The Edge of Darkness (5/7)

[mialoco]

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

The next morning Arthur had gone with Merlin searching out herbs that Merlin said he needed to make some potions to help Constantine, who had started yelling gibberish with that glassy eyed look that Arthur had seen too much of. He had also had a few convulsions. Arthur knew that Merlin was as worried about the boy now as Arthur was, but both refused to voice their concerns, as if that could keep the truth of the matter at bay. Having mixed and brewed most of the afternoon Merlin now had several of the empty vials he had collected in Ascetir before they left filled again. He was explaining to Hunith how to mix and administer it to Constantine when he started shaking and stopped talking. Arthur, who had been sitting near jumped forward out of his seat and caught him as he fell. Lowering Merlin to the ground as he had watched Merlin do to children in Ascetir, Arthur ran his finger into his mouth to make sure that he was not biting his tongue. He placed him on his side in case he began to vomit and moved the bench out of the way so he would not knock against it in his thrashing. Wiping the sweaty hair out of Merlin's eyes, he happened to look up at a horrified Hunith, now kneeling on the other side of Merlin clutching Constantine, who was blessedly quiet for the moment.

"Just don't get close enough for him to hurt you. We will just have to let it run its course. He should stop soon." Arthur reassured the frightened woman, though he could feel his heart galloping in his chest.

He had barely stopped speaking when Merlin stopped thrashing around. Soon even the shaking was becoming less and he opened his eyes.

"Sorry." He said looking guilty.

"Oh, Merlin," Hunith shifted Constantine to run a hand over Merlin's face.

"You should have told us that you were feeling unwell." Arthur could not help but scold.

"I have not been feeling sick. I have just been having some headaches and running to the privy." Merlin's voice was scratchy and he was rubbing his booted feet together oddly.

Arthur immediately tugged off both of Merlin's boots and rolled his socks off him. "Are your feet burning?" He questioned as he picked up a bare foot and inspected each toe carefully, and then repeated it with the other.

"Just tingly" Merlin muttered.

"What is it?" Hunith questioned with even more fear in her voice as Arthur expelled a sigh of relief.

"Some of the people of Ascetir complained of burning in limbs, they then began to get gangrene and later the appendage would fall off without shedding one drop of blood." Arthur explained, while pushing Merlin back down as he tried to sit up. "Just lie there a few minutes then I'll help you up," He all but ordered Merlin before directing his attention back at Hunith. "He does not seem to have the black dots that the other victims I saw had."

As Arthur had been talking, he had started to put Merlin's socks and boots back onto his feet. He chose to ignore the smile that Hunith did not quite manage to hide before she rose and turned away to lay the now sleeping Constantine on the pallet he had been sleeping on near her bed. Arthur supposed that it was amusing to see the Crown Prince of Camelot in a reversal of roles, removing and replacing the clothing of his manservant. He ducked his head before anyone could see the blush that he could feel rushing up his neck to his face as that last thought sent a meaning of a different kind skittering through his head. To distract his wayward thoughts he started speaking to Merlin while still keeping his head down as if fastening boots took all his attention. “I want you to write down the instructions for all the potions for Constantine then, for good measure, include instructions for dosages for yourself. Then I want you to write the herbs needed for the potions and instructions for making them. Better yet, you talk and I will write."

He finally allowed himself to look at Merlin as he offered his hand to help him sit up, then after waiting a moment for Merlin to get his bearings; he pulled him to his feet and helped him to sit on the bench at the table. He did not like the pale look that Merlin had about him, but he had seen the children playing after one of those convulsions as if nothing was wrong with them.

"What do you expect me to write it on?" Merlin asked him in that tone that Arthur should never allow. "It is not like we are able to buy stacks of parchment in Ealdor. Most of the people here have probably never seen parchment."

"Well, don't you have a slate that you practiced your letters on?" Arthur asked. The glance that Merlin shared with Hunith, who had returned to the table to stand behind him with her hand on his shoulder, confused Arthur.

"I used a stick to write on the ground outside by the chopping block or near the edge of the field when Mother was working." Merlin clarified for him.

Arthur could tell that Merlin was not ashamed of the fact that he had learned his letters on the ground instead of in a classroom on slate because no one in his village was any different. Arthur had to admit that their ingenuity was inspiring. Not many peasants ever learned to read or write in the first place.

"I have some paper that I made and pressed so that I might write to you occasionally." Hunith told them quietly. “You will have to burn a stick on the coals to write with because I have no ink."

"Wonderful." Arthur praised, hoping that he had not embarrassed the humble woman that treated him so kindly for her lack of proper writing tools. Actually, the people of this village constantly surprised him with their ability to get by on what was around them. It might not be as fine as Arthur was accustomed to, but when they had a need, they seemed to find a way to fill it.

"Now Merlin, if you will?” he said, once the homemade paper and the charred stick were in front of him. As Merlin spoke, he wrote. He had to stop frequently to char the stick some more, but the list was soon done. He could tell that Merlin's strength was flagging, even though he was trying not to let it show. "Now that we have that accomplished, I suggest that we eat some of that delicious smelling stew and bed down ourselves while Constantine is sleeping as we don't know how long that we will have before he is up again."

