfoot. Foreman is Mr. Scoff, at least until the patient nails him with a slime stream from six feet across the room. Chase is still under the conference room table.
Cristin: Or possibly Chase is digging out his old rosaries, and coming to work with five or six of them.
Cristin: There could possibly be a subplot involving Chase trying to get in touch with an old Seminary buddy who was interested in exorcisms.
Xena-Hercules Universe/House:
MB: House has serious demented crossover potential.
Cat: Yes, yes it does.
MB: We even figured out how to cross it with Xena/Hercules once.
Cat: That's a trick given the era differences.
MB: Very messed up prayer.
MB: very angry House, suddenly finding himself in ancient Greece. Mildly apologetic demigods. Shake well.
Cat: ...
MB: "What do you expect me to do?! I've got no tools, no medicine, I don't even have my staff."
*Crash!*
*thud, thud, thud, thud*
"....still don't have any tools or medicine."
Cat: I'm sure he'd be pissed. I'm pretty sure the Greeks had already discovered the potential of poppies, but nothing like a decent refinement.
Cat: *snort*
MB: Wilson: *dazed* "...House?"
House: *dementedly chipper* "Hi. Do you believe in Gods?"
Wilson: "I... I'm Jewish, what does that have to do wi-"
House: "Please note the plural."
MB: See?
MB: The snark acts as sort of an "insane situation lubricant"
Cat: Pretty much.
MB: *has thought*
House: "You know, Wilson actually isn't part of my staff."
Hermes: "Then why is he around so often?"
Aphrodite: *looks smirky*
House: "Because I am witty and irresistible."
Special Bonus: That One Dream Cat Had
Cat: The second part of the evening's dreaming activity was half House and half Back to the Future/Quantum Leap. House jumps back in time and LOOKS like his old self, but still has the leg and the pain problem. So he's trying to clandestinely get himself Vicodin and the like and not give away the limp while trying to figure out how to change history. It was amazingly lucid for all that.
MB: O.o
MB: Weeeeiiiird.
MB: Yet almost cool.
Cat:This was somewhere more than a year pre-infarction, which was part of his problem, but when you're given random time travel you usually don't have lots of options. Also, he and Wilson apparently weren't really friends then, so another part of House's problem was that Wilson was starting to get suspicious his colleague was abusing painkillers, and that wasn't a part of history he wanted to change. Sometimes my subconscious can be amazingly lucid, though as I recall it all broke down somewhere and the dream ended with something involving a zeppelin.
Cristin: Ooh, a goodfic dream. And an intriguing goodfic dream, at that. I'm very envious. I only ever get badfic dreams.
MB: Yeah, but....
MB: Now I'm craving that fic.
Cristin: Craving fic is generally not good, because you can never find what you're actually craving.
MB: I'm really doubting the chances of finding time-travel House fic.
I figured I would throw in a few other cracked-out House crossovers as well. Though the DCU ones are getting saved for another post. Yes. There's more than one DCU one. I blame poisonivory.
Farscape/House:
MB: I think he's waiting for me to do the Spectrum of Cuddy's Suits
MB: (Ranging from, "Oh, that's nice," to, "WHY, GOD, WHY?")
Cristin: I'm still trying to figure out how she doesn't get laughed out of meetings.
MB: little tiny hypnotic devices hidden in the cleavage.
Cristin: Perhaps she's like that villain on Farscape who had evil mind-controlling sweat between her breasts.
MB: Grayza...
MB: Oh lord, now I have Cuddy/Grayza in my head.
Cristin: Oh my.
MB: And yet, not the worst pairing I've been stuck with.
Cristin: Okay, now so do I.
Cristin: Scarily, it almost seems to work.
MB: Yes.
MB: They'd be scary.
MB: Men would cower.
MB: They'd enjoy that.
Cristin: Everyone would cower.
Cristin: And then they could exchange shirts, and have fun going through each other's closets.
Weeks later...
MB: I still have Cuddy/Grayza lurking about my head.
Cristin: I would dearly love to see that.
MB: It's sprouted H/W as well.
MB: House convincing Wilson they have to get together to counter the vibes of irritably sexy Cuddy/Grayza.
