Recreational Vibrato Manipulation (1/1)
Title: Recreational Vibrato Manipulation (1/1)
Author: jennynoname
Rating: PG-13 for some mild cursing and such
Word Count: 5,837
Spoilers: Everything that has aired is fair game. Some mild spoilers for 3x10, if you haven't seen it yet (which you should. In fact, go watch it right now. Do it.)
Disclaimer: I don't own "Community" or its characters. I only half-own Glinda. Oh, and I don't own "Glee." Life would be a lot easier if I did.
Summary: "It was like the Buddy incident from freshman year all over again. Except, somehow, it was much, much worse." The Greendale glee club clashes with our study group over property and persons. What do they want? You're about to find out.
A/N: As always, thanks to my adorable beta, office_bluth for all of her assistance. Especially in suggesting a title. She's the cheese to my macaroni. Also, an additional thank-you note to sinecure for the use of an awesome dialogue prompt!
-----
It was like the Buddy incident from freshman year all over again.
Except, somehow, it was much much worse.
The final three to enter into Study Room F were Jeff, Shirley, and Britta. The group was chatting about their exciting winter breaks. Well, Shirley and Britta were chatting. Jeff was pretending to listen. (He thought he might have heard something about a sweater for a cat…or was it a sweater with a cat on it?) As the friends rounded the corner into their room, they noticed Troy, Abed, Annie, and Pierce standing - arms folded across their chests - near the threshold.
And then Jeff discovered why.
Each one of the seven seats arranged around the study room table was already occupied. A blonde-haired young woman - who was sitting in Jeff’s spot - turned around in her chair as the remainder of the study group entered the room. Her blue eyes glittered and her lips stretched into a smile.
“Hello,” she cooed.
Jeff raised an eyebrow and gestured to the individuals around the table. “Uh, what the hell is this?”
“Yeah,” Britta countered, “this is kind of our spot.”
The stranger looked at her companions who were currently snickering under their breaths. Jeff could audibly hear one of them mocking his forehead (“You could ice skate on that thing”), so he snapped: “Look, Team Not-So-Awesome, if you could kindly remove yourselves from our seats, we -”
“Glinda,” the woman said, rising from the chair. She smiled as she pranced toward the growingly agitated group. “My name is Glinda,” the woman repeated, extending her hand to Jeff. When the man merely glared in response, Glinda chuckled. “Okay, Winger. If that’s how you’d like to play this, I’ll play.”
“Who names their kid Glinda?” Troy mocked. “God, that’s like naming your kid Thaddeus.”
The young man sitting in Annie’s seat furrowed his eyebrows. “Dude, it’s a family name.”
Glinda held a hand up in Thaddeus’ direction, before refocusing her attention on Jeff. “Now, we are aware that this is typically the room that you and your ragtag group of misfit toys use to ‘study’ -” (Abed cocked a head to the side momentarily before nodding in agreement) “- but since the choir room is being fumigated this week, the Dean personally assured us that it would be no trouble for us to utilize these facilities.”
Pierce gasped and pointed at the table. “Glee club infestation!”
The glee club members smirked in response.
Jeff’s jaw clenched. “So you just want to steal our room for the week - the first week of the semester - and think we won’t kick your sorry little effeminate asses for it?”
Glinda’s smile widened. “Of course you won’t, Jeff. The Dean’s secretary has been quite generous in inadvertently supplying us with some necessary…information, if you will…about you and your little group, should we need it.”
Jeff balled his fists and lowered his voice to a growl. “You wouldn’t.”
The young woman batted her eyelashes. “Don’t test me, Winger.” After a brief pause, Glinda motioned toward the door. “If you’ll be so kind, please exit the way you came in. We have to start practicing for Sectionals.”
And turning her back, the blonde flounced back to her seat, bob of hair bouncing on her shoulders as she did so. The study group simultaneously turned to Jeff.
With a frustrated sigh, the leader muttered: “Let’s go.”
-----
Annie was sitting on the floor of Study Room A, legs crossed under her. She took another sip of her green tea as Troy asked: “Why didn’t we just pound those twerps back there?”
Jeff ran a hand through his hair. “Because Troy,” he explained, “I thought we decided freshman year that hand-to-hand combat isn’t exactly our forte.”
“Violence is never the answer,” Shirley affirmed with a nod. When Troy raised an eyebrow at her, she concluded: “Remember - it makes the angels cry, Troy.”
“Damn,” he mumbled dejectedly.
“Still,” Abed said, speaking up for the first time since the group had discovered their new temporary study room, “Jeff was uncharacteristically weak back there. There was barely even a trace of the classic Winger snark that we have become accustomed to over the past three seasons.”
“I thought he did the right thing,” Annie said quietly. When Jeff looked up and met her eyes, she bashfully looked away and focused on Abed. “The last thing we need is to get in trouble on the first day of classes. I have a spotless record to uphold, and I’d rather not taint it by getting into a fight with the glee club.”
Pierce frowned in concentration. “Why don’t we just get to the room really early tomorrow and steal our crap back from them?”
“You did not just refer to our study room as crap, Pierce,” Shirley mumbled.
The elderly man lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “If the crap fits.”
Britta looked up from where she had been knitting and said: “Guys, it doesn’t matter. They have personal permission from the Dean. They can just run back to him, sing him some Journey medley and they’d keep the study room for the entire semester. And we’d get the shaft.”
“But we have Jeff as our secret weapon,” Troy assured. “He’s like…the Elder Wand of students. The Dean is powerless against his sculpted abs and toned arms.”
The group lapsed into awkward silence before Jeff slowly said: “While I’m flattered, Troy… I don’t exactly want to be whoring myself out to the Dean for a study room. Or any room in the history of rooms.”
Troy snapped his fingers together. “What about the Room of Requirement?”
“Sure, for that.”
“Really?”
Jeff scoffed and rolled his eyes. “No.” After a pause, he asked: “And what’s with the Harry Potter references?”
“We marathoned all of the movies during winter break,” Abed explained.
Annie nodded furiously. “And then they re-enacted the Triwizard Tournament in our apartment.”
“Is that what that Facebook invite was about?” Pierce asked. “I thought it had something to do with three-ways.”
The group collectively groaned in disgust.
Britta bit her lip and frowned in thought. “You know, Jeff, whoring yourself out might not be a terrible idea.”
“This is the part where you say you’re trying out a new comedy routine this semester, right?” Jeff asked.
The blonde narrowed her eyes and addressed the rest of the group. “I mean that it might not be a bad idea for you to use that egotistical smarm and try to get in good with that glee club bitch.”
“…witch,” Shirley corrected. When Britta raised an eyebrow, Shirley elaborated: “You know, because her name is Glinda?”
Annie fiddled with the hem on her skirt and spoke up. “I don’t know, Britta. Jeff trying to seduce Glinda would probably not be our best option.”
“Does anyone else a better one?” the blonde countered. When Troy raised his hand, Britta sighed. “One that doesn’t involve teleporting the glee club to an alternate dimension?”
Troy frowned and lowered his hand. Abed patted his best friend’s shoulder in consolation.
Britta nudged Jeff. “Okay, Winger. Do you think you’re up for the task?”
The man looked around the room. Annie didn’t meet his gaze and he swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
Abed held up a finger. “Unless,” the young man began, “there’s some plot twist prohibiting Jeff from being able to fully commit to his role as a seducer.”
Shirley furrowed her eyebrows. “And what would that be, Abed?”
Looking between Annie and Jeff, the student opened his mouth and then closed it. Shaking his head, he smiled secretively. “Spoilers.”
-----
Jeff stretched his abnormally long legs onto the empty chair next to him. Annie had discovered through reputable sources that the glee club had their music theory class together after lunch, and - per the study group’s suggestion - Jeff had arrived at Room F early enough to ensure that he would beat the singers there.
