A promise is a promise
This is for my dearest annui. We chatted about L’Arc-en-Ciel’s 2002 crisis on twitter like 5 months ago, and I promised you to post tetsuya’s version. But due to my slowness you’ve probably forgotten about it. Sorry m(_ _)m
Well, I told you it could take long long time XD
I really hoped someone with better skills could do it instead of me >
I hope we can go on chatting here on lj. Twitter is great for updates, but sometimes I feel I need more space…
Well, take your time! I took mine too ne ^^;;;
Here is only Laruku-related part. If you want to read what follows just drop me a line <3
TETSUGAKU 2 - CHAPTER 7 fate [part 1]
I’ve always worked with the idea that
if I reach my limit
I can quit it anytime.
-It’s been 20 years since you formed L’Arc-en-Ciel. Have you ever faced the prospect of disbanding?
Well…of course. I mean, in 20 years it’s normal to deal with several problems. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that I could quit it anytime. I’ve always worked with the idea that if I reach my limit while working to the best of my ability, I can quit it anytime. This applies to L’Arc-en-Ciel, TETSUYA and my company GRANVIS.
-You’ve even thought of that!
I haven’t started a band because I wanted to become a professional musician. My aim is to do to perfection what I am given on each occasion. Having this in mind, I’ve always tried to improve myself, to work on what was wrong, aiming for the top. I’ve got this far in this way. What I get as a result of all this depends only on my present condition. That’s why, if I reach my limit, I think it’s fine to quit everything. How to put it?... It’s not that I can’t adapt myself to the music world or to the show business in Japan, it’s because I’ve the impression I can find in other fields people with high ambitions or passion. Besides, being the leader, I do take all the bashing, don’t I? if I did another job, I think I wouldn’t feel so much bad. I’m sure in another job it would work.
-Whenever you felt downhearted, how did you overcome those bad times? What did you live on to go one step further?
Endurance. Only endurance.
-Have you ever been unable to sleep because you were annoyed?
A lot of times. I tend to recall annoying things at night. I brood over them all the time, so I’m often unable to sleep. But don’t take me wrong: thinking “I want to quit”, and actually quitting are, as a matter of fact, two different things. As much as desiring to die is different from committing suicide. In what I do, there’s so much work behind the scenes, that even other members don’t know it. More than spadework, this work consists of things like setting up arrangements in advance and thinking about the master plan. There are plenty of jobs other members don’t seem to know. And those are the hardest to me. In other words, I’m in charge of different things, like ringing up whom it may concern to give instructions about spade work, or asking for some research. For this hard work, and a bunch of other things, I can’t get much credit from other members, staff, or even fans. You can’t see this behind-the-scenes-work, so maybe there’s nothing to do. But in that moment, I think I want to quit.
-L’Arc-en-Ciel is a peculiar band. No other band had so many rumors about disbanding.
A peculiar band, or maybe with a peculiar staff.
- Why don’t you speak much when you are with L’Arc-en-Ciel’s members, while when you are alone you become talkative?
It’s true, when I’m alone I’m pretty talkative. Because I don’t need the courage to speak in that atmosphere?
-What a leaden atmosphere it must be!
It is so. When we are together, I’m not the first to speak, because I wait for hyde to give his opinion. He’s the kind of person who thinks deeply about things and spends a lot of time on it. If other members don’t turn it down, they hardly say their opinion.
-I see.
I really dislike that atmosphere.
I didn’t want to carry on band activities
with a new vocalist.
So I thought: let’s disband.
- You said you’ve thought of quitting L’Arc-en-Ciel several times. But your band had a big crisis, too. Would you like to tell us the details?
It was in 2002 maybe. hyde’s manager came to my office and handed me an envelope, saying that he had received it directly from hyde. Inside there were the CDs I had lent him and a letter. In that letter he apologized for having kept those CDs for more than 10 years, and announced he wanted to quit the band.
-Honestly, what did you think about it at that moment?
I thought that once hyde decided it, nothing could be done. He wrote me a letter, so he had surely spent a lot of time reflecting upon this thing. Well…more than “nothing could be done”, I thought that, despite every effort to stop him, he wouldn’t change his mind.
-So you didn’t think of stopping him.
Not right away. Well, it’s not that I didn’t think of it… I couldn’t think of it.
-You needed a little bit of time to reflect.
What happened after? Oh yeah, I ate out with other members only. It was unusual for us to have dinner alone. Because we usually eat out with managers of staff members. I told them on that occasion.