Merlin seemed relieved as Hunith moved toward the shelf that she kept the bowls on. Arthur moved to the bucket of water, dipped out a cup full for each of them, and brought it to the table. Hunith told them about the upcoming marriage of two of Merlin's childhood friends as they ate to take their minds off what had just happened. Merlin seemed to find it all hilarious because the two had seemed to hate each other all during their childhood. He told Arthur of some of the slightly malicious pranks the two used to pull on each other. The laughter relieved some of the earlier tension. Soon they were finished and Hunith scooped up the dishes to clean as Arthur tagged along with Merlin to the privy to make sure that he made it safely then walked to the chopping block to give him some privacy. When Merlin came out, Arthur jumped and went to meet him only to have Merlin wave him off when he tried to assist him. When they neared the chopping block, Merlin plunked down beside it on the ground and motioned for Arthur to resume his seat on the block.

"Arthur, I have been thinking about it and I think that it might be for the best if you return to Ascetir in the morning and meet up with your men. I'll stay here with Mother and help out as much as I can with Constantine."

Arthur felt as if he had just taken a blow to his chest as the thought of leaving Merlin and Constantine behind in this condition hit him. "No." He almost shouted before pausing and trying to get more control. "No." This time more quietly. "I am not going anywhere until you are better and can go with me. I am not leaving the burden of caring for both you and Constantine on Hunith's shoulders. You are my responsibility now." As Merlin opened his mouth, Arthur hurried to stop what he was going to say. "If I hear any more out of you I shall have to buy a dress from one of these villagers and make you wear it all the way back to Camelot."

Merlin raised both brows, but did not respond for a few minutes. When he did, his voice was so low that Arthur had to lean down toward him to hear. "I have heard people say awful things when the delirium hit them. It scares me that I might say something to you or my mother that would hurt you. I want you to know that I would never knowingly hurt either of you. Please ignore everything that comes out of my mouth."

Arthur put a finger over Merlin's mouth to stop him. "I too have heard some of the children. I know that they did not know what they were saying. I promise not to hold anything you say against you. I know that it is not you, but the sickness talking. I will make sure that Hunith knows that, also. Now, let's get some sleep while we have a chance."

* * * * *

Arthur awoke with a start and swiveled his eyes around without appearing to be awake to see if he could find what had awakened him. Then it came again and he realized that Merlin was thrashing and gurgling beside him. He quickly leaned over and situated the younger man on his side by feel in the darkness. He ran his hand up Merlin's arm to his jaw and found his mouth only to not be able to pry his teeth open. He got up and headed toward the fireplace hoping the coals were still hot enough to be able to light a twig for the candle instead of having to hunt around in the dark for the striker and get a spark from it. He was in luck and was soon back by Merlin's side where he noticed that Merlin had stopped convulsing and was looking at him with that glassy eyed look that he had seen so often of late.

"Feeling better?" He asked. When Merlin did not answer, Arthur sat down beside him, wiped his hair off his forehead, and kept stroking his head, not knowing what else to do.

"Tired." Merlin mumbled.

"Okay, get some sleep." Arthur told him and stopped the stroking. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Father." Merlin replied causing Arthur to furrow his brow as he looked at the younger man. The periods of delirium had started.

* * * * *

"Only a Dragonlord can kill a dragon," Gaius said standing in front of his father's throne.
"Then we are doomed for all the Dragonlords are dead." said his father.
“I have heard that there is one who dwells in Cenred's Kingdom, Sire. His name is Balinor." Gaius told Uther.
Uther turned to Arthur. "Arthur, you will go in search of this Dragonlord. He is our only hope."
Arthur had been successful in finding the Dragonlord and they were on their way back to Camelot sleeping under the stars.
"Goodnight, Son."
"Sle...sleep well, Father."

Arthur awoke with a start. He lay there listening for a few minutes to see if he heard anything else. All he heard was the soft breathing of someone. He carefully turned his head and could barely make out Merlin's form beside him. The dream had seemed almost as real as it had when it was happening, except he could not understand why he had dreamed of someone saying "Goodnight, son and goodnight, Father." Had that been a memory, too? No, there was no one there in the clearing but Merlin and Balinor. Merlin had been lying near him as usual and Balinor had been sleeping on the other side of the fire. He turned on his side and tried to find a more comfortable position. Before he could puzzle out the meaning of the dream, he was fast asleep.

* * * * *

The next day Merlin had spent a lot of time running to the privy between a few bouts of convulsions and delirium. Arthur was always close to his side fearing that he would go into convulsions and fall, hurting himself. Constantine had also had a few bouts and had still been crying a lot, but he no longer had diarrhea. Looking over at his manservant sleeping on the floor, he realized that Merlin would probably be sleeping on the pallet for the next several days. He jumped up from the table and headed for the door.

"I will be back soon, Hunith. I need to gather some provisions." He told the woman still sitting at the table trying to spoon broth into the boy.

