Cracked-Out Crossover Theater : House/DCU x 3
A Key:
MB: m_butterfly
Rhi: cheshireempress
Deanna: azarias
Maire: rosaleendhu
Cristin: ladysorka
PI: poisonivory
Susan: zombiehamster
Karen: notassuch
Session One: In which someone else is secretly Tim Drake.
MB: Okay, if I knew DCU better than passingly?
MB: I would write that.
MB: Wilson is secretly Tim Drake.
Rhi: YES!
Deanna: Who grew up and went to med school.
Deanna: And died his hair.
MB: All grown up and trying desperately to be the good little oncologist much the same way he once tried desperately to be the good little Robin
Deanna: And became Jewish.
MB: Details, details.
Maire: thats a cover
Deanna: Explains how he gets along with House so well, really.
Deanna: Given the types he grew up around.
MB: (And never had the whole War Games arc happen. He and his parents instead changed their names and religions and stuff and moved to another state.)
MB: (Bonus: Steph isn't dead.)
Rhi: But wouldn't that require him getting along with his parents?
Maire: Steph is the first exwife
MB: well he was trying, wasn't he, when he briefly quit Robining?
Rhi: He was trying, but it wasn't happening because there was just nothing there to build on.
Deanna: Wasn't his mom dead by then?
Rhi: And yeah, he was trying with his dad and step-mother.
Rhi: Who was barely ten years older than Tim, IIRC.
MB: and one might get the sense that Wilson's familial relationships are brittle as hell anyway. Though what about the confusing brother thing?
Rhi: Dick Grayson?
MB: YES!
MB: yes, and the other brother is his half-brother, but....
Rhi: Dick finally got sick of the shadow of the Bat.
MB: not necessarily, that could be why they don't speak anymore, because they had one last terrible spat about the Batthingie...
MB: Or maybe not...
MB: (See? I know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to be able to convincingly pull it off.)
Rhi: Yes, but it seems very much that the brother had the falling-out with the family, and Wilson was the only one who saw him.
Deanna: My understanding of Dick is that you'd have to break him hard to break him of the bat.
Rhi: Of course, I haven't seen Histories, so I think I'm coming from exactly your opposite angle.
MB: *has an incredibly brief and bizarre mental image of Bruce playing Wilson!father and the two brothers being Robins past and present*
MB: *brain breaks*
Rhi: And yeah, you'd have to break him hard. I'm not sure it could be done. Maybe Dick was the last member of the batclan to let go of Wilson!Tim?
Deanna: So Tim!Wilson left and Dick half-heartedly tried to keep up with him over the years, but they just drifted off?
Maire: *offers ductape after using it herself*
Deanna: Brainmerge.
MB: and House having met the whole batclan and just not knowing. *tinkle*
Rhi: I need sugar. Back in a minute.
Deanna: Or House confronting Wilson about why an unreasonably attractive and flexible-looking middle-aged man has been stalking Wilson recently.
MB: *mutters* or Kon.
Deanna: 'cause, dude, Bat-stealth vs. House's observatory skills?
Deanna: Deathmatch.
MB: Or Bart.
Deanna: ... No.
Deanna: My brain can't handle Bart around any of the House crew.
Maire: Yes!
Maire: It's a thing of beauty!
MB: I just keep picturing someone running into him and going, "Tim!"
MB: "*bleat* I have no idea who you're talking about."
MB: "O.o"
MB: House: ">.>"
MB: Bart... around House... would be... kind of like Bart around Batman... only it would end with House and him doing something very fun and possibly illegal.
Deanna: ...
Maire: thing of beauty
MB: No wonder she needed sugar.
Deanna: Well, Bart would be ... How old is Wilson?
Deanna: Bart would be 30-something.
Deanna: Think he would've mellowed?
Cristin has entered the room.
MB: *clings to Cristin*
Cristin: Heya
MB: God help us, we're planning a 'Wilson is Tim Drake' fic
Cristin: ...