-Do you remember what you said?
I told them I didn’t intend to go on with a new vocalist, so I was thinking of disbanding.
-What was other members’ reaction?
If I remember well, they didn’t say a word. Nobody told me “I want to go on” or “I don’t want to quit”. So I thought: “They are ok with disbanding”. I told them that I wasn’t confident enough to try to persuade hyde, so I didn’t stop him. I also told them that I didn’t like the idea of searching for a new vocalist and going on with him, so I suggested to disband. Our conversation ended at this point.
-Did your conversation go on in that direction?
On that day our conversation ended at that point, I think. I can’t remember how many days passed from that day, but after several weeks, I had a talk with hyde. Just the two of us. Why did I do that? Because I didn’t ask him directly his reason for quitting. In concrete terms. I thought: “It’s wrong not to ask him his reason, not to ask him anything. Let’s listen to this thing”. So I had a talk with hyde.
-I see.
After having listened to his reason, I felt it was possible to improve, at least a little bit, what hyde had told me to hate. After having listened to his reason, I said: “Well, it’s possible to improve that a bit. Can’t you think of hanging on a bit more?” He told me: “OK”
-Maybe hyde wanted to share with you what was weighing heavily on his mind…
Well, I hated some things, too. The atmosphere inside the band and the relationship with our record label were bad. When nobody among other members told me “I want to go on” during our meeting, I thought: “Then so be it”.
-I remember that you were in very low spirits.
I was really in very low spirits, you know.
-I thought you managed somehow to keep members together and to make activities go on.
In the end it became so, but at that time I didn’t think it would happen.
-I see.
Because I was thinking about several things, too. Until then, I had worked furiously to make the band move forward. Every time I realized that the schedule was not completely filled, I had a talk with the staff to fill it with other work. But during interviews, someone among members criticized my way of working, my way of managing the band. Even if I was working with great energy, focusing only on moving forward, during an interview someone criticized my policy of managing the band.
-So that’s what happened.
I was shocked of course, and I thought it was cruel. I was self-confident because we could get so far, and proud of my work, too. It was like I was told that my way of working was wrong. It was so mortifying that I thought of stopping it. Meanwhile the president of our label was unreasonable, too. Looking back, our label did very poorly at that time.
hyde said: “I think tecchan would be ok”.
I became the leader on that occasion.
-Among L’Arc-en-Ciel’s members, I can feel there are exquisite differences, but also a balance.
You’re right. Our band wasn’t originally formed only by a group of friends. Bands are usually formed by friends, or by a talented person who appeals to other members. Nearly all bands are formed in these two ways, but L’Arc-en-Ciel falls outside these two categories. Each of us is able to write songs, each one’s personality is outstanding. That’s why I can say we are a group of four artists. Even if you take into consideration rock bands all over the world, this is really rare.
-We naturally recognize you as L’Arc-en-Ciel’s leader now, but did you have this position since band formation?
I played a key role in the search for members and in band formation. We even gave the band the name I was suggesting. But at the beginning we didn’t have a leader. After some lives, we used to have dinner together. There were still the original members, hiro and pero-chan. On that occasion we discussed about the opportunity to have a leader: “In order to make activities proceed in an easier way, it’s better to have a leader”.
-And then?
hyde said it: “I think tecchan would be ok”. I became the leader on that occasion. If I hadn’t become the leader, my character would be different, I would relax and take it easy. I have always had sense of responsibility, but since when I became the leader, I’ve started to think I have to do things in an even more proper way. It is said that the role makes the man, isn’t it? That’s absolutely true. If I weren’t L’Arc-en-Ciel’s leader, I wouldn’t fuss so much about things. My character would be quite different, don’t you think so? It’s true that L’Arc-en-Ciel’s has trained me, and I’m thankful for that.
-What a nice speech!
If L’Arc-en-Ciel were a shop, I would be the manager, the shop keeper, probably. If a company, I would be the president. After I became a leader I’ve started to think I have to do things in an even more proper way.
-It’s precisely because also hyde was perceiving your talent, that he believed the leader would be a suitable role for you, I think. Coming to think of it, in L’Arc-en-Ciel’s history there have been 7 members in total. The 7 colours of the rainbow. In 1992 former guitarist hiro left, and ken joined the band. Then in 1993 the drummer pero changed the band configuration. Can you tell me about that period?