The first thing Arthur did was find someone to send to Ascetir with a message to Sir Kay that he would be longer than he had planned. After that, he asked around town until he found what he was looking for. From one of the women he bought a woven cloth big enough to make a curtain. From a farmer he purchased straw. He hired two women, who were seamstresses that he was told worked quickly and did good work. From another man he acquired a length of oiled cloth big enough to drape over branches and keep rain off. Following directions from one of the villagers, he disappeared into the woods for a while. Returning to Hunith's house, he piled his load of moss against the wall near the curtain giving easy access from either side then set about measuring Merlin and using the dagger from his boot to cut several smaller pieces from the large piece of oiled cloth.

Hunith walked around the curtain from putting Constantine down on his pallet and getting him to sleep to give Arthur a questioning look, but her face quickly cleared as what he was doing dawned on her. She hurriedly grabbed the bucket and headed out of the house. Since the bucket was over half-full, Arthur supposed that the fact that they would probably need the supplies that he had gathered soon had upset Merlin's mother. He started to rise to go comfort her, but realized that someone needed to be there in case Merlin or Constantine had another seizure. He reseated himself and continued with his self-appointed chore.

Arthur had completed his preparations by the time Hunith came back. She set about getting them some food on the table for the evening meal. "Do you think that will be necessary?" she asked, tilting her head toward the moss and oiled cloth that Arthur had set aside.

"I hope not." Arthur told her as he laid his hand over hers on the table. "I have just learned that it is better to plan and prepare for the worst than to be caught out and have to make do." He gave her hand a squeeze. "Merlin will trudge out to that privy until he can't make it anymore even with my help before he will resort to a chamber pot." He drew a deep breath and sighed. "I have seen how weak some of the people have become who have been sick with this illness and how much time they spend unconscious. Before he gets to that point I am going to use the same methods on him that he used on Constantine for the trip." He glanced toward his sleeping manservant. "His pride may take a beating over it, but I hope to make it a lighter blow than some of the other alternatives."

A knock on the door had Arthur jumping up to answer it before Hunith could get to her feet. He took the small pile of folded cloth handed to him then stepped back for the two men to bring in the new mattress they were carrying and place it on the floor near Merlin. On the top was a smaller mattress. Arthur gave each of the men a coin and ushered them out the door. He placed the pile of cloth on a bench then went over to place a piece of oiled cloth on the mattress. He bent to Merlin, slid his hands under the bedding at his manservant's shoulders and under his knees, and lifted him, bedding and all, onto the new mattress. As he started to straighten the bedding a bit, Hunith was there to help. Arthur picked up the smaller mattress he had moved aside and went toward Constantine to do the same. When the child was settled onto his tiny mattress, he returned to the table where Hunith had sat back down and was giving him a tearful smile.

"I know that they will spend a lot of time on that floor in the coming days, though perhaps the time won't be so long for Constantine now. I wanted it to be as comfortable as possible for them."

Hunith smiled softly back at him. "Even though it is still early, I think we should get some sleep while we can. We didn't get much last night and I fear that tonight will be more of the same."

It was Arthur's turn to nod as he picked up his bowl and washed it.

"You don't have to do your own dishes, Arthur." Hunith told him.

"While we have two sick people to care for I think it is best if we forget that I am a Prince and share the load." Arthur replied. "If you do everything, it will wear you down enough that you may become sick yourself. What would I do with three sick people to care for?" Arthur did not wait for an answer as he went to get his pallet and stretch it out on the floor beside Merlin's new mattress. Arthur gave up on the idea of propriety and lay down with his head the same direction as Merlin, well within reach of his manservant if needed.

It felt as if Arthur had just drifted off to sleep when the sounds that Merlin was making woke him. Arthur went through the procedures that he was becoming much too familiar with to insure that Merlin did not hurt himself, choke, or bite his tongue. Walking to the fire to light a small twig in order to light the candle, he noticed that the fire had died down quite a bit which meant he had probably gotten a couple hours sleep, though it didn't feel like it. Taking the candle over to Merlin's mattress, he noticed that his open eyes did not seem to have the glazed look that they often did after a seizure.

"Where did this come from?" Merlin asked, motioning to the mattress.

"I had it made for you today. You will probably be spending a bit of time on the floor for the next few days. I didn't want you getting too sore to move when you are better." Arthur answered him.

Merlin held his hand out to him and Arthur took it. "I need to go to the privy."

Arthur pulled Merlin up to a sitting position. "How about using the chamber pot this time and wait until daylight for the privy?" Arthur asked.

"Arthur, no, not until I have to." Merlin looked horrified.

Arthur pulled Merlin to his feet then reached around his waist to steady him. They started the trek to the outside privy. Merlin had to sit down on the chopping block before he could go on. Arthur thought he needed to sit longer, but evidently his body made that impossible. They finally got to the privy and Arthur reached down to loosen Merlin's breeches before he left him, ignoring the gasp and the hands that reached down to try to bat his away.

"Look, you are already exhausted so I can do this faster than you and I think there is a need for speed at the moment." He tried to reassure Merlin.

Finished with the laces he shut the door. "Call me when you are ready to go back," he ordered through the door. "I'll be on the chopping block."

He heard a murmur that sounded like Merlin had told him that was just where his head should be, but chose to ignore it. Merlin was not in a mood for banter.