MB: and it works
Cristin: Well, he's, uh, certainly messed up enough.
Maire: MB, you're gonna post this to your lj, right?
Deanna: And scare fandom?
Maire: scare, scar, is there really a difference?
MB: (I AM PICTURING SUPERMAN HOVERING OUTSIDE THE BALCONY. PLEASE SEND HELP OR PIE.)
Cristin: *sends pie*
MB: And House being all, "omgwtfsuperman."
Deanna: I'd want to see Supes vs. Cuddy.
MB: And Wilson going, ">.> <.<"
MB: "No. I don't know him. I don't know why he's here. Um. *sidles out*"
Cristin: *wants House/DCU so bad now*
Deanna: You know, it's a rule of superhero crossovers that Our Heroes must fight each other for fanboy approval before they cooperate.
Deanna: When I say I want to see Superman vs. Cuddy, I mean that literally.
Rhi: Cuddy wins by default due to extreme boy-scoutishness.
MB: "I wouldn't have called you Boy Wonder if I'd known you actually were."
MB: "Why?"
MB: "Because it's less funny when it's true."
Cristin: *snort* That line is rather a requirement, isn't it.
Rhi: Y'know, after Batman? I could see House being a figure of comfort.
Deanna: Wilson trying to explain to House that he wasn't one of the green panties Robins.
Rhi: House: "Panties, tights, what's the difference?"
Cristin: House wouldn't care. He'd make panties jokes anyway.
MB: and Wilson angsting about how his job was/is a way of helping people that doesn't involve costumes or dark alleyways or supervillians.
MB: "Except Vogler."
MB: "House, shut up."
Deanna: And at the end, House gets a Batcane.
Cristin: ...does the Batcane have special extending weapons?
MB: And the obligatory conversations with Bruce where Bruce's side of things consists only of, "*grim*"
MB: I'm blaming this all on you, Deanna.
Deanna: I didn't do it.
Deanna: I have witnesses.
Deanna: It was the ice cream.
MB: The ice cream did it, the ice cream made you do it, or you did it for the ice cream?
Session Two: In which Tim gets a childhood, Cuddy gets a headache, House and Wilson have carlove, and PI is to blame.
MB: Susan offered to have your babies.
Maire: whose babies?
MB: PI's babies.
PI: Really? Why?
MB: Your DCU/House crossover.
PI: Yay! I'm glad it was enjoyable. Wrangling all those characters was not fun.
PI: In my mind they switch patients in exasperation halfway through
PI: Kon doesn't change his behavior ONE IOTA when Chase is his doctor, Cassie and Cameron become BFF, Foreman flees from Bart in sheer terror, and House makes Tim cry. MUAHAHA.
Cristin: ...*strangely wants to see House make Tim cry*
Maire: Wow. Tim crying. That's just impressive.
Susan: Holy vicodin, Batman! That was yours?
Susan: *fangirls* I will totally forgo the womb spike implantation to have a zillion of your babies.
PI: *blushes* Aw, thanks!
MB: So who ends up handling Bart? Cuddy?
MB: ...and we all pause for images.
Cristin: ...
MB: Bart: *zips around Cuddy's office and babbles*
MB: Cuddy: "Urge... to kill..."
MB: Bart: *zipbabble*
MB: Cuddy: "SIT! DOWN!"
MB: Bart: *comes to a halt bolt upright on one sofa*
PI: I have this sudden mental image of him falling in love with her and being TOTALLY OBEDIENT
PI: Either that or terrified and TOTALLY OBEDIENT
Cat: I think she hit him with her briefcase.
Susan: Cuddy has powers.
PI: She does
MB: and House and Tim would be...
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: *stare*
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: *stare*
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: "Wanna play with my Gameboy?"
MB: Tim: O.o
Cristin: *snerk*
MB: This is leading to an odd mental image where House invites Tim to visit any time, and Tim... does.
