Here's all the hits that'll keep your toes tap-tap-tapping.
I was checking out random journals, link surfing and being a nosey fuckwad- nothing new there- and I figured something out. There are some stupid mutha fuckas around these here parts, buckaroos. What's with all this asterisk shit?
*gets up from the computer and heads to the john, dropping trow and lets it rip. Uses ex-girlfriend's shirt that doubles as a rag to wipe up spillage*
What is that shit? I can't take anyone serious when half their post is: *bites nails and wonder what's up the current state of relations with China* If a picture's worth a thousand words, I'll give you a buck-fifty to sit on your asterisks for an hour. Another things, what's with the flagrant misuse of the English language? I used a big word, score! Guess what? I got a little college under my belt. It's gotta be pretty fucking strenuous to type out "Oh my god". Say it, don't spray it.
Okay, serious shit aside. Let's have some fun. Mike Patton, International Man of Mystery and Misadventure. Mayhem, Muscle spasms, malcontent, malevolence and magniloquence, too. More 50 cent words! Who wants to come over and play Scrabble later? Ok, I'm going to give you the answers to some of the questions that've been posed to me since I landed on this lily pad.
There's no set date, because I haven't finished it yet. Whatever you find on the internet, they're all red herrings.
Hookers and steak.
Twist, pull, yank, tug.
Gein dressed up like Shirley Temple, sitting on my lap and sucking on a lollipop.
If you can guess the questions that go with the answers, booze, brownies, sexual favors, ping pong paddles and gold stars to you. If you can't, you get a ride on the handlebars for a consolation prize. I'm still eating Christmas cookies and leftover fruitcake from last year. I think it's making me hallucinate. Whoever can give me three alternate uses for Crisco gets to watch me take a shower tonight. Party!
*gets up from the computer and heads to the john, dropping trow and lets it rip. Uses ex-girlfriend's shirt that doubles as a rag to wipe up spillage*
What is that shit? I can't take anyone serious when half their post is: *bites nails and wonder what's up the current state of relations with China* If a picture's worth a thousand words, I'll give you a buck-fifty to sit on your asterisks for an hour. Another things, what's with the flagrant misuse of the English language? I used a big word, score! Guess what? I got a little college under my belt. It's gotta be pretty fucking strenuous to type out "Oh my god". Say it, don't spray it.
Okay, serious shit aside. Let's have some fun. Mike Patton, International Man of Mystery and Misadventure. Mayhem, Muscle spasms, malcontent, malevolence and magniloquence, too. More 50 cent words! Who wants to come over and play Scrabble later? Ok, I'm going to give you the answers to some of the questions that've been posed to me since I landed on this lily pad.
There's no set date, because I haven't finished it yet. Whatever you find on the internet, they're all red herrings.
Hookers and steak.
Twist, pull, yank, tug.
Gein dressed up like Shirley Temple, sitting on my lap and sucking on a lollipop.
If you can guess the questions that go with the answers, booze, brownies, sexual favors, ping pong paddles and gold stars to you. If you can't, you get a ride on the handlebars for a consolation prize. I'm still eating Christmas cookies and leftover fruitcake from last year. I think it's making me hallucinate. Whoever can give me three alternate uses for Crisco gets to watch me take a shower tonight. Party!