After some time he heard Merlin call his name and he bounded for the door. Merlin almost fell out into his arms just as he got there. When he was sure that Merlin was not going to crumple to the ground, he put one hand on the nearest forearm and one arm around his waist. The trip back was more laborious than the one out. Merlin again had to sit on the chopping block. This time he took quite some time before he was ready to go on. Arthur was afraid that he was going to have to carry him before they finally got back inside and to the mattress.

"Do you want something to eat?" Arthur asked. Hunith had taken to leaving broth simmering near the fire to be ready any time Constantine was awake.

"No, I just want to sleep." Merlin responded.

Arthur stooped to pull off Merlin's boots. He had taken to sleeping in them when he was too exhausted to go on because he never wanted to take the time to put them on when he had to go to the privy. Arthur was determined that this would be the last trip to the privy until Merlin regained some strength.

Arthur picked up the top cloth that he had left on the bench and shook it out. He brought the nightshirt over to Merlin and sat him up once again. "I think it will be easier for us all if you wear one of these for a few days." He explained to his servant as he pulled his tunic off over his head and settled the new calf-length shirt into place. He let Merlin lie back onto the mattress then unlaced his breeches again. Taking advantage of the long slits he had requested, he pulled the top of the nightshirt below Merlin's knees leaving the back part folded up high behind his back and gave the breeches a tug, slipping them off over his feet. He pulled the blankets back up around Merlin's shoulders and noticed that he had already dropped off to sleep from exhaustion. Deciding to take advantage of Merlin being asleep, he picked up one of the oiled cloths he had cut, padded it with moss, put a softer piece of fabric over it and slid it into position beside Merlin on the mattress. Moving to the other side, he lifted Merlin a bit in the middle and used his other hand to pull the pad into place under him. Merlin burrowed into the bedding, but did not wake. At least now, if he were too weak to get up it would be easier to care for him without ruining everything.

Constantine started whimpering just as Arthur was about to drift off to sleep. He got up, lit another candle from the fire, and met Hunith just as she was ducking around the curtain. She thanked him for the candle and returned behind the curtain. He heard her change the baby then start rocking him, humming softly. He was asleep in minutes.

It was still dark when sounds woke Arthur. He rose up and looked around only to see the white of Merlin's gown going through the door.

Catching himself before he called out Merlin's name and woke everyone else, he leaped to his feet and took off out the door. He found Merlin clinging to the side of the house and moving as quickly as he was able, but it was obvious he wasn't going to make his destination. Arthur scooped the other man up in his arms, surprised that what looked like a bag of bones could be so heavy. He deposited Merlin in the privy and waited outside as had become their habit, approving his decision to dress Merlin in the gown so that they didn't have to deal with laces.

When Merlin called his name, Arthur picked him up and carried him back to the house. It was a testament to how weak Merlin was that he didn't even protest, simply laid his head on Arthur's shoulder until he was deposited back on his mattress.

When Arthur had deposited Merlin on the mattress, he took the time to take off his socks. It had rained earlier and Arthur had mud squishing between his toes so he knew that Merlin's socks were wet and filthy. Instead of fumbling through Merlin's pack for clean socks Arthur simply lit a candle from the fire and looked for socks in is own pack. He took one of the cloths that he and Hunith kept at the ready and poured a bit of water in a basin to wash Merlin's feet. Bringing the candle near so he could check for black spots while he was doing so, he felt a rush of relief when he didn't find any of the tell tale spots.

He washed his own muddy feet with the cloth then sat the water near the fire. Seeking out Hunith's homemade washing soap on the sideboard he set to work washing Merlin's socks and hanging them near the fire so that they would be dry the next time he needed them. As cold as his feet were staying he would need to wear them all the time and they had both brought a very limited supply.

The next morning when Arthur and Hunith were eating their breakfast, Hunith cast a knowing look at the socks Arthur had hung up to dry the night before.

"You are a good man, Arthur Pendragon. Not many men would do so much for a servant and an orphaned boy, even if he wasn't a Prince." Hunith said to him with a smile. "You have a good heart and it will serve you well. You have the makings of being a wonderful King."

"My father seems to think it will be my downfall." Arthur had no idea why he would admit such a thing to anyone, let alone his servant's mother, a peasant woman from another Kingdom.

Hunith was quiet for a moment. "Perhaps your father has never had experience to allow him to see that people will flock to follow a leader that cares about their welfare."

"He tells me that if a King shows too much care that the people perceive it as weakness."

Hunith was quiet for a moment. "It was no secret that your father loved your mother very much, Arthur. We even heard about it. I think that losing her affected him a great deal. That may be why he sees love and caring as a weakness, because he feels that it made him weak and allowed him to be hurt when he lost her. Possibly, had she lived your father would have been a different man, a different King."