MB: And gets a second first childhood.
Cristin: House teaches him yo-yo tricks.
MB: Wilson: "Why has there been a teenage boy hanging around here more often than usual?"
MB: Foreman: *mouthing, "More than usual?"*
MB: House: "Illegitimate child. Cheaper than child support."
Cristin: And then they'd all sit there wondering who the mother was.
MB: And Tim would be, like, "You mean there's a profession where obsessively noting every detail, disobeying authority, and violating the privacy of other people is okay?"
MB: and House would go, "Well... it works for me."
MB: and then Tim would manipulate Bruce into paying for his medical degree by bringing up Thomas Wayne. The end.
Cristin: And then Tim would become the official doctor of the league and get to have fun badgering superheros and poking them with needles.
Susan: ...hm. I'm not even seeing this as having a plot. In my brain a Batmobile pulls up to the hospital and all the Bats climb out, like clowns in a clowncar.
Susan: *pokebrain*
MB: Tim: *wins Wilson over by bringing him his coffee exactly how he takes it*
MB: Wilson: *squelches vaguely stalked feeling*
MB: Wilson: *suspiciously* "He knows how I take my coffee."
MB: House: "I know how you take your coffee."
MB: Wilson: "And you've known me how long? I'm not even sure of this kid's last name."
MB: House: "Drake. And I knew immediately after I met you."
MB: Wilson: "...oh my god. He really is your illegitimate child. You're raising a miniHouse!"
MB: And thereafter that's how he would occasionally get refered to.
MB: Chase: "Where's Minihouse?"
MB: Cameron: "He has a name!"
MB: Chase: *eyeroll* "Okay, where's Tim Minihouse?"
MB: Cameron: "He said he had a... thing."
MB: Foreman: *pokes his head in* "Giant robot attacking Gotham."
MB: Chase & Cameron: ".... Nah."
Cristin: *snort*
Maire: XD
MB: House: "Are you by any chance a masked superhero?"
MB: Tim: *goes very still* "Why would you think that?"
MB: House: "I don't know, just the odd way you vanish when there's a crisis on, the injuries, the obsessive noting of details, the fact you look just like Robin except for the mask bit and if I cut a wee mask out of paper and hold it up like this...."
MB: Tim: "...that doesn't prove anything!"
MB: House: "What's the Batmobile like? I mean, really? 'Cause it looks awesome."
MB: Tim: "...which one?"
Maire: *sniggers*
Maire: theirloveissocarbased!
MB: House: *sidles over to Wilson*
MB: Wilson: "What? I'm busy."
MB: House: "You need to come to the basement."
MB: Wilson: "I'm busy."
MB: House: "If they're not dying, this is more important."
MB: Wilson: "If I go, will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?"
MB: House: "Yes."
MB: Wilson: "Fine."
MB: *five minutes later*
MB: Wilson: "Omigod."
MB: House: "Yep."
MB: Wilson: "Omigod."
MB: House: "Yep."
MB: Wilson: "It's... it's... omigod."
MB: House: "A Batmobile. Not the Batmobile, because it turns out there are many. But a Batmobile."
MB: Wilson: "Omigod. Who did you have to... not kill or kill or lie for or blow to get this?"
MB: House: "Oddly nobody. Though Batman is on my very short list of people I would...."
MB: Wilson: *pausing in looking at the car* "Which bit?"
MB: House: "Well I'll not kill or kill or lie for just about anyone, won't I?"
PI: *dying so hard over here* What have I wrought?
Susan: Ooh! Ooh! Can the Joker show up and kidnap someone and then Batman and Robin cameo as well and Oracle hijacks the computers and Nightwing *breathe* stands around being pretty and flexible can we can we?
MB: ...You would write a good Impulse.
Susan: *nodnodnod*
PI: Cameron so falls in love with Dick. Which would be SO BAD for both of them. Because she would want to FIX him and he would want to LET her and Babs would GLARE and it would be wonderful
Susan: That's so true! But he'd still be the least-unhealthy relationship she's had.
