let us be a head and not a fish
HAPPY JEW YEAR, HEATHENS.
That's right, today is Rosh ha'Shana-the Jewish New Year! I'm just coming from a big family dinner full of fish and chicken and soup and quiche and a thousand, thousand salads. I'm not even kidding. Every relative brought some kind of vegetable homage; I think our combined forces buckled the agricultural market. Surely there are now a dozen barren fields in the country, robbed of their carrots, their lettuce, their tomatoes and cabbage and zuchinni. Tomorrow, the market stalls shall be bare. The vegetarians among us will cry out in anguish, mourning their primary food source, and claw at their stomach in desperately pained hunger.
That, my friends, is the power of the farmers. What the kibbutznik giveth, the kibbutznik taketh away.
Rosh ha'Shana (lit. head of the year, year's head) is a fairly minor holiday, at least in non-religious circles, and the family gathering is a very low-pressure event. I didn't bother dressing up. My casual wear is very casual indeed:
MUM: Oh, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong address; yoga classes are next door.
MIARR: Look, you said to wear white, okay? This is white.
MUM: It's fisherman pants and a tank top. It's not festive.
MIARR: Good thing I'm a naturally festive person, then!
MUM: There's only so much your exuberant nature can do.
MIARR: I beg to differ! No limit to willpower and sheer joie de vivre.
MUM: Don't you want to start a new year looking nice?
MIARR: I want to start the new year doing sun salutations. Possibly moving up to headstands later on.
MUM: Suit yourself-but then you're cleaning and washing up, because the rest of us are dressed too nicely. We can't risk being dirtied.
MIARR: Wait, what?
MUM: You heard me.
MIARR: But-no!
MUM: Oh yes.
MIARR: But-
MUM: (points to own shirt) This is a 150-shekel shirt.
MIARR: But-damnation! (sorrowfully) Cruel is the price of comfort.
Not that I'm complaining or anything. Nobody is physically capable of complaining, after so much good food. Besides, the vegetarians probably have it worse.