"You may be right." Arthur admitted. "He won't talk about my mother, possibly that is why. My father obtained everything he has through power and he has used power to keep it. I am beginning to suspect that he equates caring with losing control and shuns it in himself and me. Maybe there are other ways to rule that are good and effective and he does not know of them or trust them. Merlin tried to tell me that it wasn't what I was doing wrong, but who my father was that caused the problems between us." Arthur couldn't help but laugh at his next thought. At Hunith's questioning raised brows he decided to share his thought. "When I didn't understand it he thought to teach me by trying to draw mead out of a well of water. Even then I didn't understand it; not until right now." Arthur looked up at Hunith. "Perhaps Merlin gets his moments of wisdom from you, but I understand you better I think." Arthur smiled at the woman whose quiet strength he was learning that he admired.

Hunith continued to smile at him. "I am sure that had you been able to have a mother as you grew up you would have had an easier time learning to use your caring side. It would have balanced out your father's teachings. I always felt that Merlin was at a loss growing up without a father to balance what I taught him. It is one reason I sent him to Gaius. I think he has learned a lot from you, too, though."

"I wouldn't dare admit this in front of my father," Arthur told her, "but I've learned a lot from Merlin, too."

"The two of you balance each other. It's as if you are two parts of the same whole. I'm very grateful that Merlin met you, Arthur Pendragon." Hunith stood and kissed him on the forehead the same as he had seen her do to Merlin and then began to wash their dishes as Arthur picked up the water bucket to take to the well and refill as he pondered her words.

* * * * *

Three days later Constantine ate some of the broth that Hunith kept offering him. Hunith and Arthur had looked at each other with a smile the first time the boy had sipped from the offered spoon instead of having it dripped into his mouth and his throat rubbed to make him swallow. Arthur had not had close contact with the sick people in Camelot that recovered and none had recovered in Ascetir when he was there, but he was sure this was a sign that Constantine was recovering. He planned to ask Merlin the next time he was awake and lucid. Arthur didn't like acknowledging that those times were becoming less frequent and lasting for shorter periods of time.

Merlin slept most of the morning away. After putting Constantine down, Hunith had gone out to do a few chores leaving Arthur to watch over the two as they slept. When Merlin started talking Arthur thought he was awake and walked over in case he needed help up.

"The King cannot die. Arthur loves him, he would be lost without him." Arthur frowned then quickly realized that Merlin was delusional. As Merlin continued to talk from gibberish to distorted versions of things that had happened at court Arthur felt helpless. Finally, he just lifted Merlin's head to scoot under it, settle on the mattress, and cradle Merlin's head in his lap, stroking his head while he ranted his nonsense. Hunith found him still sitting there stroking Merlin's head when she returned, though Merlin had not been ranting for the past few minutes.

"Is he worse?" she asked, and Arthur could see the fear in her eyes.

"No, he was just talking out of his head. It seemed to help soothe him." Arthur used his free hand to indicate what he was doing.

"I am sure it did." Hunith smiled her soft smile at him. "He is a bit too big to rock like we did for Constantine when he did that."

Arthur had to grin back at her as he thought about rocking Merlin, but the idea seemed to catch his imagination and he thought that he might enjoy that. He gently moved out from under Merlin's head, settled him back on the bed, and went over to where Hunith was sorting out herbs that she had collected.

"It is good to see that Constantine ate this morning." Arthur said as he sat down at the table.

"Yes," Hunith smiled toward him before continuing her sorting. "It is. I think the worst is past with that little one. I hope that it bodes well for Merlin."

Before Arthur could answer her, Merlin started talking again. "Hunith is my mother. I'm your son. No, Father! Father don't die; please don't die."

Arthur had risen to go to Merlin, but never made it there before Merlin stopped talking and seemed to settle down. He turned to head back to the table only to see Hunith's face had paled and tears were streaming down it. Arthur went to her pulling her into his arms to comfort her. The action did not seem as awkward to him as he usually found it. It was as if he too found comfort from the embrace. After a few minutes, she seemed to regain her composure and stepped back out of his arms to dry her eyes on her apron. "I know he does not know what he is saying, but it hurts me so much to see him like this."

"I know it does." Arthur answered her softly. "He'll pull through though. You'll see. We have been through a lot together since he came to Camelot and I have found that Merlin is a lot tougher than he looks."

Hunith forced a smile at him. "Yes, you are right. I must believe that he will be fine soon."

The conversation stopped short when they heard a distinct "Mum-mum" from behind the curtain.

Hunith put a hand over her mouth and almost ran to pick up Constantine. Arthur heard her talking to the little boy as she changed him. When Hunith carried the little boy out he had a sunny smile on his face and squealed, "Arrrrtur," holding his little arms toward Arthur. A bemused Arthur reached for the little boy and settled him on his lap, while Hunith busied herself getting some soup cooled for him. Arthur picked up the wooden figure lying on the table that Constantine had been playing with earlier and moved it as if it was loping across the table to him. When it loped right off the table to tickle the little boy and he giggled, Arthur felt a lump in his throat. He realized that, although he had refused to acknowledge it, he had been afraid that the little boy would be like the children in Ascetir. He felt now that there was hope. Constantine seemed well on the road to recovery. Arthur allowed himself to believe that there was also hope for Merlin.

As he handed the figurine to Constantine, he noticed that it was a winged horse. No, on closer observation it was a small dragon similar to the one that Balinor had carved that Merlin made such a fuss over after he died. Arthur wondered if it had been one of Merlin's toys when he was a boy and if that was why he seemed to like Balinor's carving so much. Surly that is all it was. Merlin's illness induced ramblings were making him see things where none exists.

