(no subject)
i need another update.
last time i updated was thurrrsday.. the day after the last day of school.. when i was supposed to be out at a party enjoying summer.. but instead i had these lovely family issues to deal with.
Up until friday my mom was being a crazy bitch.. kicked us out.. made us come back.. screamed at us.. threatened us.. we left.. she threatened to call the cops.. we went to stevens.. then stayed at asa's. mom was being completely rude and horrible to everybody acting like everybody was out to get her. she tried to force us to go back home. we spent all day thursday on the phone trying to work everything out... work it out to where we didnt have to live with my mom anymore but still not have to move to vegas.. again.
on friday my mom did a 180 and was suddenly extremely nice and polite to mrs quinn. after she found out that the plan was for my dad to move up to deland from fort lauderdale so that we could finish highschool, my mom said she was going to come by asa's house (where we were staying) to drop off some of our stuff. i found this out when mrs. quinn came into the room when she got off of work and told me i needed to go for a ride. she didnt want me in the house when my mom came by just incase my mom did anything.. so me and asa left. we went to go visit ryan at work for a little bit until my mom left. when we got back to the house mrs quinn said my mom didnt even come by because she wasnt sure what we needed from our rooms so instead she wanted us to go to the house to get what we needed ourselves. we had a little window of oppurtunity to do that while my mom went to orlando to pick up toney from the airport. so mrs quinn, ryan, and i drove to the house.. when we went in i went straight to my room so that we could leave as soon as possible. but on the way there i noticed mom put all our pictures back up on the fridge and on the walls =( actually she put extra pictures up of me and ryan that werent even there before. i couldnt help but think she did that to make me and ryan feel bad about leaving =/ wellll anyways. i went straight to my room.. and every single thing i owned was packed away in bags and boxes. it was the wierdest feeling in the world.. to come back to my room having everything packed up.. i mean seriously what the hell? how soon did she want my stuff out? whatever, i just went through everything and grabbed everything i thought id need for the summer.. and ryan was in his room doing the same. we could only take so much, so i just took what i thought id need while i was in fort lauderdale this summer =/
when we left i started feeling really.... guilty. well not guilty but.. kind of questioning whether me and ryan leaving was the right thing. maybe it was coming home to the pictures back up everywhere that made me feel like that.... well on the ride home i sat there and read one of my journals that id kept.. and i was flipping through it and most of what i read was stuff id wrote just after me and mom got in a fight.. i started realizing how sad and worthless she made me feel and that def. helped me get over my sadness just a little bit.
back at asa's we ate dinner and hung out and i took a shower.. the entire night i couldnt stop thinking. i HATE thinking. i started getting really depressed about everything that was going on. we were in the guest bedroom.. ryan was on the phone with this girl he likes-which he's extremely happy about- he doesnt even seem to be paying attention at all to whats been going on-hes distracted. dont get me wrong im extremely happy for him cus he really needs something like that right now.. but i couldnt help but feel so sad. i felt like i couldnt let out my emotions though because theres always someone around in asa's house. i didnt want to sit there and cry in front of anyone. asa was in his room.. ryan was in the other.. chuck was in the living room.. and mrs quinn was in the other room... so i went to the kitchen to get away.. and i sat on the floor and cried.
the next morning, saturday, we woke up really early to go to the school. we had planned a trip with athletes in action to go to busch gardens. i finally had the chance to have fun and forget about everything going on =) and it really was sooooo much fun. for the most part i didnt even think about anything going on. i really needed that.
sunday morning i woke up sore. ryan and asa kept on coming into my room talking and i didnt pay attention to them cus i was so tired.. but i started waking up. thats when mrs. quinn came into the room and told me that my mom called. she wanted to know if any of us went into her room when we went to the house to get our stuff, because she "swears" shes missing some things and everything isnt the way it was when she left it to go to the airport. YEP. my own mother was accusing us of STEALING from HER. when we went to go get our stuff i purposely left things of hers that i found in my room.. cus i just didnt want them. why the hell would i? yea that definitely reassured to me how crazy she is.
that day me and ryan went to our cousins house to hang out and to see everybody. i saw shayne for the first time in a while.. i miss him =( we havent been able to see that side of our family as much as we'd like to considering our mom kicked THEM out of our house too.
yep.
monday my dad came. we went out to lunch and then went looking at houses. we found this house in victoria park for rent. its absolutely gorgeous. i could have never dreamed of living there and i cant believe we might be moving in june 15!! im sooo excited!!
me and my dad left deland and started coming to fort lauderdale around 6ish. ryan stayed in deland because he still has to work at the bank. so i'll be here for a little while with my daddy =) im pretty sure we're going back june 15 to move into that house. =D i am so extremely excited to move and start living with my dad and just to be out of HELL living with my mom.. me and ryan are going to be so much happier!! we're going to be closer to the school.. and to the highway. since dad has to commute to fort lauderdale every few days until he gets transfered to orlando. so me and ryan are probly going to be on our own 3 days out of the week. and this new community we're moving into has a pool and workout center. and its SAFE. ill probly do alot better in school too, since ill actually have someone to motivate me. ive never been so excited in my life!! i feel like we have the chance to start over!! i cant wait!!