The president of our label, Ooishi-san, at the beginning of his career was an engineer, so he was quite fussy about the sound. He immediately told me to change the drummer. Well, you may call it a really overbearing speech, but actually it’s quite usual when an amateur band makes its debut. Since then, when people like other senpai told me the same, I would think: “Waah… here it comes (laughs)”.
-In a way, he foresaw it.
We released “DUNE” as indies, but we hadn’t a real artist shooting until we joined the label. At that time they took a two shot with only hyde and me. Of course, they also took a pic with all of us, and single shots for each member, but for some reasons they put only hyde and me on ads for “DUNE” at first.
[The picture he’s talking about is probably this one http://mei-24.livejournal.com/12974.html]
-That was revealing, wasn’t it?
To tell the truth, at that time Ooishi-san wanted to change the drummer and the guitarist. That’s why they put on ads the pic with only hyde and me.
-Why?
You should ask it to Ooishi-san, you know. But I told him I didn’t want absolutely to change the guitarist.
-So that’s how it went…
There were several opinions,
so, in the end,
if I had chosen a different path,
how it would be today?
-In L’Arc-en-Ciel, I think that the leader draws much criticism. For example, if a negative rumor spread, many times people think: “It’s tetsuya’s fault”. What do you think of it?
It’s like you said. It seems like good things are other members’ credit, bad ones my fault. Sometimes we had to say NO, and I had the job of doing it, due to my role. So I get all the blames.
-Indeed.
I want to add that I am also proud that I have been able to make my band move further as a leader. As for the results, of course it’s not all due to me, but I believe that I have been able to choose the right path. Because I am sure that each time I’m doing the best choice. For example, when sakura quitted, there were many ideas, as you may expect. The same happened when we did the Reincarnation live at Tokyo Dome. There were several opinions, so, in the end, if I had chosen a different path, how it would be today?
-At the time of your return with “L’Arc-en-Ciel 1997 Reincarnation” live, you were convinced that “if it’s not Tokyo Dome, it doesn’t have any meaning”, so you didn’t give in.
The manager we had at that time was against the idea. He said it was unreasonable, but as a result we sold out all the tickets in 4 minutes, the fastest selling in history. To tell the truth after sakura left, to my shock I was accused of having kicked sakura without mercy. In the end, even members thought that.
-So even other members ended up taking things this way…
But I don’t dislike sakura as a person. I reached that conclusion after a painful reflection, to make the band go further. Even before that accident, sakura brought us some problems. Sometimes he didn’t show up for rehearsal or work, and sometimes even for recording. To make an example, in Natsu no yuutsu - time to say goodbye, we recorded drums last (laughs)*. In the music clip, only the three of us are walking by the seashore, aren't we?** sakura was back home already, so we had to film with only the three of us. As far as work is concerned, there were some problems. Even if it hadn’t been for that accident, sooner or later it would have come to the surface, I think.
[*Drums are usually recorded first by the band.]
[**Here is the part of Natsu no yuutsu PV he’s talking about http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mei_24/29978972/40771/40771_original.jpg]
-So that’s what happened.
But as a person, I like sakura, even now. If I meet him, I stop by and talk. I was really on good terms with him. When we signed with the label, we had to work in Tokyo, so we lived in weekly mansions. We moved from place to place. In one of those, the rooms were big and in Japanese style. So we used to drag our futon in one room and sleep together. sakura was from Tokyo, so even if he could come back home, he decided to bring his futon from home to sleep there with us. I did many silly things with him. I really liked him as a person.
-So you had pleasant times, too.
Only if I think “these are two different things” I can protect the band, in the end. That’s why inside myself I was really sad when I was accused of “being merciless” and of “changing members easily”, after having made that hard choice and having taken together that painful decision. I know that many people form their band with their childhood friends, or their schoolmates. But L’Arc-en-Ciel has been formed in a different way, more like the Japanese national soccer team. Members were chosen with the same criteria. It was painful, but the decision we took together was the right one.
Well, I told you it could take long long time XD
I really hoped someone with better skills could do it instead of me >
I hope we can go on chatting here on lj. Twitter is great for updates, but sometimes I feel I need more space…
Well, take your time! I took mine too ne ^^;;;
Here is only Laruku-related part. If you want to read what follows just drop me a line <3
TETSUGAKU 2 - CHAPTER 7 fate [part 1]
I’ve always worked with the idea that
if I reach my limit
I can quit it anytime.