He heard the soft harmonization of “Baby One More Time” from around the corner and looked up as Glinda and two other women entered the room. The blonde arched an eyebrow at him, whispered something to her friends, and the two departed with furious giggles.
Glinda adjusted the bag that was slung over her shoulder and smiled. “Jeff. What a pleasant surprise. I would have thought you’d be jabbing needles into a voodoo doll of me right now.”
Jeff smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nah,” he assured. “I’m not that petty.”
The blonde bit her lip and settled into Britta’s seat, dropping her bag on the table. Folding her hands diplomatically, Glinda began: “I assume you’re here for a reason, then.”
Jeff uncrossed his arms and leaned closer to the young woman. Dropping his voice to a husky whisper, he said: “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
Glinda’s lips twisted into a smile and she leaned closer to the man, eyelashes fluttering. “Is that so?” The young woman licked her lips and tilted her head to the side slightly, studying Jeff’s face. A slight tease of panic flashed across his face, and the blonde’s smile widened. She sat back in her chair and tapped her chin in faux thought. “See, I think your little Girl Scout troop convinced you to try and seduce me.”
Jeff opened his mouth and closed it quickly. “Dammit,” he mumbled.
Glinda laughed and patted Jeff’s hand in consolation. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Rookie mistake.”
“I am far from being a rookie,” Jeff defended. “I don’t even know the meaning of the word.”
“M-hmm,” Glinda hummed.
Jeff set his jaw in determination before reaching across the table and cupping the woman’s face in his hands. Glinda chuckled as Jeff’s breath tickled her lips. There was a lengthy pause as neither party moved. The young woman shook her head and sat back in her seat. “I’m sorry,” she insisted with a chuckle. “I am not buying that you’re suddenly and irrevocably attracted to me.”
The man groaned and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Are you sure it wouldn’t help if I did this?” Jeff attempted to inconspicuously flex his arms.
Glinda pursed her lips and shook her head before bursting into a giggle. “You never really learn, do you?”
Smirking, Jeff replied: “Not if I can help it.”
Glinda seemed to contemplate this momentarily, before she rose from her chair and extended her hand to the man. “Sadly, I can get on board with that.” She raised her eyebrows daringly: “Lunch?”
-----
“Annie?”
The brunette looked up from her salad to find Britta and Abed staring at her with curiosity. Shirley and Troy were sharing a look across the table as well.
“Hmm?”
“Are you mad at your salad?” Troy asked. “Because you have that ‘I want to murder you’ look in your eye.”
Annie glanced quickly down at her Iceberg lettuce (which, to her dismay, really did look like it was a victim of a homicide), and bit her lip. “Oops.”
“Annie,” Britta started slowly, “this wouldn’t have anything to do with Jeff seducing that pop star wannabe, would it?”
The young woman scoffed. “Pfft,” she breathed, waving her hand dismissively. “That - I don’t - whatever.”
Troy’s eyebrow arched. “Well, that was coherent.”
Abed pointed toward the entrance of the cafeteria. “Here comes Jeff,” he announced. Eyebrows arched, the young man added: “…and Glinda is with him.”
Simultaneously, every study group member turned and studied the pair. Glinda was laughing and touching Jeff’s arm occasionally. Annie’s grip on her fork tightened.
Troy put his hand over the brunette’s and she lowered her utensil.
Across the cafeteria, Glinda and Jeff slid into a booth. Folding her hands on the table, the young woman leaned forward. “I have a proposition for you, Winger.”
Jeff raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
Instead of immediately responding, the blonde stared across the cafeteria and met eyes briefly with Annie before the latter’s gaze returned to her plate of food. Glinda smiled and chewed on her carrot stick thoughtfully. “You want your study room back, correct?”
“Right.”
“What if I made you a deal?” the woman proposed. “If you accept, you get your study room back. If you decline, we get the study room for the entire year.”
Jeff frowned. “Wait - what? I thought your choir room was going to be free by the end of the week. Then you can return to your space and leave the rest of us in musical-less peace.”
Glinda shrugged. “Let’s just call it leverage, Jeff.”
“Uh, some people call it blackmail.”
The young woman wrinkled her nose. “Blackmail is an ugly term. Here’s the deal: if you give me what I want, we won’t have a problem.”
Jeff sighed. “What do you want?”
Glinda smiled and held up a finger. “First, I’d like to ask you something, if you don’t mind.” When Jeff failed to object, the woman’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. “What about this room is so important to you? It’s just a room.”
Jeff’s eyes focused on the table and he paused for a moment. “All right,” he explained, “it’ll sound really…weird, I guess out loud.” After another slight pause, he continued: “When you spend your whole life waiting for a place where you feel at home, you don’t ever think it’ll be at a community college. But that room is where we all became a family. So much has happened in there and it’s like…our home, I guess.”
“You’re a decent human being, Jeff,” Glinda asserted. “And kind of a softie.” The blonde leaned forward and began: “But you can’t force those people together forever. Unless you’re all planning to spend an eternity at Greendale, my guess is that you all will go your separate ways after next year.”
“Yeah,” the former lawyer began, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve thought about that.” With a sigh, Jeff asked: “So what’s your proposition?”
Glinda flashed the man a pearly smile. “I propose a trade.”
Jeff frowned and something within the pit of his stomach stirred. He didn’t like where this was going. “A what?”
The blonde studied her companion. “The glee club will relinquish its control of the study room if you give us Annie.”
There was only silence as Jeff blinked. “What the hell?”
Instead of directly answering, Glinda explained: “When you all substituted for us during the Christmas pageant - seriously if I ever find out who sent in that anonymous tip, I will destroy them - I recognized through watching the DVD that some of you actually had potential. Annie is a decent performer, Jeff. She’s a prime candidate for glee club, not to mention that it would look extra impressive on her resume. Should she decide to join, of course.”
Jeff frowned. “And why don’t you just ask her yourself?”
Glinda smiled sadly. “She’d never leave you.” When Jeff remained silent, the young woman added: “And you know that, don’t you?”
The man merely shifted in his seat.
“I’m offering her a chance to explore her other talents, Jeff. And to be honest, time apart from the group will make it easier for her once you graduate. She’d stop relying solely on the group for support.” Glinda studied Jeff’s face and licked her lips before leaning forward. “I know you want what’s best for her, Winger. You apparently care about her more than you let on. If we were in a musical, you two would have sung a poignant but mellow duet to each other by now.” After a pause, the woman finished: “You’re a good guy, Jeff. Do what’s right.”
“You don’t know me,” Jeff insisted, voice low in his throat.
The woman across from him sighed. “That may be true. And as much as you hate me, I also know what you should do. And so do you. Tell you what - I’ll give you until the end of the day to come up with an answer.” Rising from the table, Glinda patted Jeff’s shoulder and pranced out of the cafeteria.
Jeff merely groaned.
-----
“Plot twist,” Abed mumbled as Jeff concluded describing his encounter with Glinda to the study group.
Annie frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “You told her no, right?”
Jeff visibly winced and Annie’s mouth fell open with a gasp.
Britta smacked the former lawyer on the shoulder. “Jeff,” she scolded. “You can’t just sell Annie into slavery.” (Here, Troy and Shirley raised eyebrows but said nothing). “Especially not to the glee club.”
“Britta,” Jeff emphasized, “do you want to study in the supply closet for the rest of the year?”
The group examined their surroundings. It was the first day back of classes and all of the study rooms were already booked for the remainder of the day. It was absurd, they had argued to the on-duty librarian. Who even had classes to study for, anyway?
Shirley frowned and fiddled with the zipper on her purse. “It doesn’t matter where we study,” she insisted. “As long as we’re together.”