When Merlin woke, he struggled to get up. Arthur realized he was too weak and simply pulled the curtain and helped him use the chamber pot while Hunith was preparing him some soup to eat. When Merlin tried to protest, Arthur reminded him that their roles were reversed not long ago, so now they were even. Arthur despaired that Merlin did not seem to have the energy to reply. When Merlin was resettled and he opened the curtain again, Hunith brought the soup over and Arthur settled himself behind Merlin, leaning back against the wall and settling Merlin against his chest while Hunith spooned the soup into his mouth. His heart fell again when Merlin simply opened his mouth and ate a few bites without even trying to do it himself. Merlin did manage a tight smile at Constantine when he brought the figurine he was playing with and sat beside Merlin's bed jabbering at him with only a word recognizable here and there. Arthur thought he might be telling Merlin a story as Merlin had done for him.

"Enough." Merlin said after a few bites.

Hunith gave him a smile, but Arthur recognized the worry in her eyes. "Would you feel better with a wash?" she asked Merlin.

Arthur felt the small negative movement of Merlin's head against his chest, but after a moment, he relented and said, "Yeah, Mum, that would be great." Arthur suspected that it was more for his mother's peace of mind than out of want for a wash.

When Hunith went to get the warm water and a cloth, Arthur continued to sit behind Merlin propping him up against his chest.

"Arthur," Merlin whispered so quietly that Arthur almost missed it.

He leaned forward to whisper, "Yes," into Merlin's ear.

Merlin turned his head so that his mouth was close to Arthur's ear. "Make sure that she is taken care of. Please. If...If I don't make it."

Arthur involuntarily squeezed his arms that were around Merlin. "Nothing is going to happen to you, but I promise that your mother will always be taken care of, no matter what." He whispered into Merlin's ear.

Merlin shot him a smile that came nowhere close to looking like a Merlin smile. "Thank you." He whispered back just as Hunith started back toward them, pan of water in her hands.

* * * * *

Arthur awakened to shouting. He recognized immediately that it was Merlin. Quickly going to the fire to light a candle, he found Hunith kneeling on Merlin's other side stroking his brow when he got back. Merlin kept screaming and yelling about being a sorcerer burned on the pyre. Hunith gave Arthur a worried look.

"Merlin told me that the people affected with this disease feel as if their skin is burning. I heard children yelling things that made me think they were talking about a pyre, but I knew that they knew nothing of it. It makes sense that after living in Camelot and seeing all the people that my father has burned for sorcery that is what Merlin would think when he starts to feeling the burning. I think it is time that we give him a dose of the sleep draught he made."

Arthur got up and lit another candle from the one he was holding then handed one to Hunith. It was not safe to set them near Merlin's thrashing, but too far away and they could not see. Arthur poured the correct number of drops into a cup and added just enough water. Finding the small spoon they fed Constantine with, he went back to where Merlin was still thrashing around and yelling about burning. He sat his candle down near his mat and handed the cup of potion to Hunith. As she found a place nearby for her candle, he lifted Merlin's head and scooted behind him again. This was becoming a familiar position he thought. Hunith spooned a bit of the potion into Merlin's mouth a few times and rubbed his throat to make him swallow it. It was a bit difficult because Merlin was still flailing about, even with Arthur holding him. After she had gotten it all into him, she sat back on her heels and waited. Arthur continued to sit behind Merlin with one arm around his waist and one hand stroking the side of his head. The screaming was tearing at him. He could only imagine how Hunith felt to watch her only child so ill and in such torment. Within minutes, the screaming quieted and Merlin went limp in Arthur's arms. Hunith sat the cup on the table, retreated behind her curtain as Arthur slid out from behind Merlin, arranged the blankets over him, and tucked them in around him. When he returned to his own pallet, he blew out the candles, but found that he had no desire to lie down. He leaned back against the wall just looking at the dark shape that was Merlin. Even with the sleep potion, Merlin seemed restless.

Arthur wrestled with his sub-conscious for a time as he stared at Merlin's shape in the dark. Why did he always want things that were impossible for him to have? His father was probably right that he would never make a good king. He was not strong like his father outside of battle, too often wanting bits of comfort and having such a hard time wrestling with his conscience. Why not give in, just this once? No one would ever know. The potion would keep Merlin sleeping deeply, Hunith was safely behind her curtain and the darkness was the perfect cover. Scooting quietly across the short distance, he lifted the blankets and climbed carefully into the small space beside Merlin, putting his arm around him so that he could feel the rise and fall of his chest to make sure he was still breathing. Merlin seemed to quiet immediately. Arthur tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to reassure himself this was only to comfort Merlin. He promised himself that he would only lie here for a few minutes then he would go back to his own pallet before falling asleep. He did not reckon with the way the gentle rise and fall of Merlin's chest under his hand would lull him into sleep.

