Bedtime Stories
For the past few nights, David has been telling me the bedtime stories, and to be honest, he's quite the little story-teller. Two nights ago it was Little Red Riding Hood - which followed the classic tale quite well with the exception of Little Red beating the Big Bad Wolf into submission with a hammer she got from home. She banged him on the head and the stomach and the toes (in that order, mind you) several times. Incidentally, she also had to use the big hammer that was at Grandma's house as well. Grandma got to join in action as well. There was no lumberjack.
Last night it was the Three Little Piggies (not Pigs, Piggies).
There were three of them, and they had to build houses because of the Big Bad Wolf (pronounced woof). The third little piggy built his out of bricks. The first little piggy built his out of wood. The second little piggy almost built his out of wood too, until we reminded him of the straw. So the little piggies all built their houses when suddenly (said with great emphasis and animation) the Big Bad Wolf came to the wood house. The little piggy locked the door, and the wolf knocked on the door (leaning down to knock the drawer of his captain's bed) and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" (What did the pigs say Mom?)
Me: "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"
"Well then I'll puff and I'll... I'll blow your house down!"And he blew (blows while rotating his head) and the little pig ran to the straw house, and he went inside and they locked the door. Suddenly (again, with great emphasis and animation), the big bad wolf knocks on the door again. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
(Whispers, "Mom, you be the pigs!")
Me and Jeremy and David a little bit: "Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins!"
*Alex laughs hysterically*
"Well then I'll puff and puff and I'll blow your house down - in!"
And he blew (blows while rotating his head) and the little piggies ran to the brick house, and they went inside and they locked the door. Suddenly (yes, things happen suddenly in this story), the big bad wolf knocks on the door. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"
All of us: "Not by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins!"
*Alex is still laughing hysterically*
"Well then I'll huff and puff and I'll blow your house in!"And he blew (*blows while rotating his head*)... and the house didn't inch! (yes inching is a verb now) So he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed and he bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww... (*rotating blow*) and the house still didn't inch!
So then the Big Bad Wolf ran to the top of the hill and found apples in a barrel. He through the apples down the hill and rolled down, but nothing happened. Suddenly, he had an idea! (This is all getting a bit convenient, isn't it?) He saw the chimney! (pronounced chimeny; as in "chim-chimeny, chim-chimeny, chim-chim-cheroo") He founded a ladder and climbed up and started going down. The little pigs were boiling water. Suddenly, the wolf sprouted wings.
Us: Wings?
David: Yes... ROBOT wings!
And the Big Bad Wolf went all the way down and he captured the three little pigs (with a net, of course). Then he boiled the three little pigs and ate them for dinner. The End.
I'm not sure whether to be concerned or not.
Tonight was another version of Little Red Riding Hood:
It was all quite normal until after the what big ears/eyes/teeth you have part. Little Red then runs out to the forest and calls the police (a monkey, a frog and a giraffe) and tells them she needs help with a wolf who wants the treats meant for her sick grandma.
Alas, she is captured by...NINJAS while she's in the forest -because they want her fruit (in the basket, apparently), which they hid in the forest (which was spooky - "I'm scared of forests."). Next they took her to their ninja castle and locked her up in chains. She didn't know what to do. Suddenly (There were MANY more "suddenly"s in tonight's story. Almost every sentence began with "suddenly" or "besides". But I digress... Suddenly...) she had and idea. Somehow she sneaked out. She had to be very sneaky. Sneaky enough to get out of her chains, and very quiet. She got back to the forest, but suddenly the ninjas were after her, so she ran to her mom's house. Something else happened, I'm not quite recalling now, but eventually they ran back to Grandma's house. Grandma was sick, but she made oatmeal cookies for the ninjas (they put them on a plate for them) and the wolf got some too and went back to the forest. Suddenly the police (the monkey, the frog and the giraffe) came and everything was settled. And Little Red Riding Hood and her mom went home (not so suddenly). The End.
I must say, it was quite the retelling. :) I had to stifle my laugh after every "Suddenly". It was just hilarious. Next time I really do need to record it. This is the kind of stuff you save for posterity!