"In what universe is that a logical argume-"
"*grabs and snogs*"
"Oh, in that universe."
Cristin: Okay, yes.
MB: House: "You realize I'm going to have to oppose your evil and tyrannical rule and all that. Truth, justice, and the American way, yada yada."
Cuddy: "Oh please. As if you could stop fantasizing about me and her long enough to get anything done."
House: "Well, that would be true...."
Cuddy: "See?"
House: "Except Wilson and I are finally sleeping together."
Cuddy: "Huh."
House: "*smirk*"
Cuddy: "Tell you what, we'll split the planet fifty-fifty, and just because I'm feeling generous, you can have producer rights for General Hospital."
House: "I want a spaceship, too."
Cuddy: "And a spaceship, too."
House: "Deal."
Cristin: That's a rather disturbing concept. House (and Wilson) and Cuddy (and Grayza) ruling the world.
Cristin: We're doomed.
MB: Well, House/Wilson/Cuddy is my OT3 of World Domination.
MB: (Wilson gets the middle throne so he can mediate disputes.)
Cristin: They send down proclamations of snark.
MB: The Genius, The Drive, and the Really Great Cheekbones.
Cristin: Heh. Is that their slogan? It could be printed on the huge posters.
MB: (Not to put Wilson down; he'd be invaluable. He'd be the one out there talking to people and holding babies and making the populace go, "We like being ruled by a psychotic threesome, yes we do.")
Cristin: Wilson: the sane face of dictatorship.
MB: *abruptly* Good lord, Cuddy and Grayza--the Courtship.
MB: Cuddy: "She gave me Prada."
House: "You're thinking of selling out to an admittedly attractive alien for a pair of shoes?"
Cuddy: "Not Pradas--Prada. All of it. The whole line."
Cristin: Oh god. Heh, yes.
MB: Cuddy, joyriding across the Atlantic in a Prowler.
MB: And then, for your enjoyment, the mental picture of John coming home and finding all this.
Cristin: ...John's face.
MB: John: "Dad... the homeworld is being run by a bunch of lunatics."
John'sDad: "They're not so bad. I like that James Wilson. Good guy."
John'sFace: "OMGWTFBBQ"
John'sDad: "Anyway, they lowered taxes and instituted global health care."
MB: John: "Oh this has just got to be one of those frelled-up alternate reality wormhole things. Please."
Cristin: ...Jack would totally be for psychotic dictatorship of doom.
Cristin: Especially if they gave lots of money to the space program.
MB: and on Cuddy's instigation, Grayza would manage to make peace with them by giving Aeryn the coolest gun ever.
Aeryn: "Look at this, look at this, on this setting, *flips a switch* it'll only fry organics."
John: "Aeryn, it's a gun."
Aeryn: "You can use it to do the dishes!"
John: "We don't really have dishes."
Cristin: She would name the gun, and insist that the gun is better than Wynona.
Cristin: And then John and Aeryn would get heavily distracted by guns.
MB: either that, or...
"Okay, that is going too far. Sell the homeworld, sure. Suborn my father, okay. Try and lure my wife to the dark side of the force, I kind of expect that by now. But nobody, and I mean nobody, disses Wynona."
Cristin: And then John would go insane (as he's prone to do) and blow things up.
MB: House: "Hey! Stop tha--HEY."
John: "Who the hell are you?"
House: "Dr. Gregory House. Call me Greg. And stop blowing up my Game Boy factory."
John: "Y-... You're House?"
House: "Yeah, what, were you expecting someone different?"
John: "Well, you know, a li--wait, Game Boy factory?"
Cristin: Later, they would be found playing retro Donkey Kong.
MB: And Aeryn and Wilson would get together and commiserate over the difficulties of being married to demented geniuses.
MB: Aeryn: "I mean, I love him, and so I love all of him, but--"
Wilson: "When he goes on a tear..."
Aeryn: "Sometimes I just want to knock him down and sit on him. Except I've tried that and it doesn't work."
Wilson: "It doesn't? There goes that plan."
Cristin: John and Aeryn would eventually be tapped as the somewhat psychotic defense committee to the psychotic dictators.
Cristin: And together, they would all raise the most screwed up child ever in creation'
MB: Children. Grayza's already got one herself.
