Why isn't there more honest discussion about depression in academia?

( The saga continues )

Everything makes me think of home today, painfully. ( Read more... )

( Blah blah Mondaycakes )

( I tried to vent; it didn't really work )

Only 10:30am, and already I'm sweating. It's supposed to get above 90 today. That'll be fun ( Read more... )

In other news, I won't be going to grad school this fall.

My mom is in Taiwan for my grandmother's funeral. She sent me an e-mail, telling me about a ceremony they'd had and asking me to say a prayer and think of my grandmother.

I just- I am right, right on the edge of crying, but I can't quite get there ( Read more... )

Thinking: I don't often analyze my happiness. But when I'm feeling low, I get a strange sort of...enjoyment? from analyzing and poking at it and going, "Huh, why is this here?" The lower I get, the more it becomes like an out-of-body experience for me. This sometimes leads to weird layers of feeling: like, the other day I was rereading some FMA, ( Read more... )

I went home Wednesday evening to visit my family for a few days; we got a call that night to tell us that my grandmother in Taiwan had passed away. Not really a surprise, and in some ways a relief. On the one hand, it's very easy to feel guilty: if only I'd been able to see her more, if only I'd tried harder to speak with her, if only she had ( Read more... )

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE EVERYONE QUIT DICKING AROUND AND SEND ME MY REJECTION LETTERS ALREADY SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

The waiting is killing me.

Perhaps in some universe I am the kind of chill person who can say "Que sera, sera," and calmly await judgment without my self-worth hanging in the balance, but this is not that universeJust get on with ( Read more... )