Susan: And she wouldn't be the worst one he's had either.
PI: *rethinks* It would end explosively but in the long run be very good for both of them. The way Kory was good for Dick.
MB: And House would make suggestive comments about flexible men.
Susan: Ooh. Can Roy show up and sleep with everyone?
PI: I think that should be in every fic ever. Roy shows up and sleeps with everyone.
PI: (Especially since I just watched an episode of Toon Titans where Speedy takes care of a bunch of missiles aimed at the city by firing himself from a giant slingshot and STRADDLING THE MISSILES AND RIDING THEM INTO EACH OTHER HEAD ON)
PI: (It was quite filthy.)
Susan: Ooh! And Superman can show up one day!
Cristin: *is still laughing so hard*
PI: I'm just seeing Chase's face when he meets Kory. *giggles*
Susan: zomg! Cameron would get over Dick and try to fix Batman.
Susan: And FAIL.
Susan: She would put on a costume, too.
MB: And Wilson is wandering around thinking to himself, "Would I blow Batman? I mean, he's not on my would not blow list. But I don't know--I mean, he's iconic and all, but a bit...."
MB: House: *reading Wilson's thoughts* "You would blow Superman."
MB: Wilson: "I would not!"
MB: House: "Oh yes you would. The paragon of American goodness. You'd be on your knees in second flat."
MB: Wilson: "I-I would not."
MB: House: "..."
MB: Wilson: "All right, mostly that's because I can't even put Superman and sex into the same sentence."
Cristin: *snort*
Maire: Wilson is a failure as a fanboy?
MB: House: "...you know, you're right. He's too wholesome, like... like...."
MB: Wilson: "Apple pie?"
MB: House: "...we need to have a movie marathon this weekend."
MB: Wilson: *aghast* "Someone corrupted apple pie?"
MB: House: "Oh yeah."
Maire: *On the side, Batman angsts about apple pie again*
Session Three: In which there are BOOBIES.
Karen: So how did Power Girl intrude into your House discussion? I ask only because I'm left with the image of House trying to diagnose her... and yeah.
PI: *gigglesnort* That would be amazing
Cristin: ...it would be an entire episode of leering.
Cristin: And him bringing in Wilson.
Cristin: And just... staring.
MB: Powergirl: *crosses her arms*
MB: House and Wilson: Homigod.
Cristin: One of them would suggest they have her bronzed.
Karen: Cameron would suggest a reduction, and everyone else would hit her with things.
Karen: Even Cuddy.
Karen: ... esp. Cuddy.
MB: Cameron: "You do know that modern medicine has new, less invasive methods of breast reduc--OW"
Susan: The Power-cleavage would get into a fight with Cuddy's cleavage.
Cristin: I... wow. I just got an insanely powerful mental image of their breasts slapping each other.
Karen: PG's breasts might even attack Cameron. In self defense.
Cristin: ...it makes my chest hurt.
Karen: (House and Wilson are very happy men, at this point in the scene, I think.)
MB: Cameron would spend all day trying to find out who hit her.
MB: And discover, to her shock, it was Foreman.
MB: "That's so... that's so... sexist!"
MB: "I know, I know. But it would be a fundamental betrayal of my gender not to try and keep those in the world."
Susan: *snicker* Teyla, Cuddy and PG need to be in a room together one day.
Susan: I see it as the multiverse just randomly dumping them together on sages_of_chaos.
Susan: Teyla: My people will not be pleased about this.
Karen: ...I was going to say something about dumping them all in a shower, but I think that's just my brain being broken now.
MB: (If you ask her, she might write it anyway.)
Deanna: Is this the translation of "my people" that means her breasts?
Susan: Yes.
MB: I'm picturing Power Girl throwing an arm around each of them and beaming.
MB: (Elsewhere:
MB: House and Wilson: Homigod.)
