A few things about summer...
Well, finally, at the end of May, the sun has seen fit to grace this green and pleasant land with its presence, and we should all feel humbled and honoured by such a decision. Tuning into the rolling news channel this morning (skipping over the reports of water-skiing badgers and other such peculiarities, of course) and seeing that today will bring temperatures of roughly 25 degrees sent more than a little flutter of excitement running through me. It didn't last long.
I have come to realise that, as wonderful as summer is and as much as I complain about the rain/snow/sleet/hurricane/alien invasions that come with winter, autumn and spring in this country, there are several things that have served, in just a few hours, to make this summer seem less appealing.
1) I appear to have a sneezing mechanism which is photosensitive - if exposed to too much sunlight, I start exploding. This is the source of much amusement to others, especially when walking down the street in not-very-much clothing trying to look attractive (trying being the key word in that sentence)
2) I've lasted all through the autumn and winter without succumbing to a cold virus, and now that summer has finally decided to arrive I find myself coming down witha case of the sniffles. Instead of sunbathing, I find myself curled on a couch clutching a tissue - yay, summertime.
3) The coming of summer signals in the coming of exams, which, when coupled with warm weather, entails being locked in a boiling hot room, unable to speak or exchange glances with any other sentient being and getting Repetitive Strain Injury in my wrist and brain.
4) I have a chronic phobia of bees and wasps which - wouldn'tcha know - only emerge during the summer months. So, basically, I spend most of my summers frozen to the spot as the sight of the damned things practically paralyses me. Moths, spiders, snakes, bats, snails - fine. Bees and wasps, a stalwart of any British summer - get me a sedative.
5) Finally, in heed of the weather warnings I decided that the best form of clothing to wear today would be a vest top, in order that I didn't overheat and keel over. Instead, however, this backfired; upon arriving at school, I have discovered that I cannot take off my leather jacket as one of the rules of Sixth Form dress is that we cannot show off our "super sexual shoulders". This is s warning: if this is the last post I make, you know it is because I have collapsed through a combination of heat and perplexed indignation, so please light a candle in my honour.
I have come to realise that, as wonderful as summer is and as much as I complain about the rain/snow/sleet/hurricane/alien invasions that come with winter, autumn and spring in this country, there are several things that have served, in just a few hours, to make this summer seem less appealing.
1) I appear to have a sneezing mechanism which is photosensitive - if exposed to too much sunlight, I start exploding. This is the source of much amusement to others, especially when walking down the street in not-very-much clothing trying to look attractive (trying being the key word in that sentence)
2) I've lasted all through the autumn and winter without succumbing to a cold virus, and now that summer has finally decided to arrive I find myself coming down witha case of the sniffles. Instead of sunbathing, I find myself curled on a couch clutching a tissue - yay, summertime.
3) The coming of summer signals in the coming of exams, which, when coupled with warm weather, entails being locked in a boiling hot room, unable to speak or exchange glances with any other sentient being and getting Repetitive Strain Injury in my wrist and brain.
4) I have a chronic phobia of bees and wasps which - wouldn'tcha know - only emerge during the summer months. So, basically, I spend most of my summers frozen to the spot as the sight of the damned things practically paralyses me. Moths, spiders, snakes, bats, snails - fine. Bees and wasps, a stalwart of any British summer - get me a sedative.
5) Finally, in heed of the weather warnings I decided that the best form of clothing to wear today would be a vest top, in order that I didn't overheat and keel over. Instead, however, this backfired; upon arriving at school, I have discovered that I cannot take off my leather jacket as one of the rules of Sixth Form dress is that we cannot show off our "super sexual shoulders". This is s warning: if this is the last post I make, you know it is because I have collapsed through a combination of heat and perplexed indignation, so please light a candle in my honour.