The tooth fairy and other things that cracked me up before 9am today
The tooth fairy who services our house is not the type to sneak around after the kids are asleep. Instead, she makes the swap during the final good night hug. Pretty tricky, right? Of course, there's the risk that the kid will discover the exchange has occurred too quickly. Or that the money will get lost before morning. But we all have our thresholds of acceptable risk.
Hang on a minute. Let me back up and explain that my son, as cute as he is, is not confrontational, which is why among other things playing soccer did not go over well with him. He's thin and willowy and bends this way and that in the stream of life, as an ancient Chinese philosopher might say. Or at least, a modern day part-Chinese pseudo philosophical nutcase might. But suffice to say, if there's a problem or something he wants, he will try to weasel his way around it.
So, when I went in his room to get him out of bed this morning -- he was comatose all except his rear end, which he was wiggling to his favorite song California Gurls...Yeah. I know. He sat up, started flipping his pillows around saying that the tooth fairy had taken his tooth, but hadn't left anything.
Zounds!
My first reaction was to look under the bed because first, I KNOW there's a dollar there somewhere. Because, hey man, the tooth fairy and I are, you know, TIGHT.
Meanwhile, Riley has woken up and is standing in the doorway looked rumpled and adorable, all spiky haired and quiet, rubbing her eyes because her inner Viking hasn't had his morning coffee yet.
So finally, I notice that Theo isn't all that upset about his lack of tooth fairy bounty. And then he says, "Since I didn't get a dollar from the tooth fairy, I think you should give me one, Mom."
*BS detector! BS detector! BS detector!*
Yeah. About that.
So, we Discuss It Fiercely for a while in a classic dramatic arts class scene style. (What's my motivation? OK, YOU want to swindle the endless font of all good things out of another dollar. And YOU want the little weasel to shut up and get out of bed. Ready? And....go!)
Meanwhile, Riley has wandered closer and picked up Theo's Magic Eight Ball, which incidentally, has NEVER failed to give us a correct answer so far. She shakes the ball, listens to us squabble, shakes the ball some more...then reads -- READS -- the answer, "Yes! Theo is being a jerk."
Hang on a minute. Let me back up and explain that my son, as cute as he is, is not confrontational, which is why among other things playing soccer did not go over well with him. He's thin and willowy and bends this way and that in the stream of life, as an ancient Chinese philosopher might say. Or at least, a modern day part-Chinese pseudo philosophical nutcase might. But suffice to say, if there's a problem or something he wants, he will try to weasel his way around it.
So, when I went in his room to get him out of bed this morning -- he was comatose all except his rear end, which he was wiggling to his favorite song California Gurls...Yeah. I know. He sat up, started flipping his pillows around saying that the tooth fairy had taken his tooth, but hadn't left anything.
Zounds!
My first reaction was to look under the bed because first, I KNOW there's a dollar there somewhere. Because, hey man, the tooth fairy and I are, you know, TIGHT.
Meanwhile, Riley has woken up and is standing in the doorway looked rumpled and adorable, all spiky haired and quiet, rubbing her eyes because her inner Viking hasn't had his morning coffee yet.
So finally, I notice that Theo isn't all that upset about his lack of tooth fairy bounty. And then he says, "Since I didn't get a dollar from the tooth fairy, I think you should give me one, Mom."
*BS detector! BS detector! BS detector!*
Yeah. About that.
So, we Discuss It Fiercely for a while in a classic dramatic arts class scene style. (What's my motivation? OK, YOU want to swindle the endless font of all good things out of another dollar. And YOU want the little weasel to shut up and get out of bed. Ready? And....go!)
Meanwhile, Riley has wandered closer and picked up Theo's Magic Eight Ball, which incidentally, has NEVER failed to give us a correct answer so far. She shakes the ball, listens to us squabble, shakes the ball some more...then reads -- READS -- the answer, "Yes! Theo is being a jerk."