MB: m_butterfly
Rhi: cheshireempress
Deanna: azarias
Maire: rosaleendhu
Cristin: ladysorka
PI: poisonivory
Susan: zombiehamster
Karen: notassuch
Session One: In which someone else is secretly Tim Drake.
MB: Okay, if I knew DCU better than passingly?
MB: I would write that.
MB: Wilson is secretly Tim Drake.
Rhi: YES!
Deanna: Who grew up and went to med school.
Deanna: And died his hair.
MB: All grown up and trying desperately to be the good little oncologist much the same way he once tried desperately to be the good little Robin
Deanna: And became Jewish.
MB: Details, details.
Maire: thats a cover
Deanna: Explains how he gets along with House so well, really.
Deanna: Given the types he grew up around.
MB: (And never had the whole War Games arc happen. He and his parents instead changed their names and religions and stuff and moved to another state.)
MB: (Bonus: Steph isn't dead.)
Rhi: But wouldn't that require him getting along with his parents?
Maire: Steph is the first exwife
MB: well he was trying, wasn't he, when he briefly quit Robining?
Rhi: He was trying, but it wasn't happening because there was just nothing there to build on.
Deanna: Wasn't his mom dead by then?
Rhi: And yeah, he was trying with his dad and step-mother.
Rhi: Who was barely ten years older than Tim, IIRC.
MB: and one might get the sense that Wilson's familial relationships are brittle as hell anyway. Though what about the confusing brother thing?
Rhi: Dick Grayson?
MB: YES!
MB: yes, and the other brother is his half-brother, but....
Rhi: Dick finally got sick of the shadow of the Bat.
MB: not necessarily, that could be why they don't speak anymore, because they had one last terrible spat about the Batthingie...
MB: Or maybe not...
MB: (See? I know just enough to be dangerous, but not enough to be able to convincingly pull it off.)
Rhi: Yes, but it seems very much that the brother had the falling-out with the family, and Wilson was the only one who saw him.
Deanna: My understanding of Dick is that you'd have to break him hard to break him of the bat.
Rhi: Of course, I haven't seen Histories, so I think I'm coming from exactly your opposite angle.
MB: *has an incredibly brief and bizarre mental image of Bruce playing Wilson!father and the two brothers being Robins past and present*
MB: *brain breaks*
Rhi: And yeah, you'd have to break him hard. I'm not sure it could be done. Maybe Dick was the last member of the batclan to let go of Wilson!Tim?
Deanna: So Tim!Wilson left and Dick half-heartedly tried to keep up with him over the years, but they just drifted off?
Maire: *offers ductape after using it herself*
Deanna: Brainmerge.
MB: and House having met the whole batclan and just not knowing. *tinkle*
Rhi: I need sugar. Back in a minute.
Deanna: Or House confronting Wilson about why an unreasonably attractive and flexible-looking middle-aged man has been stalking Wilson recently.
MB: *mutters* or Kon.
Deanna: 'cause, dude, Bat-stealth vs. House's observatory skills?
Deanna: Deathmatch.
MB: Or Bart.
Deanna: ... No.
Deanna: My brain can't handle Bart around any of the House crew.
Maire: Yes!
Maire: It's a thing of beauty!
MB: I just keep picturing someone running into him and going, "Tim!"
MB: "*bleat* I have no idea who you're talking about."
MB: "O.o"
MB: House: ">.>"
MB: Bart... around House... would be... kind of like Bart around Batman... only it would end with House and him doing something very fun and possibly illegal.
Deanna: ...
Maire: thing of beauty
MB: No wonder she needed sugar.
Deanna: Well, Bart would be ... How old is Wilson?
Deanna: Bart would be 30-something.
Deanna: Think he would've mellowed?
Cristin has entered the room.
MB: *clings to Cristin*
Cristin: Heya
MB: God help us, we're planning a 'Wilson is Tim Drake' fic
Cristin: ...