-It’s been 20 years since you formed L’Arc-en-Ciel. Have you ever faced the prospect of disbanding?
Well…of course. I mean, in 20 years it’s normal to deal with several problems. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that I could quit it anytime. I’ve always worked with the idea that if I reach my limit while working to the best of my ability, I can quit it anytime. This applies to L’Arc-en-Ciel, TETSUYA and my company GRANVIS.
-You’ve even thought of that!
I haven’t started a band because I wanted to become a professional musician. My aim is to do to perfection what I am given on each occasion. Having this in mind, I’ve always tried to improve myself, to work on what was wrong, aiming for the top. I’ve got this far in this way. What I get as a result of all this depends only on my present condition. That’s why, if I reach my limit, I think it’s fine to quit everything. How to put it?... It’s not that I can’t adapt myself to the music world or to the show business in Japan, it’s because I’ve the impression I can find in other fields people with high ambitions or passion. Besides, being the leader, I do take all the bashing, don’t I? if I did another job, I think I wouldn’t feel so much bad. I’m sure in another job it would work.
-Whenever you felt downhearted, how did you overcome those bad times? What did you live on to go one step further?
Endurance. Only endurance.
-Have you ever been unable to sleep because you were annoyed?
A lot of times. I tend to recall annoying things at night. I brood over them all the time, so I’m often unable to sleep. But don’t take me wrong: thinking “I want to quit”, and actually quitting are, as a matter of fact, two different things. As much as desiring to die is different from committing suicide. In what I do, there’s so much work behind the scenes, that even other members don’t know it. More than spadework, this work consists of things like setting up arrangements in advance and thinking about the master plan. There are plenty of jobs other members don’t seem to know. And those are the hardest to me. In other words, I’m in charge of different things, like ringing up whom it may concern to give instructions about spade work, or asking for some research. For this hard work, and a bunch of other things, I can’t get much credit from other members, staff, or even fans. You can’t see this behind-the-scenes-work, so maybe there’s nothing to do. But in that moment, I think I want to quit.
-L’Arc-en-Ciel is a peculiar band. No other band had so many rumors about disbanding.
A peculiar band, or maybe with a peculiar staff.
- Why don’t you speak much when you are with L’Arc-en-Ciel’s members, while when you are alone you become talkative?
It’s true, when I’m alone I’m pretty talkative. Because I don’t need the courage to speak in that atmosphere?
-What a leaden atmosphere it must be!
It is so. When we are together, I’m not the first to speak, because I wait for hyde to give his opinion. He’s the kind of person who thinks deeply about things and spends a lot of time on it. If other members don’t turn it down, they hardly say their opinion.
-I see.
I really dislike that atmosphere.
I didn’t want to carry on band activities
with a new vocalist.
So I thought: let’s disband.
- You said you’ve thought of quitting L’Arc-en-Ciel several times. But your band had a big crisis, too. Would you like to tell us the details?
It was in 2002 maybe. hyde’s manager came to my office and handed me an envelope, saying that he had received it directly from hyde. Inside there were the CDs I had lent him and a letter. In that letter he apologized for having kept those CDs for more than 10 years, and announced he wanted to quit the band.
-Honestly, what did you think about it at that moment?
I thought that once hyde decided it, nothing could be done. He wrote me a letter, so he had surely spent a lot of time reflecting upon this thing. Well…more than “nothing could be done”, I thought that, despite every effort to stop him, he wouldn’t change his mind.
-So you didn’t think of stopping him.
Not right away. Well, it’s not that I didn’t think of it… I couldn’t think of it.
-You needed a little bit of time to reflect.
What happened after? Oh yeah, I ate out with other members only. It was unusual for us to have dinner alone. Because we usually eat out with managers of staff members. I told them on that occasion.
-Do you remember what you said?
I told them I didn’t intend to go on with a new vocalist, so I was thinking of disbanding.
-What was other members’ reaction?
If I remember well, they didn’t say a word. Nobody told me “I want to go on” or “I don’t want to quit”. So I thought: “They are ok with disbanding”. I told them that I wasn’t confident enough to try to persuade hyde, so I didn’t stop him. I also told them that I didn’t like the idea of searching for a new vocalist and going on with him, so I suggested to disband. Our conversation ended at this point.
-Did your conversation go on in that direction?