Pierce nodded. “I agree with Shirley in this case.” The man gently stroked Shirley’s shoulders and the woman retracted her arm slowly with disgust.
“Guys,” Annie addressed, “has everyone forgotten that I have a say in this too?”
“Annie,” Jeff began, “maybe Glinda is right.”
Troy blinked rapidly and held up a hand. “Dude, I’m sorry, but are you sure you aren’t the Jeff from an evil timeline?” After craning his neck to study something, the athlete shook his head. “Nah, never mind - you still have both arms.”
Annie shook her head at Troy before refocusing her attention on Jeff. She lowered her voice in worry. “You don’t actually think I should leave the group.” After a pause, the brunette’s eyes widened, and she asked even quieter: “Do you?”
There was complete silence as Annie stared at Jeff with curiosity and a bit of fear.
“No,” the man assured quietly. He smiled sadly and sighed. “I just worry that… I don’t know… you guys will realize one day that this group is toxic and that there are better people out there for you, and that all of our four years was a waste.”
Annie and Shirley cooed.
“Jeff,” the latter began, “I’ve been on the other side - with that group of women our first year here - and despite our obvious religious and moral differences - ” (Britta made a sour face when Shirley looked in her direction) “ - I realize that what we have is special, and it should be cherished.”
Jeff’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. “So, let me get this straight,” he began, “even after Pierce pantsed you, even after I took an axe to the study room table, even after Annie nearly caused us to retake Spanish, even after Chang was almost let into the study group, you still want to be a part of this group?”
Shirley nodded. “We’re family,” she said simply.
Britta smiled. “Yeah. We kind of are, aren’t we?”
“Before this gets so sentimental that I can’t properly reciprocate,” Abed started, “can we devise a plan to get our room back? The floor isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”
Troy’s eyes widened. “I literally have the world’s greatest plan.” When the group failed to react, the young athlete grinned. “What’s one thing we’re really awesome at?”
-----
It was nearly 5 P.M. when Shirley’s station wagon and Jeff’s Lexus swung into the parking lot of the Greendale Paintball Facility. The seven study group members stepped out of their respective cars, decked head-to-toe in black apparel. Annie adjusted the red bandana around her arm and glared across the parking lot at an approaching blonde woman.
Jeff instinctively moved toward Annie as the two groups met one another.
“Ragtag study group,” Glinda addressed with a smirk.
Britta sneered. “Wannabe Glee star.”
A red-headed young woman with curls rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone think we watch that show? We hate Glee.”
“Yeah,” Thaddeus echoed, “it’s like, worse than watching the E! network.”
“Well, as much as I would love to discuss the merits of television shows,” Jeff scoffed, “we have a game to play.”
Glinda smiled. “So we agree - last man standing takes the study room and - ” The blonde paused and eyed Annie. “ - Edison.”
Annie glared right through the young woman and clenched her fists. “Deal.”
The red-haired young woman beamed. “Then let the games begin.”
-----
Troy sulked toward the safe zone, removing his helmet from his head and throwing it on the ground. From the sidelines, Shirley, Pierce, and Abed shook their heads sadly.
As the athlete sunk onto the bench, Shirley asked: “What happened?”
Troy glared into the distance, past the maze of paint-covered obstacles and walls. “It was their three-part harmony. It was so…good. I had to listen!”
“They were singing ‘Grenade,’ weren’t they?” Abed asked.
The young man groaned and nodded before looking up at the sky and yelling: “Dam you, Bruno Mars! Damn you!”
“So that leaves Brittles, Jeff, and Annie?” Pierce asked. When the group members nodded, the elderly man groaned. “We’re screwed.”
“From what I can gather,” Abed began slowly, “Meagan, Thaddeus, and Glinda are the only three glee club members that we didn’t take out yet. That means we still have a shot.”
Shirley shook her head and clutched her paintball mask closer to her body. “Abed,” she started, “I don’t like those odds. We’re going to lose our room. And Annie.”
Abed shook his head in determination and gazed stonily into the distance. “Jeff won’t let that happen,” he assured. Shirley bit her lip, and the young man repeated: “Jeff won’t let that happen.”
-----
“I resent that!” she yelled toward the paintball arena. “Do you hear me?”
Britta’s chest heaved in and out as she stormed to the sidelines. The rest of the study group looked up, nervousness apparent on each of their faces.
Wincing as she sat beside him, Troy asked: “Do I want to know what happened?”
The blonde groaned. “It was that Thaddeus kid. He pissed me off because he started talking about how he couldn’t believe I hadn’t ruined the paintball game yet since I’m such a ruiner and - ”
“ - so you what?” Troy hysterically cried. “Proved him right?”
Britta smacked the young man’s shoulder before burying her face in her hands. “I lost my cool and left my hiding spot. And he shot me.” The young woman swallowed hard and looked at the rest of the group. “I’m sorry guys. It’s not looking good out there.”
Abed frowned and looked at the piece of paper he had been scribbling on for the last minute or so. “If my calculations are correct, Jeff and Annie are still in the game, right?”
Britta nodded. “We were hiding together.”
The film student smiled. “Glinda is the only one left. We’re two to one on the glee club. We still have a chance to win.”
Shirley looked up at the sky. “Oh, sweet Lord,” she began, “let us kick that little witch’s ass.”
-----
The group saw her trudge toward the sidelines and collectively groaned.
“Oh Annie,” Shirley cooed, face contorted with worry.
Abed frowned. “You’re out?” he asked.
Annie sighed and removed her paintball helmet and mask. “Jeff and I got into a debate over who would take Glinda out. He didn’t want me to chance it, so he told me to stay hidden. But I told him that in case he had forgotten, I was more than capable of taking people out. And he said - ”
“ - cut to the part where you tell us something important,” Troy remarked.
Annie shot him a look before sighing. “So I ended up moving from our hiding spot to find her, and when I rounded a corner, I heard a shot. She got my back. It’s almost like she knew we would be fighting and that I’d storm off. I swear, that girl is - ”
“Wait,” Abed interrupted. The young man rose from his seat, forehead creasing in a deep frown. “You said she shot you in the back.”
“Well yeah,” Annie responded. She appeared puzzled. “I heard it. And then she started singing ‘We are the Champions.’ Honestly, it - ”
Eyes widened, Abed grabbed Annie by the shoulders and spun her around so that her back was to the group. The remaining members gasped. Craning her neck, the brunette attempted to discover the source of their disbelief. “What?” she asked. “What happened? Am I bleeding or something? Oh God, tell me that I’m not bleeding.”
Britta rose from the bench. “You’re not hit,” she assured quietly. When Annie frowned, the blonde emphasized: “At all.”
Annie’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Wait - what?”
Eyes still wide, Abed paced the ground. “It was a ruse,” he declared. “It was a way to get you out of the game. She must have known that she could never take you down herself. She probably brought a set of blanks along,” the young man continued, now speeding through his sentence. “So she made you think that you were shot so she could take out Jeff and win.” Pausing, Abed declared: “You’re still in the game.”
-----
He knew it was going to come down to the two of them.
Somehow, he just had this gut feeling that when he rounded the corner, she’d already be waiting for him - gun drawn, and probably humming some crappy mash-up of “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and another 80s-driven song while she assaulted him with paintball pellets.
The weight in his stomach dropped. He lost the group. He lost Annie. Over a stupid paintball match, no less.
But when Jeff crept around the corner of a giant metal structure, he frowned. She was nowhere in sight. His relief was momentary as he felt the barrel of a gun press into his protective armor.
“Looking for me, sweetie?”
Jeff turned around and met Glinda’s smirk with a countenance of defeat. “Go ahead,” he insisted. “Shoot me.”
The blonde removed her helmet and mask and shook her hair. “Now why would I do that?” she asked, gun still aimed directly at the center of the former lawyer’s chest.