MB: and it works
Cristin: Well, he's, uh, certainly messed up enough.
Maire: MB, you're gonna post this to your lj, right?
Deanna: And scare fandom?
Maire: scare, scar, is there really a difference?
MB: (I AM PICTURING SUPERMAN HOVERING OUTSIDE THE BALCONY. PLEASE SEND HELP OR PIE.)
Cristin: *sends pie*
MB: And House being all, "omgwtfsuperman."
Deanna: I'd want to see Supes vs. Cuddy.
MB: And Wilson going, ">.> <.<"
MB: "No. I don't know him. I don't know why he's here. Um. *sidles out*"
Cristin: *wants House/DCU so bad now*
Deanna: You know, it's a rule of superhero crossovers that Our Heroes must fight each other for fanboy approval before they cooperate.
Deanna: When I say I want to see Superman vs. Cuddy, I mean that literally.
Rhi: Cuddy wins by default due to extreme boy-scoutishness.
MB: "I wouldn't have called you Boy Wonder if I'd known you actually were."
MB: "Why?"
MB: "Because it's less funny when it's true."
Cristin: *snort* That line is rather a requirement, isn't it.
Rhi: Y'know, after Batman? I could see House being a figure of comfort.
Deanna: Wilson trying to explain to House that he wasn't one of the green panties Robins.
Rhi: House: "Panties, tights, what's the difference?"
Cristin: House wouldn't care. He'd make panties jokes anyway.
MB: and Wilson angsting about how his job was/is a way of helping people that doesn't involve costumes or dark alleyways or supervillians.
MB: "Except Vogler."
MB: "House, shut up."
Deanna: And at the end, House gets a Batcane.
Cristin: ...does the Batcane have special extending weapons?
MB: And the obligatory conversations with Bruce where Bruce's side of things consists only of, "*grim*"
MB: I'm blaming this all on you, Deanna.
Deanna: I didn't do it.
Deanna: I have witnesses.
Deanna: It was the ice cream.
MB: The ice cream did it, the ice cream made you do it, or you did it for the ice cream?
Session Two: In which Tim gets a childhood, Cuddy gets a headache, House and Wilson have carlove, and PI is to blame.
MB: Susan offered to have your babies.
Maire: whose babies?
MB: PI's babies.
PI: Really? Why?
MB: Your DCU/House crossover.
PI: Yay! I'm glad it was enjoyable. Wrangling all those characters was not fun.
PI: In my mind they switch patients in exasperation halfway through
PI: Kon doesn't change his behavior ONE IOTA when Chase is his doctor, Cassie and Cameron become BFF, Foreman flees from Bart in sheer terror, and House makes Tim cry. MUAHAHA.
Cristin: ...*strangely wants to see House make Tim cry*
Maire: Wow. Tim crying. That's just impressive.
Susan: Holy vicodin, Batman! That was yours?
Susan: *fangirls* I will totally forgo the womb spike implantation to have a zillion of your babies.
PI: *blushes* Aw, thanks!
MB: So who ends up handling Bart? Cuddy?
MB: ...and we all pause for images.
Cristin: ...
MB: Bart: *zips around Cuddy's office and babbles*
MB: Cuddy: "Urge... to kill..."
MB: Bart: *zipbabble*
MB: Cuddy: "SIT! DOWN!"
MB: Bart: *comes to a halt bolt upright on one sofa*
PI: I have this sudden mental image of him falling in love with her and being TOTALLY OBEDIENT
PI: Either that or terrified and TOTALLY OBEDIENT
Cat: I think she hit him with her briefcase.
Susan: Cuddy has powers.
PI: She does
MB: and House and Tim would be...
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: *stare*
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: *stare*
MB: Tim: *stare*
MB: House: "Wanna play with my Gameboy?"
MB: Tim: O.o
Cristin: *snerk*
MB: This is leading to an odd mental image where House invites Tim to visit any time, and Tim... does.