Cristin: True. I'd forgotten that.
MB: "CRICHTON! YOUR OFFSPRING IS TRYING TO TEETHE ON MY CANE AGAIN."
Cristin: ...if I could draw, I could turn that into fanart.
MB: "Well, it's better than one of the guns again. Come on, D'argo, leave the dictator's stick alone."
Cristin: The toddlers would eventually be banned from the throne room, because House kept accidentally hitting them with his cane.
MB: Accidentally or "accidentally"?
Cristin: Well, mostly "accidentally". But occasionally it was actually on accident!
MB: Wilson: "God you suck at parenting."
House: "Guess that means we're not having any of our own."
Wilson: "Well biology sort of took that out of our hands to begin with...."
House: "I remind you we've got scads of alien technology at our fingertips now."
Wilson: "Oh. Um. *thinks* You know I like you."
House: "I'm hoping more than just like...."
Wilson: "But not enough to gestate for you."
Cristin: But think of the publicity!
MB: Man of the Year Now Mother of the Year?
MB: Wilson: "You should do it."
House: "What?"
Wilson: "It would soften your image."
House: "...."
Cristin: A pregnant House. Now that would be scary. House on scary hormones.
MB: The Cameron in my head still has nightmares.
Cristin: Now there's a question. What are Chase, Foreman, and Cameron doing in this new world of dictatorship?
MB: Chase is fawning. That's his whole job now. He fawns. Grayza finds it amusing.
Cristin: Chase is the new Braca, only prettier and with fewer ambitions.
MB: Foreman is heavily involved in the project devoted to integrating alien tech into the present health-care system.
MB: Cameron started out there, had to shoot an assassin one day, realized she liked it, acquired her very own new black leather wardrobe, and went out to tour the universe.
MB: Every so often they receive postcards of places she's seen (and blown up).
Cristin: I bet she met up with Chiana, and they formed a partnership.
MB: I can see that Postcard.
MB: "Dear House: Met a great person. Blew up some more stuff. Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here. Love, Cameron." and on the front it's her and Chiana, and House is staring at it and Crichton wanders by, then backtracks, tilts his head, and goes, "Pip?"
Cristin: I can completely see that. Completely. And Chiana is draped over Cameron (in her low cut leather), and leering.
Cristin: And they're standing in front of smoldering ruins.
MB: and there's a card from Chiana that arrives the next day for Crichton. "Hey, I didn't know your planet made girls like her!"
Cristin: And then John promptly gets very drunk.
MB: And House wants to join him, but it would be bad for the baby.
MB: The end.
Cristin: ...and what a mental image to end on.
Minutes later....
MB: No.
MB: Stop me.
MB: I won't say it
MB: I refuse to
MB: ...
MB: House's reaction if Scorpy came for a visit.
Cristin: ...oh my god.
MB: I have no self-preservation at all, do I.
Cristin: Scorpy would, of course, have Braca in tow, which could cause strife for Cuddy/Grayza.
MB: "He looks like something that wiggled out from under a rock."
"Fair description, actually."
Cristin: And that thing with the rods? Disturbingly phallic.
MB: and of course the crazed three-eyed druglady and Rygel would swoop by eventually... except with Rygel it would be a state visit.
MB: "And I thought I had weird friends."
"Yeah, well some of my best weird friends are dead, sad to say."
Cristin: House and Rygel discussing politics.
MB: *dies*
Cristin: But Rygel would be appalled that House didn't have 10 wives (and chose to bear the children himself).
MB: "Funny, I heard a story about you...."
Cristin: *snort*
Cristin: And eventually Earth and the Hynerian Empire would develop working trade relations.
MB: Rygel: "That was an extreme circumstance."
House: "Well, consider my choices. I suppose we could have had Chase-"
Wilson: "No."
House: "No?"
Wilson: "Just... no."
MB: Grayza: "What did you say to upset my puppy?"
House: "*mouths 'Puppy?' to Wilson behind his hand, and then* He did it."
Wilson: "What?"
MB: And Wilson decides he's going to hell anyway, between everything else, and buys Grayza a jewel-studded leash and collar by way of apology.
