(Untitled)

[mennybeads]

Lately I've been wondering-- and it's not just hormones or stress afaik-- if I'm cut out to be a scholar. I don't think I'm smart enough. And that's not saying I'm dumb-- I'm just saying there are a lot of history students out there who are smarter than me. Who would get the opportunities I want sooner than me. And it's not like I'm cool with that

Comments

[mattybee]

This post actually makes me angry. :|

[mennybeads]

Well, I'm pretty sure that wasn't my intention.

[mattybee]

I know it wasn't! But.

You're plenty smart. Seriously, maybe you're not the sort of person who sits down and studies and is a STUDIOUS STUDENT, but I can think of tons of people who would kill to be you. It's nothing to do with not being intelligent and I don't want you to ever think that or say that. >(

[mennybeads]

As I said, I'm not saying I'm not smart. But I'm not smart enough to be a scholar, an academic. There's a difference. I do sit down and study, by the way. A lot.

[talkjive]

You know that I'm not going to agree with you on the smart enough bit, you know I think you hung the moon, but I doubt that's helpful to you. What would you like to do, then? If--and you're wrong--being a scholar doesn't work out? You work hard, you speak other languages, you aren't lazy, you're personable, you could succeed in another field, too.

[mennybeads]

I don't know what I want to do. There are other options in history, it's such a broad field, but I don't know what I would like. Not politics. Not high school teaching; at least I don't think so. I wanna live abroad and meet and talk to big historians, experts. Idk. As I said, I don't know all my options so this is just unreasonable angst. But there ya go.

Thank you, though. It means a lot that you think so.

[derivatizing]

Worrying about this means you will be able to get to that level eventually. Chin up.

[mennybeads]

I'm not sure if I get that. How's that?

I don't mean to say anything against the theory but i just don't get it.