so long and goodnight

[metalcorps]

so i broke up with ashley last night. not clean at all. she has a full suitcase, and like two full garbage bags full of stuff here.
i feel like ive betrayed her in the worst way. at least there isnt someone else involved i suppose.
i know that shes gonna relapse and start up on the enose candy again. that kills me. if i take her back it would be for the wrong reasons. i want her to fix herself, i dont want her to fix herself for me, i want it to be for her... and she doesnt get it. i feel so bad. she is such a nice person otherwise. i wish i could find someone like her without an addiction. that would make life so much easier. going to sleep tonight is going to suck. i dont know if i can. i need beer and lots of it. im gonna call justin. we will have a driking night i think.
FUCK
anyways. i feel like crap right now. but i cant be responsible for her, not like that, so i had to end it. and i have to stand by it.
i just wish she didnt already have so much on her plate.
serves me right for getting myself into these stupid fucking situations.
whatever, im out for now.

-Zach