Jeff frowned. “Isn’t that what you want? To take our room from us? To take Annie from us?”
Glinda clucked her tongue. “Winger,” she began, “you really never learn.” Narrowing her eyes at him, she gestured to the gun still in Jeff’s hand. “Drop your weapon.” When the man merely stared, Glinda raised her weapon. “Drop your gun or I’ll shoot you right now.”
Jeff momentarily contemplated before lowering his gun to the ground. Glinda smiled and began to slowly walk in a circle around Jeff as she spoke. “Jeff, your study group is famous at our school, so I’ve come to learn quite a few things about you. The first thing is this: you have come to a point where you need the study group more than they need you.”
The man swallowed.
Glinda continued. “And the most unfair and selfish thing you can possibly do is to keep them with you because you need them. Friendship is a two-way street, Jeff.”
“I know that,” he retorted.
Glinda raised her gun. “Really?” she spat. “Are you sure about that? Are you sure that you know what it means to care about someone - to really care about them - and to come to terms with that?” The blonde paused. “I don’t think you’ve come to terms with it, Jeff. I don’t think you’ve accepted your love for everyone in your study group.” Glinda sighed. “Do you know how many glee clubs I’ve been a part of, Jeff?”
The man raised an eyebrow. “Is my answer going to potentially get me shot?”
Glinda rolled her eyes and paused directly in front of Jeff. “Seven,” she said simply. “I’ve been in seven different glee clubs in my college career. Do you know why they all failed?”
“Too many Journey medleys?” the man offered.
Glinda chuckled. Suddenly though, her face grew serious. “It’s because we never became a true family. Sure, we all loved each other in a you’re-so-talented-I-hope-you-get-the-solo-but-not-really-because-I’m-better way.” Glinda swallowed. “We never took the time to really care about each other. And then when we did…it was too late. We had said and done things we couldn’t take back.”
Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. “You have no idea what we’ve been through together.” The man pointed toward where the safety zone for his team was. “Those six people over there? They’re the closest thing to family I’ve ever had. And yeah, you’re right - maybe I’m being selfish in not wanting to lose any of them. Maybe I’m convinced that if we all stay together somehow life will be less crappy. Or maybe not even less crappy - maybe it’s just that I want us to need each other. Because when we stop needing each other, life gets downright terrifying.”
The former lawyer paused, forehead wrinkled in concentration. Where had that come from? His therapist hadn’t even been able to get that out of him.
“And what about Annie?” Glinda asked, lowering her gun to her side momentarily. “I’ve been where she’s been, Jeff. You might think that I’m an evil, conniving witch for blackmailing you into getting her to join us.” Here, the young woman paused and sighed. “And maybe I am… I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not fair to string along a perfectly wonderful young woman like that.”
Anger bubbled in Jeff’s chest and he pointed a finger at Glinda. “You have no idea what it’s like, okay? You don’t know what it’s like to care about someone and know that they deserve better than you.”
Jeff paused suddenly. Okay, seriously… where the hell was this stuff coming from? Was Glinda some therapist slash highly-skilled operative trainer in feelings?
Glinda smiled sadly in response. “Jeff,” she began, “like I said earlier - your study group is kind of famous. Dean Pelton almost didn’t let us have the study room because he adores you all too much.” Biting her lip, the blonde continued: “I’ve been where she’s been. I know what it’s like to wait around for someone to tell you how they really feel - no subtext, no assumptions, no crap like that.”
Jeff’s face softened as Glinda fought back tears. “What happened?” he asked gently.
The young woman’s sad smile reappeared. “He moved. I spent a year of my life wondering if he felt the same way I did.” Glinda wiped a tear and laughed. “Sometimes I think I was in a one-sided relationship, you know?”
The man swallowed and looked down at the ground. “Look, Glinda maybe…maybe that guy was just a tool. Or maybe he just didn’t want to screw things up with you. Maybe he was afraid of his track record, or afraid you’d…”
“That’s why, isn’t it?” the blonde asked. “You’re afraid.” When Jeff adverted his eyes from Glinda, the young woman took a step forward: “Speaking as someone who has literally been there, I highly suggest making your feelings clear. Before it’s too late.”
There was a momentary lapse of silence. Glinda frowned and looked to the right. The blonde smiled and raised her gun. “And now, Jeff,” she explained. “It’s time we end this.”
Jeff dove to the ground to retrieve his gun, but a shot was fired before he had clasped a hand around the grip. Just as he raised his head from the ground, twelve figures rushed in.
“Jeff, Annie’s not - ”
Abed paused and frowned, looking between Glinda and Jeff. “Wait - what happened?” he asked.
Glinda motioned to her leg which was spattered with pink paint. “He got me,” the blonde assured. Looking Jeff squarely in the eye, she said: “He won.”
The study group unanimously cheered, while the Greendale glee club’s shoulders seemed to slump immediately. Glinda knelt down to pick up her gun and sighed. “I guess you guys win,” she conceded. The young woman extended a hand to Annie. “Good game.”
The brunette eyed Glinda’s hand and then quickly looked to Jeff for guidance. The man, now rising to his feet, nodded once. Annie forced a smile and shook the young woman’s hand.
“All right,” Britta insisted, grinning. “Time to celebrate!”
“Ooh,” Shirley cooed, “I have brownie mix at home!”
Britta raised an eyebrow before shrugging. As the two groups began to retreat, Jeff called out: “Hey, Annie?”
The young woman in question turned around, head tilted to the side with curiosity.
Jeff looked between the brunette and Glinda, and he smiled. “Can you wait in the safe zone? I’ll be out in a minute.”
Annie’s eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, but she genuinely smiled. “Sure.”
Slowly, students filtered out of the area, leaving only Jeff and Glinda. The man scooped up his supplies and leaned against a paint-stained pillar. “What was that?”
Glinda pursed her lips together and smiled coyly. “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”
Jeff laid a hand on Glinda’s arm gently and the young woman looked up at him. “Why did you do that?” he asked. “You shot yourself so we’d win.”
“I guess,” she admitted, “I never got my chance with that guy, years ago. Our story’s over, you know?” After a pause, Glinda smiled. “I’m giving you an opportunity to make right. So don’t blow it.”
With a wink, the blonde reached for Jeff’s hand and squeezed once. As she turned to walk out of the area, Jeff spoke up: “Hey Glinda.” The young woman turned around in curiosity. Jeff’s face stretched into a smirk and he finished: “You’re not too bad for a glee club member.”
Glinda laughed, eyes glittering. “I’ll see you at Sectionals,” she insisted. When Jeff looked panic-stricken, the woman amended: “In the audience.” And with a laugh, she turned on her heels and walked away.
Jeff shook his head and walked toward the safety zone where Annie was seated on the bench, playing with her bandana.
“Hi,” he began, approaching the bench. When Annie opened her mouth to speak, the man held a hand up: “Look… can we talk, or something?”
Annie frowned. “About what?” Blue eyes growing wide with worry, she lowered her voice: “Are you mad at me?”
Jeff shook his head furiously. “No, no. I, uh… just think it’d be good to talk. About stuff. You know.” As the brunette opened her mouth, perhaps to protest or ask more about the nature of this discussion, Jeff concluded: “Denny’s sound good?”
The young woman’s eyes flickered over Jeff who was smiling slightly. “Sure,” she affirmed. “Denny’s sounds good.”
“Good,” Jeff decided. “It’s a date.”
The former lawyer turned on his heels and walked back to his car with a smirk, as Annie fully registered his remark. She opened and shut her mouth quickly, eyebrows furrowed in thought. But then, slowly, her lips stretched into a genuine smile and a soft blush appeared on her cheeks. And she rose swiftly from the bench before skipping ahead and falling into step with Jeff.