MB: And gets a second first childhood.
Cristin: House teaches him yo-yo tricks.
MB: Wilson: "Why has there been a teenage boy hanging around here more often than usual?"
MB: Foreman: *mouthing, "More than usual?"*
MB: House: "Illegitimate child. Cheaper than child support."
Cristin: And then they'd all sit there wondering who the mother was.
MB: And Tim would be, like, "You mean there's a profession where obsessively noting every detail, disobeying authority, and violating the privacy of other people is okay?"
MB: and House would go, "Well... it works for me."
MB: and then Tim would manipulate Bruce into paying for his medical degree by bringing up Thomas Wayne. The end.
Cristin: And then Tim would become the official doctor of the league and get to have fun badgering superheros and poking them with needles.
Susan: ...hm. I'm not even seeing this as having a plot. In my brain a Batmobile pulls up to the hospital and all the Bats climb out, like clowns in a clowncar.
Susan: *pokebrain*
MB: Tim: *wins Wilson over by bringing him his coffee exactly how he takes it*
MB: Wilson: *squelches vaguely stalked feeling*
MB: Wilson: *suspiciously* "He knows how I take my coffee."
MB: House: "I know how you take your coffee."
MB: Wilson: "And you've known me how long? I'm not even sure of this kid's last name."
MB: House: "Drake. And I knew immediately after I met you."
MB: Wilson: "...oh my god. He really is your illegitimate child. You're raising a miniHouse!"
MB: And thereafter that's how he would occasionally get refered to.
MB: Chase: "Where's Minihouse?"
MB: Cameron: "He has a name!"
MB: Chase: *eyeroll* "Okay, where's Tim Minihouse?"
MB: Cameron: "He said he had a... thing."
MB: Foreman: *pokes his head in* "Giant robot attacking Gotham."
MB: Chase & Cameron: ".... Nah."
Cristin: *snort*
Maire: XD
MB: House: "Are you by any chance a masked superhero?"
MB: Tim: *goes very still* "Why would you think that?"
MB: House: "I don't know, just the odd way you vanish when there's a crisis on, the injuries, the obsessive noting of details, the fact you look just like Robin except for the mask bit and if I cut a wee mask out of paper and hold it up like this...."
MB: Tim: "...that doesn't prove anything!"
MB: House: "What's the Batmobile like? I mean, really? 'Cause it looks awesome."
MB: Tim: "...which one?"
Maire: *sniggers*
Maire: theirloveissocarbased!
MB: House: *sidles over to Wilson*
MB: Wilson: "What? I'm busy."
MB: House: "You need to come to the basement."
MB: Wilson: "I'm busy."
MB: House: "If they're not dying, this is more important."
MB: Wilson: "If I go, will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?"
MB: House: "Yes."
MB: Wilson: "Fine."
MB: *five minutes later*
MB: Wilson: "Omigod."
MB: House: "Yep."
MB: Wilson: "Omigod."
MB: House: "Yep."
MB: Wilson: "It's... it's... omigod."
MB: House: "A Batmobile. Not the Batmobile, because it turns out there are many. But a Batmobile."
MB: Wilson: "Omigod. Who did you have to... not kill or kill or lie for or blow to get this?"
MB: House: "Oddly nobody. Though Batman is on my very short list of people I would...."
MB: Wilson: *pausing in looking at the car* "Which bit?"
MB: House: "Well I'll not kill or kill or lie for just about anyone, won't I?"
PI: *dying so hard over here* What have I wrought?
Susan: Ooh! Ooh! Can the Joker show up and kidnap someone and then Batman and Robin cameo as well and Oracle hijacks the computers and Nightwing *breathe* stands around being pretty and flexible can we can we?
MB: ...You would write a good Impulse.
Susan: *nodnodnod*
PI: Cameron so falls in love with Dick. Which would be SO BAD for both of them. Because she would want to FIX him and he would want to LET her and Babs would GLARE and it would be wonderful
Susan: That's so true! But he'd still be the least-unhealthy relationship she's had.
