Walking my Talk
It's not often in my life that I make a decision I'm 100% certain about, but giving my two week notice at Wild Rose was one of those decisions, and a life-changer at that! For once I have no doubt, no uncertainty, no buyer's remorse. It's definitely bittersweet as I LOVE that place, and wasn't ready to leave yet, but I've been telling The Universe for awhile that a) I want a break and b) I'm ready for something more, and she was listening. I've been thrown out of the nest, and I'm so damn ready to fly!!!!
Exciting; profoundly, beautifully, incredibly exciting!
The response has been almost overwhelming. I expected questions and some upset, but almost across the board people are happy for me, and they keep telling me how brave I am, how inspiring, which was a surprise. I don't feel like this is a huge leap of faith, but I suppose that it is. I KNOW it's right, and I KNOW I'm going to do something even more amazing than my time at Wild Rose, so it doesn't seem all that scary. In fact, I'm really comfortable, and confident, and absolutely giddy at the thought of not working for awhile.
In fact, that was the biggest deciding factor, time off. Sure, the changes at Wild Rose have been stressing me out, and I've been frustrated with my decreasing authority and autonomy, but I was still willing to work within it. But on Wednesday Ashlea and I were hanging out, talking about work and life over giant bowls of ramen, and somehow she asked what I WANT to do. And I responded that what I REALLY want is to not work for awhile. Her response was, "Well, why don't you do that?" I paused and thought about the possibility, and I started to cry, because it's so badly what I want, and so obvious a decision.
Thank goodness for insightful, caring friends!!
I went home, typed up a single draft of my resignation letter, and hit print. I waited for Marcus to finish work and come over before I phoned HR to set up a meeting, but I made it official as soon as I possibly could - which was at 8:30am. Marcus was almost more excited than me, and incredibly supportive. He told me he's proud of me, and I know without a doubt that he has my back.
It won't be long until he gives his notice as well, but he'll be able to quit because he's dissatisfied, and let them know all of the specific reasons, whereas I have to keep things above board and positive. If I'm being honest, I hope he leaves sooner than later, and it would quietly thrill me to watch others follow suit - which isn't that implausible. There are three others who have already expressed their desire to leave. I don't want the Taproom to crash and burn, but I would enjoy seeing them squirm for a bit. And I want the staff that I love to get out before they become miserable - and unfortunately with the way things are going I do see imminent misery. All of this is a bit surreal, and has gotten a bit dramatic. I decided last night that I legitimately want to be positive, and feel positive, and only say positive things about the situation. And I AM leaving on my terms, because the time is right for me, because I want to reclaim my own life and focus on my own desires. I won't let anyone else dictate my day to day life any more, it's regression, and I'm only moving forward.
I had lunch with my friend Karen today, and we talked a lot about following your dreams and making big life decisions and living life with meaning and purpose and joy... I remembered that I am a huge proponent of work/life balance, and I'm happy to be walking my talk! There is give and take in any area, you just have to listen to what your body, spirit and The Universe are telling you, then figure things out within those parameters.
Life, it sure is glorious!