-----
Author: jennynoname
Rating: PG-13 for some mild cursing and such
Word Count: 5,837
Spoilers: Everything that has aired is fair game. Some mild spoilers for 3x10, if you haven't seen it yet (which you should. In fact, go watch it right now. Do it.)
Disclaimer: I don't own "Community" or its characters. I only half-own Glinda. Oh, and I don't own "Glee." Life would be a lot easier if I did.
Summary: "It was like the Buddy incident from freshman year all over again. Except, somehow, it was much, much worse." The Greendale glee club clashes with our study group over property and persons. What do they want? You're about to find out.
A/N: As always, thanks to my adorable beta, office_bluth for all of her assistance. Especially in suggesting a title. She's the cheese to my macaroni. Also, an additional thank-you note to sinecure for the use of an awesome dialogue prompt!
-----
It was like the Buddy incident from freshman year all over again.
Except, somehow, it was much much worse.
The final three to enter into Study Room F were Jeff, Shirley, and Britta. The group was chatting about their exciting winter breaks. Well, Shirley and Britta were chatting. Jeff was pretending to listen. (He thought he might have heard something about a sweater for a cat…or was it a sweater with a cat on it?) As the friends rounded the corner into their room, they noticed Troy, Abed, Annie, and Pierce standing - arms folded across their chests - near the threshold.
And then Jeff discovered why.
Each one of the seven seats arranged around the study room table was already occupied. A blonde-haired young woman - who was sitting in Jeff’s spot - turned around in her chair as the remainder of the study group entered the room. Her blue eyes glittered and her lips stretched into a smile.
“Hello,” she cooed.
Jeff raised an eyebrow and gestured to the individuals around the table. “Uh, what the hell is this?”
“Yeah,” Britta countered, “this is kind of our spot.”
The stranger looked at her companions who were currently snickering under their breaths. Jeff could audibly hear one of them mocking his forehead (“You could ice skate on that thing”), so he snapped: “Look, Team Not-So-Awesome, if you could kindly remove yourselves from our seats, we -”
“Glinda,” the woman said, rising from the chair. She smiled as she pranced toward the growingly agitated group. “My name is Glinda,” the woman repeated, extending her hand to Jeff. When the man merely glared in response, Glinda chuckled. “Okay, Winger. If that’s how you’d like to play this, I’ll play.”
“Who names their kid Glinda?” Troy mocked. “God, that’s like naming your kid Thaddeus.”
The young man sitting in Annie’s seat furrowed his eyebrows. “Dude, it’s a family name.”
Glinda held a hand up in Thaddeus’ direction, before refocusing her attention on Jeff. “Now, we are aware that this is typically the room that you and your ragtag group of misfit toys use to ‘study’ -” (Abed cocked a head to the side momentarily before nodding in agreement) “- but since the choir room is being fumigated this week, the Dean personally assured us that it would be no trouble for us to utilize these facilities.”
Pierce gasped and pointed at the table. “Glee club infestation!”
The glee club members smirked in response.
Jeff’s jaw clenched. “So you just want to steal our room for the week - the first week of the semester - and think we won’t kick your sorry little effeminate asses for it?”
Glinda’s smile widened. “Of course you won’t, Jeff. The Dean’s secretary has been quite generous in inadvertently supplying us with some necessary…information, if you will…about you and your little group, should we need it.”
Jeff balled his fists and lowered his voice to a growl. “You wouldn’t.”
The young woman batted her eyelashes. “Don’t test me, Winger.” After a brief pause, Glinda motioned toward the door. “If you’ll be so kind, please exit the way you came in. We have to start practicing for Sectionals.”
And turning her back, the blonde flounced back to her seat, bob of hair bouncing on her shoulders as she did so. The study group simultaneously turned to Jeff.
With a frustrated sigh, the leader muttered: “Let’s go.”
-----
Annie was sitting on the floor of Study Room A, legs crossed under her. She took another sip of her green tea as Troy asked: “Why didn’t we just pound those twerps back there?”
Jeff ran a hand through his hair. “Because Troy,” he explained, “I thought we decided freshman year that hand-to-hand combat isn’t exactly our forte.”
“Violence is never the answer,” Shirley affirmed with a nod. When Troy raised an eyebrow at her, she concluded: “Remember - it makes the angels cry, Troy.”
“Damn,” he mumbled dejectedly.
“Still,” Abed said, speaking up for the first time since the group had discovered their new temporary study room, “Jeff was uncharacteristically weak back there. There was barely even a trace of the classic Winger snark that we have become accustomed to over the past three seasons.”
“I thought he did the right thing,” Annie said quietly. When Jeff looked up and met her eyes, she bashfully looked away and focused on Abed. “The last thing we need is to get in trouble on the first day of classes. I have a spotless record to uphold, and I’d rather not taint it by getting into a fight with the glee club.”
Pierce frowned in concentration. “Why don’t we just get to the room really early tomorrow and steal our crap back from them?”
“You did not just refer to our study room as crap, Pierce,” Shirley mumbled.
The elderly man lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “If the crap fits.”
Britta looked up from where she had been knitting and said: “Guys, it doesn’t matter. They have personal permission from the Dean. They can just run back to him, sing him some Journey medley and they’d keep the study room for the entire semester. And we’d get the shaft.”
“But we have Jeff as our secret weapon,” Troy assured. “He’s like…the Elder Wand of students. The Dean is powerless against his sculpted abs and toned arms.”
The group lapsed into awkward silence before Jeff slowly said: “While I’m flattered, Troy… I don’t exactly want to be whoring myself out to the Dean for a study room. Or any room in the history of rooms.”
Troy snapped his fingers together. “What about the Room of Requirement?”
“Sure, for that.”
“Really?”
Jeff scoffed and rolled his eyes. “No.” After a pause, he asked: “And what’s with the Harry Potter references?”
“We marathoned all of the movies during winter break,” Abed explained.
Annie nodded furiously. “And then they re-enacted the Triwizard Tournament in our apartment.”
“Is that what that Facebook invite was about?” Pierce asked. “I thought it had something to do with three-ways.”
The group collectively groaned in disgust.
Britta bit her lip and frowned in thought. “You know, Jeff, whoring yourself out might not be a terrible idea.”
“This is the part where you say you’re trying out a new comedy routine this semester, right?” Jeff asked.
The blonde narrowed her eyes and addressed the rest of the group. “I mean that it might not be a bad idea for you to use that egotistical smarm and try to get in good with that glee club bitch.”
“…witch,” Shirley corrected. When Britta raised an eyebrow, Shirley elaborated: “You know, because her name is Glinda?”
Annie fiddled with the hem on her skirt and spoke up. “I don’t know, Britta. Jeff trying to seduce Glinda would probably not be our best option.”
“Does anyone else a better one?” the blonde countered. When Troy raised his hand, Britta sighed. “One that doesn’t involve teleporting the glee club to an alternate dimension?”
Troy frowned and lowered his hand. Abed patted his best friend’s shoulder in consolation.
Britta nudged Jeff. “Okay, Winger. Do you think you’re up for the task?”
The man looked around the room. Annie didn’t meet his gaze and he swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
Abed held up a finger. “Unless,” the young man began, “there’s some plot twist prohibiting Jeff from being able to fully commit to his role as a seducer.”
Shirley furrowed her eyebrows. “And what would that be, Abed?”
Looking between Annie and Jeff, the student opened his mouth and then closed it. Shaking his head, he smiled secretively. “Spoilers.”
-----
Jeff stretched his abnormally long legs onto the empty chair next to him. Annie had discovered through reputable sources that the glee club had their music theory class together after lunch, and - per the study group’s suggestion - Jeff had arrived at Room F early enough to ensure that he would beat the singers there.