Susan: And she wouldn't be the worst one he's had either.
PI: *rethinks* It would end explosively but in the long run be very good for both of them. The way Kory was good for Dick.
MB: And House would make suggestive comments about flexible men.
Susan: Ooh. Can Roy show up and sleep with everyone?
PI: I think that should be in every fic ever. Roy shows up and sleeps with everyone.
PI: (Especially since I just watched an episode of Toon Titans where Speedy takes care of a bunch of missiles aimed at the city by firing himself from a giant slingshot and STRADDLING THE MISSILES AND RIDING THEM INTO EACH OTHER HEAD ON)
PI: (It was quite filthy.)
Susan: Ooh! And Superman can show up one day!
Cristin: *is still laughing so hard*
PI: I'm just seeing Chase's face when he meets Kory. *giggles*
Susan: zomg! Cameron would get over Dick and try to fix Batman.
Susan: And FAIL.
Susan: She would put on a costume, too.
MB: And Wilson is wandering around thinking to himself, "Would I blow Batman? I mean, he's not on my would not blow list. But I don't know--I mean, he's iconic and all, but a bit...."
MB: House: *reading Wilson's thoughts* "You would blow Superman."
MB: Wilson: "I would not!"
MB: House: "Oh yes you would. The paragon of American goodness. You'd be on your knees in second flat."
MB: Wilson: "I-I would not."
MB: House: "..."
MB: Wilson: "All right, mostly that's because I can't even put Superman and sex into the same sentence."
Cristin: *snort*
Maire: Wilson is a failure as a fanboy?
MB: House: "...you know, you're right. He's too wholesome, like... like...."
MB: Wilson: "Apple pie?"
MB: House: "...we need to have a movie marathon this weekend."
MB: Wilson: *aghast* "Someone corrupted apple pie?"
MB: House: "Oh yeah."
Maire: *On the side, Batman angsts about apple pie again*
Session Three: In which there are BOOBIES.
Karen: So how did Power Girl intrude into your House discussion? I ask only because I'm left with the image of House trying to diagnose her... and yeah.
PI: *gigglesnort* That would be amazing
Cristin: ...it would be an entire episode of leering.
Cristin: And him bringing in Wilson.
Cristin: And just... staring.
MB: Powergirl: *crosses her arms*
MB: House and Wilson: Homigod.
Cristin: One of them would suggest they have her bronzed.
Karen: Cameron would suggest a reduction, and everyone else would hit her with things.
Karen: Even Cuddy.
Karen: ... esp. Cuddy.
MB: Cameron: "You do know that modern medicine has new, less invasive methods of breast reduc--OW"
Susan: The Power-cleavage would get into a fight with Cuddy's cleavage.
Cristin: I... wow. I just got an insanely powerful mental image of their breasts slapping each other.
Karen: PG's breasts might even attack Cameron. In self defense.
Cristin: ...it makes my chest hurt.
Karen: (House and Wilson are very happy men, at this point in the scene, I think.)
MB: Cameron would spend all day trying to find out who hit her.
MB: And discover, to her shock, it was Foreman.
MB: "That's so... that's so... sexist!"
MB: "I know, I know. But it would be a fundamental betrayal of my gender not to try and keep those in the world."
Susan: *snicker* Teyla, Cuddy and PG need to be in a room together one day.
Susan: I see it as the multiverse just randomly dumping them together on sages_of_chaos.
Susan: Teyla: My people will not be pleased about this.
Karen: ...I was going to say something about dumping them all in a shower, but I think that's just my brain being broken now.
MB: (If you ask her, she might write it anyway.)
Deanna: Is this the translation of "my people" that means her breasts?
Susan: Yes.
MB: I'm picturing Power Girl throwing an arm around each of them and beaming.
MB: (Elsewhere:
MB: House and Wilson: Homigod.)