Cristin: ...oh my god. Oh god. Bad brain! Bad!
Cristin: ...does Grayza rent Chase out as a broodmare to appease him?
MB: Maybe she lets visiting heads of state that aren't too "eaaagh" (like the Hynerians or Scarrans) borrow him.
Cristin: ...Chase. The Official Government Prostitute.
Cristin: Can't get someone to agree to the new trade agreement? Send in Chase!
MB: Cameron comes back. "What have you turned into?"
Chase: "I like to think I'm saving lives."
Cameron: "You're a government whore."
Chiana, over her shoulder: "Hey, the two aren't mutually exclusive!"
Cristin: Does Cameron come back when House is still pregnant?
MB: I... have no idea.
Cristin: I'm just picturing Cameron in tight, low-cut leather chatting with a House who's nine months pregnant.
Cristin: It's a rather disturbing image.
Daria/House:
Canth: *Tries to picture that without his brain running screaming into the night*
MB: House's new Duckling: Daria.
MB: Jane shows up at some point. "Who's that really pretty guy?"
"Chase?"
"I thought Chase was one of your coworkers. I don't know who this is."
"Oh. Doctor Wilson. He's the Head of Oncology."
"...why is the Head of another department spending so much time in this one?"
"I don't know and I don't care. Pass the salt."
MB: Ever since then, Canth and I have been picturing Daria as a Duckling.
Cat: House might actually drive her to an expression.
Cat: Besides, I always figured English Academe would drive Daria insane in about thirty seconds flat.
MB: I have a mental image... well, mental sound? of Jane visiting and the following conversation:
Jane: "But why is he there?"
Daria: "Don't know. Don't care."
Jane: "It's not like he has any reason to be there."
Daria: "He does sometimes."
Jane: "D'you think they're... y'know...."
Daria: "Don't know. Don't care."
MB: "She's like you, only completely emotionally flat."
"I know. That's why I hired her."
"Because she's just like you?"
"Because she's emotionally flat. I can get hours of entertainment out of trying to provoke an expression out of her."
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/House:
MB: All I'm saying is
MB: I don't know why someone hasn't already written the Queer Eye guys taking on House
Canth: .. *Pictures that*
Canth: Hello Doom.
Cat: I think Carson and Jai would both have big bruises over their sternums by the end of the show.
Cat: Curiously circular, too.
MB: Carson: "Is there some reason you're demanding your shoes double as highway warning signs?"
Canth: Either they'd kill him, or he'd kill them, or they'd team up and attack Cuddy's wardrobe.
MB: But! Picture them one by one meeting the other members of the extended Housefamily.
Canth: ... *Snicker*
Canth: Okay, that does have an allure to it.
Cat: It'd never ever AIR, but...
MB: Carson: "Oh my goodness."
Jai: "Who's he?"
House: "That would be Doctor Wilson. Head of Oncology."
Carson: "Did he get the position for the cheekbones or for the lips?"
House: "Confidentially I've always suspected it was his ass that did it."
Everybody: "*looks over at House*"
House: "*looks back*"
Kyan: "Are you sure you're straight?"
House: "I am not sure of anything but death, taxes, and the willed stupidity of the human race."
Jai: "That sounded like an evasion."
House: "Yes, it was! And it only took you a minute to spot it. Your mother must be so proud."
Canth: Do Foreman!
Canth: And Cameron!
Canth: Or hell, all of the Ducklings at once.
MB: Foreman would be...
Carson: "Ted!"
Ted: "Where the hell is the sugar in here? What?"
Carson: "Chocolate cake at ten o'clock."
Canth: *Snerk*
MB: Thom: "*looks around House's office* I have nothing to do here."
Cat: I don't know. I can see them having a fight over the windsock lamp.
MB: Oh, once Thom saw his, "I picked out a couple whole furniture displays at the store and took them all, accessories included," home....
Cat: Yes, but still. Although I've seen some of his decorating innovations and some were worse than the windsock.
MB: And all five of them descending on Cameron.
MB: Carson: "Oh honey. No."
Cameron: "What?"
Carson: "Ix-nay on the orals-flay."
Cameron: "But-"
Jai: "*rests hands on her shoulders* Trust him. He knows what he's doing."