He heard the soft harmonization of “Baby One More Time” from around the corner and looked up as Glinda and two other women entered the room. The blonde arched an eyebrow at him, whispered something to her friends, and the two departed with furious giggles.
Glinda adjusted the bag that was slung over her shoulder and smiled. “Jeff. What a pleasant surprise. I would have thought you’d be jabbing needles into a voodoo doll of me right now.”
Jeff smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nah,” he assured. “I’m not that petty.”
The blonde bit her lip and settled into Britta’s seat, dropping her bag on the table. Folding her hands diplomatically, Glinda began: “I assume you’re here for a reason, then.”
Jeff uncrossed his arms and leaned closer to the young woman. Dropping his voice to a husky whisper, he said: “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”
Glinda’s lips twisted into a smile and she leaned closer to the man, eyelashes fluttering. “Is that so?” The young woman licked her lips and tilted her head to the side slightly, studying Jeff’s face. A slight tease of panic flashed across his face, and the blonde’s smile widened. She sat back in her chair and tapped her chin in faux thought. “See, I think your little Girl Scout troop convinced you to try and seduce me.”
Jeff opened his mouth and closed it quickly. “Dammit,” he mumbled.
Glinda laughed and patted Jeff’s hand in consolation. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Rookie mistake.”
“I am far from being a rookie,” Jeff defended. “I don’t even know the meaning of the word.”
“M-hmm,” Glinda hummed.
Jeff set his jaw in determination before reaching across the table and cupping the woman’s face in his hands. Glinda chuckled as Jeff’s breath tickled her lips. There was a lengthy pause as neither party moved. The young woman shook her head and sat back in her seat. “I’m sorry,” she insisted with a chuckle. “I am not buying that you’re suddenly and irrevocably attracted to me.”
The man groaned and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Are you sure it wouldn’t help if I did this?” Jeff attempted to inconspicuously flex his arms.
Glinda pursed her lips and shook her head before bursting into a giggle. “You never really learn, do you?”
Smirking, Jeff replied: “Not if I can help it.”
Glinda seemed to contemplate this momentarily, before she rose from her chair and extended her hand to the man. “Sadly, I can get on board with that.” She raised her eyebrows daringly: “Lunch?”
-----
“Annie?”
The brunette looked up from her salad to find Britta and Abed staring at her with curiosity. Shirley and Troy were sharing a look across the table as well.
“Hmm?”
“Are you mad at your salad?” Troy asked. “Because you have that ‘I want to murder you’ look in your eye.”
Annie glanced quickly down at her Iceberg lettuce (which, to her dismay, really did look like it was a victim of a homicide), and bit her lip. “Oops.”
“Annie,” Britta started slowly, “this wouldn’t have anything to do with Jeff seducing that pop star wannabe, would it?”
The young woman scoffed. “Pfft,” she breathed, waving her hand dismissively. “That - I don’t - whatever.”
Troy’s eyebrow arched. “Well, that was coherent.”
Abed pointed toward the entrance of the cafeteria. “Here comes Jeff,” he announced. Eyebrows arched, the young man added: “…and Glinda is with him.”
Simultaneously, every study group member turned and studied the pair. Glinda was laughing and touching Jeff’s arm occasionally. Annie’s grip on her fork tightened.
Troy put his hand over the brunette’s and she lowered her utensil.
Across the cafeteria, Glinda and Jeff slid into a booth. Folding her hands on the table, the young woman leaned forward. “I have a proposition for you, Winger.”
Jeff raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
Instead of immediately responding, the blonde stared across the cafeteria and met eyes briefly with Annie before the latter’s gaze returned to her plate of food. Glinda smiled and chewed on her carrot stick thoughtfully. “You want your study room back, correct?”
“Right.”
“What if I made you a deal?” the woman proposed. “If you accept, you get your study room back. If you decline, we get the study room for the entire year.”
Jeff frowned. “Wait - what? I thought your choir room was going to be free by the end of the week. Then you can return to your space and leave the rest of us in musical-less peace.”
Glinda shrugged. “Let’s just call it leverage, Jeff.”
“Uh, some people call it blackmail.”
The young woman wrinkled her nose. “Blackmail is an ugly term. Here’s the deal: if you give me what I want, we won’t have a problem.”
Jeff sighed. “What do you want?”
Glinda smiled and held up a finger. “First, I’d like to ask you something, if you don’t mind.” When Jeff failed to object, the woman’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. “What about this room is so important to you? It’s just a room.”
Jeff’s eyes focused on the table and he paused for a moment. “All right,” he explained, “it’ll sound really…weird, I guess out loud.” After another slight pause, he continued: “When you spend your whole life waiting for a place where you feel at home, you don’t ever think it’ll be at a community college. But that room is where we all became a family. So much has happened in there and it’s like…our home, I guess.”
“You’re a decent human being, Jeff,” Glinda asserted. “And kind of a softie.” The blonde leaned forward and began: “But you can’t force those people together forever. Unless you’re all planning to spend an eternity at Greendale, my guess is that you all will go your separate ways after next year.”
“Yeah,” the former lawyer began, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve thought about that.” With a sigh, Jeff asked: “So what’s your proposition?”
Glinda flashed the man a pearly smile. “I propose a trade.”
Jeff frowned and something within the pit of his stomach stirred. He didn’t like where this was going. “A what?”
The blonde studied her companion. “The glee club will relinquish its control of the study room if you give us Annie.”
There was only silence as Jeff blinked. “What the hell?”
Instead of directly answering, Glinda explained: “When you all substituted for us during the Christmas pageant - seriously if I ever find out who sent in that anonymous tip, I will destroy them - I recognized through watching the DVD that some of you actually had potential. Annie is a decent performer, Jeff. She’s a prime candidate for glee club, not to mention that it would look extra impressive on her resume. Should she decide to join, of course.”
Jeff frowned. “And why don’t you just ask her yourself?”
Glinda smiled sadly. “She’d never leave you.” When Jeff remained silent, the young woman added: “And you know that, don’t you?”
The man merely shifted in his seat.
“I’m offering her a chance to explore her other talents, Jeff. And to be honest, time apart from the group will make it easier for her once you graduate. She’d stop relying solely on the group for support.” Glinda studied Jeff’s face and licked her lips before leaning forward. “I know you want what’s best for her, Winger. You apparently care about her more than you let on. If we were in a musical, you two would have sung a poignant but mellow duet to each other by now.” After a pause, the woman finished: “You’re a good guy, Jeff. Do what’s right.”
“You don’t know me,” Jeff insisted, voice low in his throat.
The woman across from him sighed. “That may be true. And as much as you hate me, I also know what you should do. And so do you. Tell you what - I’ll give you until the end of the day to come up with an answer.” Rising from the table, Glinda patted Jeff’s shoulder and pranced out of the cafeteria.
Jeff merely groaned.
-----
“Plot twist,” Abed mumbled as Jeff concluded describing his encounter with Glinda to the study group.
Annie frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “You told her no, right?”
Jeff visibly winced and Annie’s mouth fell open with a gasp.
Britta smacked the former lawyer on the shoulder. “Jeff,” she scolded. “You can’t just sell Annie into slavery.” (Here, Troy and Shirley raised eyebrows but said nothing). “Especially not to the glee club.”
“Britta,” Jeff emphasized, “do you want to study in the supply closet for the rest of the year?”
The group examined their surroundings. It was the first day back of classes and all of the study rooms were already booked for the remainder of the day. It was absurd, they had argued to the on-duty librarian. Who even had classes to study for, anyway?
Shirley frowned and fiddled with the zipper on her purse. “It doesn’t matter where we study,” she insisted. “As long as we’re together.”
Pierce nodded. “I agree with Shirley in this case.” The man gently stroked Shirley’s shoulders and the woman retracted her arm slowly with disgust.