A voice woke him. It was Merlin talking to him, not shouting this time. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about being a sorcerer before." Arthur felt the shock skittering through his system. However, Merlin continued, not allowing him to speak. "Well, I did tell you, but you accused me of being in love with Gwen. I told you that I would serve you 'till the day I die. I guess that today is that day." The clanging of fear now joined shock still skittering through his body. Was Merlin telling him that he was about to die? "I was told that it was my destiny to make sure that you became King. I guess that I will fail at that since your father is burning me right now." What? Merlin was not really talking to him. He might not be shouting the way he usually did, but the delirium still held him in its thrall.

Arthur sat up and started running his hand through Merlin's hair in the way that he usually did to try to soothe him. Merlin's talking became mumbling then faded altogether. After a few more minutes, or it could have been hours, Arthur crawled back to his pallet and lay down.

He could not dismiss what Merlin had been saying. Could he be a real sorcerer? It seemed a ridiculous idea. Nevertheless, so much of what Merlin had said was true. He had confessed to Uther that he was a sorcerer and Arthur had tried to save him by telling his father that Merlin was in love with Gwen and lying to save her. What amazed him now was that Uther had not decided to burn both Merlin and Gwen without further thought, but Uther had not been quite as unbending back then. Merlin had told him that he would be glad to serve him until he died. Arthur had thought that Merlin was saying goodbye. Arthur had thought that perhaps he had been dying at the time. Wait! What had he just said about his destiny to make sure Arthur became King? What did that mean? What had Gaius said about a prophecy? It simply could not be. Merlin could no more be a powerful sorcerer than he could fly.

Arthur rolled onto his side determined to find sleep.

"The light Arthur, follow the light. It will lead you out of the cave to safety."

By the time Merlin stopped speaking, Arthur had sat up and was staring toward the dark shape that he knew to be Merlin. Chills were skittering down his arms and back. How did Merlin know about that? No one had been there. Merlin had been on the brink of death. Yet Arthur had felt something familiar about the light, something safe and comfortable. However, Uther claimed that there was nothing safe of comfortable about any sorcerer. On the other hand, Gaius had told him that a powerful sorcerer would be by his side to make sure he became King. Arthur rolled to his side again, only to stare at the barely glowing coals while thoughts swirled through his head. He wanted to think that Merlin had only been delirious, but there was so much in what he said that rang true. Was it even possible that...

* * * * *

The sound of Hunith moving behind her curtain was a relief to Arthur. He put his hand on the pillow near his face and pretended to be asleep when she tiptoed out through the room and out the door, as was her habit every day. He knew that he had a few minutes before she would come back, bringing fresh water with her. He took the opportunity to roll to the other side with his back to the rest of the room. Now he could see Merlin's face turned toward him in the low light of early morning. It looked like the same face he saw every day. A face that he had always trusted since the first time Merlin had saved his life and been given the job as his manservant. The first time...how many had there been now? However, there had always been something about Merlin that he could not put his finger on. Could it be magic? No. There was no way that Merlin could be a sorcerer, much less a powerful one like Gaius had been telling him about. However, that could explain so many strange things.

When Hunith had returned and set about getting the fire going again Arthur sat up much as he did every day. He did not know why, but he did not want Hunith to realize that he had been kept awake all night. He wanted no questions about what it was that had kept him awake. Arthur pulled on his boots and stood.

"Good morning, Hunith." He greeted quietly as he drew near her in front of the fireplace.

She greeted back softly; just as she did every morning. Was she watching him warily as he made his way to the door to complete his morning trek out back then fetch more wood as he usually did?

Arthur spent his time outside settling his mind and putting on the unflappable mask that he had learned to wear from an early age. Princes and Kings are not to allow their thoughts or feelings to show. Returning to Hunith's little house with the wood, Arthur found Merlin awake. Hunith was spooning broth into Merlin's mouth. Arthur quickly deposited his logs in the wooden box beside the fireplace, brushed himself off and went over to them to slide underneath Merlin's shoulders and hold him in a half seated position.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked his manservant.

"Better, I think." Merlin answered the same way he had every time he was that question. When he noticed a few minutes later that Merlin had managed to get most of the broth down instead of just a few sips, he had hopes that this time Merlin was telling the truth. His hopes rose when Merlin asked Arthur to prop him against the wall after using the chamber pot. Arthur folded his own pallet up and pillowed the wall behind Merlin's mattress as best he could to make it somewhat more comfortable. Folding himself onto the floor, he sat near Merlin and chatted about nothing. Hunith brought him the porridge that he was learning to eat, if not to like, while he was still sitting there talking quietly. When Constantine was awake, dressed, and fed, he came over to sit in the hole that Arthur's crossed legs made, draping his small legs over Arthur's ankles and jabbering to Merlin. Arthur could only understand about one word in every five, but Merlin must have understood him better or been a good guesser because he carried on a short conversation with the boy.

"Since everyone seems to feel better, why don't you take Constantine out to play in the fresh air today?" Hunith asked. She had been wearing an anxious look on her face all morning making Arthur wonder if she had heard Merlin last night, too, and was wondering when the ax was going to fall on her son's neck. "I think I will be able to watch over Merlin this morning."