MB: Chase would be....
Kyan: "There's attractively floppy. And then there's that."
Chase: "But it-"
Kyan: "It looks like it's eating your face."
Thom: "And as soon as Carson catches sight of you, he will rip that shirt off your back and burn it on the spot."
Kyan: "This will be fun on many levels."
Chase: "O.o"
MB: At House's home:
Ted: "There are like three things in this fridge. Beer, lettuce, cheese, and an orange. Just one orange. Just one lonely orange. It's good cheese, though."
House: "It's Wilson's cheese."
Everybody: "*pause*"
Ted: "You're sure you're not gay."
House: "*disgusted* Yes."
Carson: "Are you sure he's not, too?"
MB: House: "If you touch any of the t-shirts, I do know a hundred ways to kill you without implicating myself."
Carson: "Oh honey, I respect your t-shirts. That's one of the best collections I've ever seen."
House: "Good."
Carson: "I did burn all your turtlenecks."
House: "O.o"
Carson: "Trust me. It's for your own good."
Cat: I'm trying to decide if they'd be immune to Cuddy and the Death Glare Power Cleavage ultimate combo move.
MB: Carson: "When I met you earlier you were so great, Dr. Cuddy. And now this. This, this, this, this. Are there two of you? Is this the evil twin?"
House: "*'huh, that would explain a lot,' look*"
Cat: XD
Cat: Tom says there should be in the fridge also an emergency bottle of Vicodin taped above the icemaker.
MB: that's really the freezer.
MB: the freezer is fully stocked.
Cat: Ahhhh.
MB: the freezer is mecca
MB: House is at one with his microwave oven.
Cat: I hesitate to ask fully stocked with what.
Cat: ...Although actually I bet he knows where to buy gourmet and FROZEN.
Cristin: http://www.homebistro.com/ - for all your frozen gourmet needs
MB: Yes.
MB: Or he gets good takeout and loves his vacuum sealer.
Cat: I'm sure Ted will rip him a new one anyway though, since microwaves do funky things to food.
Cat: Say, every episode of Queer Eye has a purpose. The straight guy is transforming himself to kick-start his love life, celebrate an anniversary, propose, ask his girlfriend to move in, whatever.
Cat: Why have the Fab Five been called in?
MB: I keep wanting to say, "To socialize the bastard so Cuddy can stop worrying about the next billionaire he'll alienate."
Cat: *is not actually sure that the straight guy has to explicitly agree to these things* Isn't actually usually someone else who applies for him? Mother or girlfriend?
MB: It would seem no: http://www.thequeereye.com/Be_on_the_Show/
Cat: But yeah, House'd have to... like, put on a dinner or something. They ALWAYS make the straight guy entertain, even if he's spiffing up for an event elsewhere.
MB: ....
MB: how much does the board hate him, I wonder, and are any of them this imaginative?
Cat: I can imagine Dr. YA THINK?! probably has had time to think about it.
MB: House: "Well, am I suspended?"
Cuddy: "Not... yet."
House: "That sounds ominous. The way Wilson is trying not to grin is more ominous."
Cuddy: "I thought you were toast. I really did."
Wilson: "Peevy had an idea."
Cuddy: "Half the board instantly loved it. They talked the other half around."
Wilson: "I'm... still not sure how."
Cuddy: "Neither am I."
Wilson: "They are right. It could be really good press."
Cuddy: "Could be. I don't trust him to behave."
House: "I have this strange sinking fee--oop, no, just indigestion."
Cat: I can see the man sitting with his wife unwillingly watching TV. He doesn't want to watch Bravo, but she does, and it's her turn with the remote. He's watching these fairies prance around mauling straight men... and then LIGHTNING STRIKES.
MB: They'd have to offer a lot though.
Cat: Immunity from prosecution for a year?
MB: Cuddy: "You know all those little incidents of yours that piled up over the past year and a half and have lead to this juncture?"
House: "Yeah?"
Cuddy: "The board is willing to have amnesia about them. And if you do your very best to grit your teeth and go along with them, another six months to a year could be in the offering."
MB: Cuddy: "If you hold a dinner party, Peevy will give you his parking space."