“Guys,” Annie addressed, “has everyone forgotten that I have a say in this too?”
“Annie,” Jeff began, “maybe Glinda is right.”
Troy blinked rapidly and held up a hand. “Dude, I’m sorry, but are you sure you aren’t the Jeff from an evil timeline?” After craning his neck to study something, the athlete shook his head. “Nah, never mind - you still have both arms.”
Annie shook her head at Troy before refocusing her attention on Jeff. She lowered her voice in worry. “You don’t actually think I should leave the group.” After a pause, the brunette’s eyes widened, and she asked even quieter: “Do you?”
There was complete silence as Annie stared at Jeff with curiosity and a bit of fear.
“No,” the man assured quietly. He smiled sadly and sighed. “I just worry that… I don’t know… you guys will realize one day that this group is toxic and that there are better people out there for you, and that all of our four years was a waste.”
Annie and Shirley cooed.
“Jeff,” the latter began, “I’ve been on the other side - with that group of women our first year here - and despite our obvious religious and moral differences - ” (Britta made a sour face when Shirley looked in her direction) “ - I realize that what we have is special, and it should be cherished.”
Jeff’s forehead wrinkled in concentration. “So, let me get this straight,” he began, “even after Pierce pantsed you, even after I took an axe to the study room table, even after Annie nearly caused us to retake Spanish, even after Chang was almost let into the study group, you still want to be a part of this group?”
Shirley nodded. “We’re family,” she said simply.
Britta smiled. “Yeah. We kind of are, aren’t we?”
“Before this gets so sentimental that I can’t properly reciprocate,” Abed started, “can we devise a plan to get our room back? The floor isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”
Troy’s eyes widened. “I literally have the world’s greatest plan.” When the group failed to react, the young athlete grinned. “What’s one thing we’re really awesome at?”
-----
It was nearly 5 P.M. when Shirley’s station wagon and Jeff’s Lexus swung into the parking lot of the Greendale Paintball Facility. The seven study group members stepped out of their respective cars, decked head-to-toe in black apparel. Annie adjusted the red bandana around her arm and glared across the parking lot at an approaching blonde woman.
Jeff instinctively moved toward Annie as the two groups met one another.
“Ragtag study group,” Glinda addressed with a smirk.
Britta sneered. “Wannabe Glee star.”
A red-headed young woman with curls rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone think we watch that show? We hate Glee.”
“Yeah,” Thaddeus echoed, “it’s like, worse than watching the E! network.”
“Well, as much as I would love to discuss the merits of television shows,” Jeff scoffed, “we have a game to play.”
Glinda smiled. “So we agree - last man standing takes the study room and - ” The blonde paused and eyed Annie. “ - Edison.”
Annie glared right through the young woman and clenched her fists. “Deal.”
The red-haired young woman beamed. “Then let the games begin.”
-----
Troy sulked toward the safe zone, removing his helmet from his head and throwing it on the ground. From the sidelines, Shirley, Pierce, and Abed shook their heads sadly.
As the athlete sunk onto the bench, Shirley asked: “What happened?”
Troy glared into the distance, past the maze of paint-covered obstacles and walls. “It was their three-part harmony. It was so…good. I had to listen!”
“They were singing ‘Grenade,’ weren’t they?” Abed asked.
The young man groaned and nodded before looking up at the sky and yelling: “Dam you, Bruno Mars! Damn you!”
“So that leaves Brittles, Jeff, and Annie?” Pierce asked. When the group members nodded, the elderly man groaned. “We’re screwed.”
“From what I can gather,” Abed began slowly, “Meagan, Thaddeus, and Glinda are the only three glee club members that we didn’t take out yet. That means we still have a shot.”
Shirley shook her head and clutched her paintball mask closer to her body. “Abed,” she started, “I don’t like those odds. We’re going to lose our room. And Annie.”
Abed shook his head in determination and gazed stonily into the distance. “Jeff won’t let that happen,” he assured. Shirley bit her lip, and the young man repeated: “Jeff won’t let that happen.”
-----
“I resent that!” she yelled toward the paintball arena. “Do you hear me?”
Britta’s chest heaved in and out as she stormed to the sidelines. The rest of the study group looked up, nervousness apparent on each of their faces.
Wincing as she sat beside him, Troy asked: “Do I want to know what happened?”
The blonde groaned. “It was that Thaddeus kid. He pissed me off because he started talking about how he couldn’t believe I hadn’t ruined the paintball game yet since I’m such a ruiner and - ”
“ - so you what?” Troy hysterically cried. “Proved him right?”
Britta smacked the young man’s shoulder before burying her face in her hands. “I lost my cool and left my hiding spot. And he shot me.” The young woman swallowed hard and looked at the rest of the group. “I’m sorry guys. It’s not looking good out there.”
Abed frowned and looked at the piece of paper he had been scribbling on for the last minute or so. “If my calculations are correct, Jeff and Annie are still in the game, right?”
Britta nodded. “We were hiding together.”
The film student smiled. “Glinda is the only one left. We’re two to one on the glee club. We still have a chance to win.”
Shirley looked up at the sky. “Oh, sweet Lord,” she began, “let us kick that little witch’s ass.”
-----
The group saw her trudge toward the sidelines and collectively groaned.
“Oh Annie,” Shirley cooed, face contorted with worry.
Abed frowned. “You’re out?” he asked.
Annie sighed and removed her paintball helmet and mask. “Jeff and I got into a debate over who would take Glinda out. He didn’t want me to chance it, so he told me to stay hidden. But I told him that in case he had forgotten, I was more than capable of taking people out. And he said - ”
“ - cut to the part where you tell us something important,” Troy remarked.
Annie shot him a look before sighing. “So I ended up moving from our hiding spot to find her, and when I rounded a corner, I heard a shot. She got my back. It’s almost like she knew we would be fighting and that I’d storm off. I swear, that girl is - ”
“Wait,” Abed interrupted. The young man rose from his seat, forehead creasing in a deep frown. “You said she shot you in the back.”
“Well yeah,” Annie responded. She appeared puzzled. “I heard it. And then she started singing ‘We are the Champions.’ Honestly, it - ”
Eyes widened, Abed grabbed Annie by the shoulders and spun her around so that her back was to the group. The remaining members gasped. Craning her neck, the brunette attempted to discover the source of their disbelief. “What?” she asked. “What happened? Am I bleeding or something? Oh God, tell me that I’m not bleeding.”
Britta rose from the bench. “You’re not hit,” she assured quietly. When Annie frowned, the blonde emphasized: “At all.”
Annie’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Wait - what?”
Eyes still wide, Abed paced the ground. “It was a ruse,” he declared. “It was a way to get you out of the game. She must have known that she could never take you down herself. She probably brought a set of blanks along,” the young man continued, now speeding through his sentence. “So she made you think that you were shot so she could take out Jeff and win.” Pausing, Abed declared: “You’re still in the game.”
-----
He knew it was going to come down to the two of them.
Somehow, he just had this gut feeling that when he rounded the corner, she’d already be waiting for him - gun drawn, and probably humming some crappy mash-up of “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and another 80s-driven song while she assaulted him with paintball pellets.
The weight in his stomach dropped. He lost the group. He lost Annie. Over a stupid paintball match, no less.
But when Jeff crept around the corner of a giant metal structure, he frowned. She was nowhere in sight. His relief was momentary as he felt the barrel of a gun press into his protective armor.
“Looking for me, sweetie?”
Jeff turned around and met Glinda’s smirk with a countenance of defeat. “Go ahead,” he insisted. “Shoot me.”
The blonde removed her helmet and mask and shook her hair. “Now why would I do that?” she asked, gun still aimed directly at the center of the former lawyer’s chest.
