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mennybeads

(Untitled)

Oct 10, 2010 21:57

Lately I've been wondering-- and it's not just hormones or stress afaik-- if I'm cut out to be a scholar. I don't think I'm smart enough. And that's not saying I'm dumb-- I'm just saying there are a lot of history students out there who are smarter than me. Who would get the opportunities I want sooner than me. And it's not like I'm cool with that ( Read more... )

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mattybee October 10 2010, 20:33:38 UTC

This post actually makes me angry. :|

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:35:28 UTC

Well, I'm pretty sure that wasn't my intention.

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:36:49 UTC

I know it wasn't! But.

You're plenty smart. Seriously, maybe you're not the sort of person who sits down and studies and is a STUDIOUS STUDENT, but I can think of tons of people who would kill to be you. It's nothing to do with not being intelligent and I don't want you to ever think that or say that. >(

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:38:22 UTC

As I said, I'm not saying I'm not smart. But I'm not smart enough to be a scholar, an academic. There's a difference. I do sit down and study, by the way. A lot.

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:39:12 UTC

Okay, let me clarify. Maybe you're not the person who learns best by sitting down and studying and being a studious student. And it's not ... not being smart, so much as not being that kind of smart.

Bkla;stja I'm probably coming off as like insulting or something.

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:42:06 UTC

I don't mean to sound insulting to others. That's why I said I don't think I'm not smart. And maybe other people would like to have my intellect-- but I don't know if they have the same dreams I do, Matt. That's the difference.

How else can you learn history than sitting down and studying? Haha.

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:43:42 UTC

Some people learn better by reading things. I am one of these people! Other people learn better by discussing, by being talked to, and whatnot. I mean, for example, take my sister - she really, really has to take absolutely super detailed notes because if she just hears something and doesn't have it written down, she will not remember it. At all.

I dunno - I guess part of me's kind of frustrated because I personally would kill to have your talents and intellect and ... actual drive to do things. :(

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:47:07 UTC

Hmmm like that, I get it.

...I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to offend or hurt you, man.

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:48:05 UTC

I'm not like, offended or anything, bb! It's just like "aaaaa you're smart and clever as hell and vomit languages everywhere and know a ton of shit about a ton of shit WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS".

Then I make grabby hands in the general direction of Europe.

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:53:53 UTC

The fact is that I may not be good enough for academics, which is something that I want. That's just reality. My university is pretty prestigious and there are a lot of people, people that I know alone, that are much better than I am. And when you get confronted with that reality, I think I'm pretty much allowed to complain about it a little.

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:54:42 UTC

JUST LET ME BE JEALOUS OF YOU OKAY that's all I want.

(though honestly I think you are plenty good enough but I can't really speak about the situation at hand ._. )

gar_demokratia October 10 2010, 20:57:07 UTC

If you want, I mean, go ahead... I dont'see why though you're plenty smart yourself.

yeah. I don't need advice or anything, I just needed to get it out

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:57:50 UTC

I got confused and thought somebody was jumping in to yell at me. :(

mennybeads October 10 2010, 20:58:30 UTC

hahaha sorry

mattybee October 10 2010, 20:59:46 UTC

Also I have a job and I am getting money and one of these summers I want to come visit you in Spicetraderland. :(

mennybeads October 10 2010, 21:01:23 UTC

/o/ good luck saving up!

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