Wilson: "He volunteered. He said the entertainment value would pay for it."
House: "O.o"
Cristin: All it takes is the right piece of bribery.
MB: Later:
House: "I can't believe it didn't occur to you to mention the obvious and gigantic flaw in this little plan."
Wilson: "Oh, no, I mentioned your inability to act civilized even under these constraints, and the likelihood of this ending in blood."
House: "I meant the other giant problem."
Wilson: "*rolls his eyes* It's one day. I'm sure you can restrain yourself from making suggestive comments about Chase's ass for one day."
House: "Hmph."
Wilson: "*grinning* Besides, you're not gay, you're just adventurous."
House: "See if I ever share my hot Cameron lesbian fantasies with you again."
SG1/House:
MB: Allow me to pause for the mental image of House getting dragged into the Stargate programs because the government went, "Who's the best diagnostician?"
"In the service, that'd b-"
"No, anywhere."
Canth: *Snerk*
Canth: That's the perfect hook to get House into any crossover.
Canth: And it works, too.
MB: Pretend for a moment that this isn't canonically impossible, what with the ded, but Janet and House, interacting.
Canth: O.O
Canth: -.-
Canth: O.O
Canth: *Rubs eyes*
Canth: There's no question. They would team up and terrorise the entire army.
MB: and then Teal'c could teach House how to use his cane as a weapon in case of emergency.
MB: ....
Canth: ... bunny?
MB: A Staff-Weapon Cane.
Canth: "Careful, or I'll blow your head off."
Canth: "... did you take too many pills this morning?"
MB: House pointing his cane at someone and them being all, "Is that supposed to be dangerous?" and then the thingies sticking out...
MB: "I did the government some favors."
MB: "I had to sign about a billion forms and promise never to let anybody get their hands on it and only to use it if there's no other choice, but what the hell."
Ghostbusters/House:
MB: Must... not... give Wilson... secretary... from Ghostbusters....
Cat: Janine!
Cat: *Is huge Ghostbusters fan*
Cristin: ...does she flirt with House all time? And wear big glasses? This scarily works for me.
Cristin: God, I'm just picturing the secretary from Ghostbusters flirting with House.
MB: careful
MB: you're very close to sending me a frightening place
MB: a frightening, frightening House/Egon place
Cristin: I... well, now I just went there.
Cristin: And my brain seems to be insisting that it would work.
Cristin: Possibly, this is because I'm very tired. ...or possibly not. I can't be sure.
Cat: My brain doesn't have a position, because it's just gaping at you.
Cat: Although now it's caught up and saying something along the lines of "College! They're fairly close to the same age, it could have been a forbidden geek liaison with possible TA/student aspects!"
MB: *runs away screaming*
Cat: You know, Columbia has an excellent medical school.
Cristin: ...oh god. Library liaisons! Going off to "study"!
I hate my brain.
Cat: Two awkward yet inexplicably attractive young men, geek chemistry, meeting of the minds meets "I'm twenty and I'm really horny", confused sexuality, mild shame combined with nonmild Geek Lust...
Cat: Oh, oh. The dim recesses of my mind that still retain some of what I learned in chem lab tell me there's a molecule whose chemical structure looks like a house. What a perfect expression of cryptic affection.
Cristin: ...yes. Yes. Possibly the ultimate geeky gay college relationship. Complete with snark and sarcasm. It bet it lasted for exactly one year. Or possibly exactly one semester.
Cat: One of them got an academic appointment elsewhere. There was no question of continuing. Or else they got into a terrible, brutal fight about light as a wave versus a particle.
Cristin: Really, it could be either. Or possibly both. And they last time they spoke to each other was in a lab.
Cat: And we know they're both way too stubborn to give in or forgive in a million years if they both thought they were right.
Cat: Maybe it was over some aspect of Ghostbuster physics. Maybe after the Gozer thing Egon got an unsigned note reading simply "Sorry."
Cristin: Ooh, I bet it was when Egon starting getting really into the paranormal, and House could do nothing but mock this new interest.
Cat: And then the big blowout was over PKE. "You're probably measuring the ambient humidity."
Cristin: It was definitely over the science used to measure supernatural activity. It had to have been.