Jeff frowned. “Isn’t that what you want? To take our room from us? To take Annie from us?”
Glinda clucked her tongue. “Winger,” she began, “you really never learn.” Narrowing her eyes at him, she gestured to the gun still in Jeff’s hand. “Drop your weapon.” When the man merely stared, Glinda raised her weapon. “Drop your gun or I’ll shoot you right now.”
Jeff momentarily contemplated before lowering his gun to the ground. Glinda smiled and began to slowly walk in a circle around Jeff as she spoke. “Jeff, your study group is famous at our school, so I’ve come to learn quite a few things about you. The first thing is this: you have come to a point where you need the study group more than they need you.”
The man swallowed.
Glinda continued. “And the most unfair and selfish thing you can possibly do is to keep them with you because you need them. Friendship is a two-way street, Jeff.”
“I know that,” he retorted.
Glinda raised her gun. “Really?” she spat. “Are you sure about that? Are you sure that you know what it means to care about someone - to really care about them - and to come to terms with that?” The blonde paused. “I don’t think you’ve come to terms with it, Jeff. I don’t think you’ve accepted your love for everyone in your study group.” Glinda sighed. “Do you know how many glee clubs I’ve been a part of, Jeff?”
The man raised an eyebrow. “Is my answer going to potentially get me shot?”
Glinda rolled her eyes and paused directly in front of Jeff. “Seven,” she said simply. “I’ve been in seven different glee clubs in my college career. Do you know why they all failed?”
“Too many Journey medleys?” the man offered.
Glinda chuckled. Suddenly though, her face grew serious. “It’s because we never became a true family. Sure, we all loved each other in a you’re-so-talented-I-hope-you-get-the-solo-but-not-really-because-I’m-better way.” Glinda swallowed. “We never took the time to really care about each other. And then when we did…it was too late. We had said and done things we couldn’t take back.”
Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. “You have no idea what we’ve been through together.” The man pointed toward where the safety zone for his team was. “Those six people over there? They’re the closest thing to family I’ve ever had. And yeah, you’re right - maybe I’m being selfish in not wanting to lose any of them. Maybe I’m convinced that if we all stay together somehow life will be less crappy. Or maybe not even less crappy - maybe it’s just that I want us to need each other. Because when we stop needing each other, life gets downright terrifying.”
The former lawyer paused, forehead wrinkled in concentration. Where had that come from? His therapist hadn’t even been able to get that out of him.
“And what about Annie?” Glinda asked, lowering her gun to her side momentarily. “I’ve been where she’s been, Jeff. You might think that I’m an evil, conniving witch for blackmailing you into getting her to join us.” Here, the young woman paused and sighed. “And maybe I am… I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not fair to string along a perfectly wonderful young woman like that.”
Anger bubbled in Jeff’s chest and he pointed a finger at Glinda. “You have no idea what it’s like, okay? You don’t know what it’s like to care about someone and know that they deserve better than you.”
Jeff paused suddenly. Okay, seriously… where the hell was this stuff coming from? Was Glinda some therapist slash highly-skilled operative trainer in feelings?
Glinda smiled sadly in response. “Jeff,” she began, “like I said earlier - your study group is kind of famous. Dean Pelton almost didn’t let us have the study room because he adores you all too much.” Biting her lip, the blonde continued: “I’ve been where she’s been. I know what it’s like to wait around for someone to tell you how they really feel - no subtext, no assumptions, no crap like that.”
Jeff’s face softened as Glinda fought back tears. “What happened?” he asked gently.
The young woman’s sad smile reappeared. “He moved. I spent a year of my life wondering if he felt the same way I did.” Glinda wiped a tear and laughed. “Sometimes I think I was in a one-sided relationship, you know?”
The man swallowed and looked down at the ground. “Look, Glinda maybe…maybe that guy was just a tool. Or maybe he just didn’t want to screw things up with you. Maybe he was afraid of his track record, or afraid you’d…”
“That’s why, isn’t it?” the blonde asked. “You’re afraid.” When Jeff adverted his eyes from Glinda, the young woman took a step forward: “Speaking as someone who has literally been there, I highly suggest making your feelings clear. Before it’s too late.”
There was a momentary lapse of silence. Glinda frowned and looked to the right. The blonde smiled and raised her gun. “And now, Jeff,” she explained. “It’s time we end this.”
Jeff dove to the ground to retrieve his gun, but a shot was fired before he had clasped a hand around the grip. Just as he raised his head from the ground, twelve figures rushed in.
“Jeff, Annie’s not - ”
Abed paused and frowned, looking between Glinda and Jeff. “Wait - what happened?” he asked.
Glinda motioned to her leg which was spattered with pink paint. “He got me,” the blonde assured. Looking Jeff squarely in the eye, she said: “He won.”
The study group unanimously cheered, while the Greendale glee club’s shoulders seemed to slump immediately. Glinda knelt down to pick up her gun and sighed. “I guess you guys win,” she conceded. The young woman extended a hand to Annie. “Good game.”
The brunette eyed Glinda’s hand and then quickly looked to Jeff for guidance. The man, now rising to his feet, nodded once. Annie forced a smile and shook the young woman’s hand.
“All right,” Britta insisted, grinning. “Time to celebrate!”
“Ooh,” Shirley cooed, “I have brownie mix at home!”
Britta raised an eyebrow before shrugging. As the two groups began to retreat, Jeff called out: “Hey, Annie?”
The young woman in question turned around, head tilted to the side with curiosity.
Jeff looked between the brunette and Glinda, and he smiled. “Can you wait in the safe zone? I’ll be out in a minute.”
Annie’s eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, but she genuinely smiled. “Sure.”
Slowly, students filtered out of the area, leaving only Jeff and Glinda. The man scooped up his supplies and leaned against a paint-stained pillar. “What was that?”
Glinda pursed her lips together and smiled coyly. “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”
Jeff laid a hand on Glinda’s arm gently and the young woman looked up at him. “Why did you do that?” he asked. “You shot yourself so we’d win.”
“I guess,” she admitted, “I never got my chance with that guy, years ago. Our story’s over, you know?” After a pause, Glinda smiled. “I’m giving you an opportunity to make right. So don’t blow it.”
With a wink, the blonde reached for Jeff’s hand and squeezed once. As she turned to walk out of the area, Jeff spoke up: “Hey Glinda.” The young woman turned around in curiosity. Jeff’s face stretched into a smirk and he finished: “You’re not too bad for a glee club member.”
Glinda laughed, eyes glittering. “I’ll see you at Sectionals,” she insisted. When Jeff looked panic-stricken, the woman amended: “In the audience.” And with a laugh, she turned on her heels and walked away.
Jeff shook his head and walked toward the safety zone where Annie was seated on the bench, playing with her bandana.
“Hi,” he began, approaching the bench. When Annie opened her mouth to speak, the man held a hand up: “Look… can we talk, or something?”
Annie frowned. “About what?” Blue eyes growing wide with worry, she lowered her voice: “Are you mad at me?”
Jeff shook his head furiously. “No, no. I, uh… just think it’d be good to talk. About stuff. You know.” As the brunette opened her mouth, perhaps to protest or ask more about the nature of this discussion, Jeff concluded: “Denny’s sound good?”
The young woman’s eyes flickered over Jeff who was smiling slightly. “Sure,” she affirmed. “Denny’s sounds good.”
“Good,” Jeff decided. “It’s a date.”
The former lawyer turned on his heels and walked back to his car with a smirk, as Annie fully registered his remark. She opened and shut her mouth quickly, eyebrows furrowed in thought. But then, slowly, her lips stretched into a genuine smile and a soft blush appeared on her cheeks. And she rose swiftly from the bench before skipping ahead and falling into step with Jeff.
-----