Zooming out
When you zoom all the way out, all that you can see is one over zero.
And there's nothing else. No context. No meaning.
Nothing that could be called good.
I need to zoom in. I... I can't live life zoomed out that far. I'm trying to leave this zoom level by writing about it.
But on the drive home from class I did some thinking, some zooming out, trying to get the whole of my experience into view at once.
Zoomed out to here... Oh, how to say it. I am not working at living effectively enough to enjoy my life as much as I want to.
I don't think I can change myself to become better at working at living. Too much of who I am is bound up in the things that would need to be changed. I don't want to fight my own nature.
Goal: Enjoy life more
Objectives in support of that goal:
Avoid more of the situations that makes life less enjoyable, a.k.a. The Work of Living.
I can't work harder at living, so I want, I need, to work smarter at living.
To that end: I want to create a system, an infrastructure around myself, that supports me. I want to make tools, make a machine that will make it so the work of living is easier, make it so I can do the work of living well enough to enjoy life.
Thinking at this zoom level is hard. It's even harder to express what I'm thinking. To see all of my life at once everything becomes so abstract. I can't touch anything. I can't do anything. But at this zoom level I think I can get a sort of understanding of how it all works.
If...
If I could just zoom in on one aspect of my life, and fix and improve that ONE thing, I could get the snowball rolling.
If I just significantly improved and made more easy the process I use to improve the processes I use. Pow. There we go. Things would start to get better and better and be... heh.
But I don't know how.
Now I'm zooming back in. (slightly) I can't devote everything I have to fixing this one part of my system, I need to stay alive, to enjoy life enough to keep living, while I work at fixing how I make things better...
There will be a number of spin-offs, which will make other aspects of my life better. Make some things easier, make some things more fun (hopefully).
So how do I express how I feel about all this right now?
Before me is a mountain, a whole mountain range, full of craggy peaks. I want to put my flag on top of each and every one of those peaks. But as I look at the mountains, looking for the best way up... I see one peak. I can't tell how high up it is. But I can see that once I get there... from there are paths, good paths, that will take me to each and every one of the other peaks, once I get to that one special peak.
I don't know if I can climb to the top of that special peak. I don't know if it really will lead to all the other peaks. But I know that peak is there, and I'm starting to climb.
My mood: Meh-ish, but generaly good at the moment. But as I look up that mountain, I see reason to feel hopeful about where I go from here.
And there's nothing else. No context. No meaning.
Nothing that could be called good.
I need to zoom in. I... I can't live life zoomed out that far. I'm trying to leave this zoom level by writing about it.
But on the drive home from class I did some thinking, some zooming out, trying to get the whole of my experience into view at once.
Zoomed out to here... Oh, how to say it. I am not working at living effectively enough to enjoy my life as much as I want to.
I don't think I can change myself to become better at working at living. Too much of who I am is bound up in the things that would need to be changed. I don't want to fight my own nature.
Goal: Enjoy life more
Objectives in support of that goal:
Avoid more of the situations that makes life less enjoyable, a.k.a. The Work of Living.
I can't work harder at living, so I want, I need, to work smarter at living.
To that end: I want to create a system, an infrastructure around myself, that supports me. I want to make tools, make a machine that will make it so the work of living is easier, make it so I can do the work of living well enough to enjoy life.
Thinking at this zoom level is hard. It's even harder to express what I'm thinking. To see all of my life at once everything becomes so abstract. I can't touch anything. I can't do anything. But at this zoom level I think I can get a sort of understanding of how it all works.
If...
If I could just zoom in on one aspect of my life, and fix and improve that ONE thing, I could get the snowball rolling.
If I just significantly improved and made more easy the process I use to improve the processes I use. Pow. There we go. Things would start to get better and better and be... heh.
But I don't know how.
Now I'm zooming back in. (slightly) I can't devote everything I have to fixing this one part of my system, I need to stay alive, to enjoy life enough to keep living, while I work at fixing how I make things better...
There will be a number of spin-offs, which will make other aspects of my life better. Make some things easier, make some things more fun (hopefully).
So how do I express how I feel about all this right now?
Before me is a mountain, a whole mountain range, full of craggy peaks. I want to put my flag on top of each and every one of those peaks. But as I look at the mountains, looking for the best way up... I see one peak. I can't tell how high up it is. But I can see that once I get there... from there are paths, good paths, that will take me to each and every one of the other peaks, once I get to that one special peak.
I don't know if I can climb to the top of that special peak. I don't know if it really will lead to all the other peaks. But I know that peak is there, and I'm starting to climb.
My mood: Meh-ish, but generaly good at the moment. But as I look up that mountain, I see reason to feel hopeful about where I go from here.