Cristin: I can't see House putting any stock in that at all.
Cat: Nor can I see him being anywhere in the same universe as tactful about it.
Cat: Then the sarcasm became so biting it actually drew blood, in a scientific first.
Cristin: Which Egon got extremely excited about, and House insisted it was just a coincidence. Then Egon started taking measurements of the blood, and House rolled his eyes and left in disgust.
Cat: And they never spoke again, unless you count the "Sorry" note.
Cristin: And that was how it happened.
Cristin: And I can't believe we just plotted that.
Cat: And then House got the new case where the patient was persistently levitating. He spent a whole day sulking before he started looking up the New York Yellow Pages.
MB: Oh god, NOW I'M DOING IT!
Cat: Yessss.
MB: Because because he can't figure out what's really killing the patient until he clears out the supernatural stuff.
MB: I HATE YOU.
Cristin: Oh god. And then there was the extremely sulky call!
Cristin: And the awkward reunion!
Cristin: ...and possibly the jealous Wilson.
Cat: At least, at first it's INSANELY CURIOUS Wilson. Because he can sure as hell tell there's some sort of history here, and neither one of them is talking.
Cat: The Ducklings are practically hiding under the conference table when both of them are in the room because of the force of twenty years buildup of Bitter Snark.
Cat: Cameron thinks Egon is so cool and probably also hot and is constantly underfoot. Foreman is Mr. Scoff, at least until the patient nails him with a slime stream from six feet across the room. Chase is still under the conference room table.
Cristin: Or possibly Chase is digging out his old rosaries, and coming to work with five or six of them.
Cristin: There could possibly be a subplot involving Chase trying to get in touch with an old Seminary buddy who was interested in exorcisms.
Xena-Hercules Universe/House:
MB: House has serious demented crossover potential.
Cat: Yes, yes it does.
MB: We even figured out how to cross it with Xena/Hercules once.
Cat: That's a trick given the era differences.
MB: Very messed up prayer.
MB: very angry House, suddenly finding himself in ancient Greece. Mildly apologetic demigods. Shake well.
Cat: ...
MB: "What do you expect me to do?! I've got no tools, no medicine, I don't even have my staff."
*Crash!*
*thud, thud, thud, thud*
"....still don't have any tools or medicine."
Cat: I'm sure he'd be pissed. I'm pretty sure the Greeks had already discovered the potential of poppies, but nothing like a decent refinement.
Cat: *snort*
MB: Wilson: *dazed* "...House?"
House: *dementedly chipper* "Hi. Do you believe in Gods?"
Wilson: "I... I'm Jewish, what does that have to do wi-"
House: "Please note the plural."
MB: See?
MB: The snark acts as sort of an "insane situation lubricant"
Cat: Pretty much.
MB: *has thought*
House: "You know, Wilson actually isn't part of my staff."
Hermes: "Then why is he around so often?"
Aphrodite: *looks smirky*
House: "Because I am witty and irresistible."
Special Bonus: That One Dream Cat Had
Cat: The second part of the evening's dreaming activity was half House and half Back to the Future/Quantum Leap. House jumps back in time and LOOKS like his old self, but still has the leg and the pain problem. So he's trying to clandestinely get himself Vicodin and the like and not give away the limp while trying to figure out how to change history. It was amazingly lucid for all that.
MB: O.o
MB: Weeeeiiiird.
MB: Yet almost cool.
Cat:This was somewhere more than a year pre-infarction, which was part of his problem, but when you're given random time travel you usually don't have lots of options. Also, he and Wilson apparently weren't really friends then, so another part of House's problem was that Wilson was starting to get suspicious his colleague was abusing painkillers, and that wasn't a part of history he wanted to change. Sometimes my subconscious can be amazingly lucid, though as I recall it all broke down somewhere and the dream ended with something involving a zeppelin.
Cristin: Ooh, a goodfic dream. And an intriguing goodfic dream, at that. I'm very envious. I only ever get badfic dreams.
MB: Yeah, but....
MB: Now I'm craving that fic.
Cristin: Craving fic is generally not good, because you can never find what you're actually craving.
MB: I'm really doubting the chances of finding time-travel House fic.