Arthur and Constantine had walked the small village over, at least Arthur had walked, but he carried Constantine so that he wouldn't tire so quickly, letting Constantine meet some of the people that he had not had a chance to meet since his arrival. Soon they found themselves some small sticks and Arthur was teaching the toddler rudiments of sword fighting. He had to admit that he was impressed with the toddler's grasp of the basics. "You have the potential for a fine Knight someday Constantine. I wish it would be possible to bring you back to the castle in a few years as a Page. Maybe when I am King we can change those laws. His mind went back to the discussion that he and Merlin had had about people with the skills and passion becoming better Knights.

He sank down on the ground watching Constantine attacking small bushes and tree trunks with his 'sword' as his mind drifted back, wondering if any of the things Merlin had said last night were true or if they were simply delusions caused by the illness. Suddenly he felt anger overcome him that Merlin could have been lying to him for two years. He hated liars almost as much as his father hated sorcerers.

Jumping up Arthur headed toward Hunith's house with his hand on the hilt of his real sword. Letting the anger consume him, he did not even know what he was planning to do when he got there. A small hand grasping at his free hand caused him to look down. He realized that Constantine was running at his side trying to keep up with him just as it became too much for the young boy and he tripped and fell. Quick action had Arthur grabbing him before he reached the ground and hurt himself. Taking the time to set him carefully on the ground Arthur looked him over to make sure that he was unhurt and that is what it took to realize that he could not go haring off to exact justice for Merlin's lies at this moment. He could not expose Constantine to that. He was also convinced that it would not give him much satisfaction to relieve Merlin of his head while he was sleeping and he was sure that he was asleep again by now, since his strength never lasted long lately. No, when Arthur exacted his justice, he wanted Merlin aware of what was happening, he wanted the other man to know the fullness of his fury over his deceit.

Arthur turned and made his way back into the edge of the copse a bit further in than they had previously been sitting. Finding a large tree and an array of branches, Arthur stood Constantine in front of his own tree several feet away where he would be safe enough and Arthur could see him the whole time. There was no need for innocents to be hurt. Taking his position near the tree he had chosen he picked up the first thick branch and started in on the tree as if the branch was a sword and the tree was Merlin. Sometime later Constantine gave up beating on his tree and sank down at its base. Even later, with his own strength flagging and all the sturdy branches broken into pieces, Arthur allowed himself to sink to the base of his own tree and lean back, wiping the sweat from his face and eyes with the hem of his shirt. He noticed that Constantine had slumped over in sleep.

With the haze of anger driven away by his physical exertions, Arthur's mind played over what he had heard the night before and again tried to figure out of any of it was true. Scenes and events from the past two years played out in his mind at a dizzying pace. He kept coming back time and again to Merlin always being there when he needed him, really needed him, Merlin being the one person that he could talk to, Merlin the terrible fighter braving bandits and a dragon alike to be by Arthur's side. Loyal Merlin. Merlin who had saved his life several times, that he knew of. Arthur sat up straighter. Were there more times that Arthur didn’t know about? What about that ball of light? Merlin was not even there, yet he had talked about it last night as if he were, or watching, or sent it. Could it be possible that Merlin might have sent that ball of light to save him while lying near death? Would that not take a lot of power? Was it possible for a sorcerer to have that much power?

'I believe that he has saved your life right under your father’s nose.' The words that Gaius had spoken came back to him. "If the sorcerer had any evil in him, he would have had a chance to kill any of you at any moment, or simply allow you to die. It seems that he has become your protector, a protector of Camelot. Much as you protect Camelot from attacks with your sword, he seems to be protecting Camelot from the magical attacks that you are not able to ward off with his magic. Have you never heard the prophesy? It says that a King will reign that will take a powerful sorcerer by his side and unite all of Albion."

He had been so wrapped up in what Gaius had told him about his mother at the time and so busy later that he had not put much thought into the words that Gaius has spoken to him. Now as the words came to him he wondered. Could his bumbling manservant be a sorcerer, his protector? It seemed absurd that Merlin could keep a secret at all, let alone one as big and dangerous as that. As he sat and pondered the things that Gaius had told him and the things that Merlin had said last night, trying to form them into some kind of shape that made sense, he realized that there was no one that he would rather find to be the sorcerer and protector of prophesy than Merlin. There was just something about Merlin from the start. Something that made him ignore Arthur's power as a Prince and instead of bowing and scraping as most subjects did, Merlin acted as though they were equals. The only other men that had ever met Arthur as equals had been equal or higher than him in power and riches. Merlin came from a simple peasant background that could never make him feel equal. Arthur found himself chuckling over the puzzle that was his manservant. He found himself hoping that the prophesy was true and that Merlin was the sorcerer that would stand at his side to unite all of Albion. The thing that could make them equals and allow them to be close friends that their stations forbid now. Arthur leaned back against the tree, propped up his right knee to rest his heavy sword arm on as his mind spun off into the direction of ‘what if’.

Sometime later, he concluded that all of this could wait until Merlin was better, if Merlin got better. The signs all seemed to point to his recovery like Constantine. He rose, scooped the still sleeping Constantine into his arms and headed back for Hunith's house with a more settled feeling than he felt since Merlin started talking last night.

Part Six