On that day our conversation ended at that point, I think. I can’t remember how many days passed from that day, but after several weeks, I had a talk with hyde. Just the two of us. Why did I do that? Because I didn’t ask him directly his reason for quitting. In concrete terms. I thought: “It’s wrong not to ask him his reason, not to ask him anything. Let’s listen to this thing”. So I had a talk with hyde.
-I see.
After having listened to his reason, I felt it was possible to improve, at least a little bit, what hyde had told me to hate. After having listened to his reason, I said: “Well, it’s possible to improve that a bit. Can’t you think of hanging on a bit more?” He told me: “OK”
-Maybe hyde wanted to share with you what was weighing heavily on his mind…
Well, I hated some things, too. The atmosphere inside the band and the relationship with our record label were bad. When nobody among other members told me “I want to go on” during our meeting, I thought: “Then so be it”.
-I remember that you were in very low spirits.
I was really in very low spirits, you know.
-I thought you managed somehow to keep members together and to make activities go on.
In the end it became so, but at that time I didn’t think it would happen.
-I see.
Because I was thinking about several things, too. Until then, I had worked furiously to make the band move forward. Every time I realized that the schedule was not completely filled, I had a talk with the staff to fill it with other work. But during interviews, someone among members criticized my way of working, my way of managing the band. Even if I was working with great energy, focusing only on moving forward, during an interview someone criticized my policy of managing the band.
-So that’s what happened.
I was shocked of course, and I thought it was cruel. I was self-confident because we could get so far, and proud of my work, too. It was like I was told that my way of working was wrong. It was so mortifying that I thought of stopping it. Meanwhile the president of our label was unreasonable, too. Looking back, our label did very poorly at that time.
hyde said: “I think tecchan would be ok”.
I became the leader on that occasion.
-Among L’Arc-en-Ciel’s members, I can feel there are exquisite differences, but also a balance.
You’re right. Our band wasn’t originally formed only by a group of friends. Bands are usually formed by friends, or by a talented person who appeals to other members. Nearly all bands are formed in these two ways, but L’Arc-en-Ciel falls outside these two categories. Each of us is able to write songs, each one’s personality is outstanding. That’s why I can say we are a group of four artists. Even if you take into consideration rock bands all over the world, this is really rare.
-We naturally recognize you as L’Arc-en-Ciel’s leader now, but did you have this position since band formation?
I played a key role in the search for members and in band formation. We even gave the band the name I was suggesting. But at the beginning we didn’t have a leader. After some lives, we used to have dinner together. There were still the original members, hiro and pero-chan. On that occasion we discussed about the opportunity to have a leader: “In order to make activities proceed in an easier way, it’s better to have a leader”.
-And then?
hyde said it: “I think tecchan would be ok”. I became the leader on that occasion. If I hadn’t become the leader, my character would be different, I would relax and take it easy. I have always had sense of responsibility, but since when I became the leader, I’ve started to think I have to do things in an even more proper way. It is said that the role makes the man, isn’t it? That’s absolutely true. If I weren’t L’Arc-en-Ciel’s leader, I wouldn’t fuss so much about things. My character would be quite different, don’t you think so? It’s true that L’Arc-en-Ciel’s has trained me, and I’m thankful for that.
-What a nice speech!
If L’Arc-en-Ciel were a shop, I would be the manager, the shop keeper, probably. If a company, I would be the president. After I became a leader I’ve started to think I have to do things in an even more proper way.
-It’s precisely because also hyde was perceiving your talent, that he believed the leader would be a suitable role for you, I think. Coming to think of it, in L’Arc-en-Ciel’s history there have been 7 members in total. The 7 colours of the rainbow. In 1992 former guitarist hiro left, and ken joined the band. Then in 1993 the drummer pero changed the band configuration. Can you tell me about that period?
The president of our label, Ooishi-san, at the beginning of his career was an engineer, so he was quite fussy about the sound. He immediately told me to change the drummer. Well, you may call it a really overbearing speech, but actually it’s quite usual when an amateur band makes its debut. Since then, when people like other senpai told me the same, I would think: “Waah… here it comes (laughs)”.
-In a way, he foresaw it.
We released “DUNE” as indies, but we hadn’t a real artist shooting until we joined the label. At that time they took a two shot with only hyde and me. Of course, they also took a pic with all of us, and single shots for each member, but for some reasons they put only hyde and me on ads for “DUNE” at first.
[The picture he’s talking about is probably this one http://mei-24.livejournal.com/12974.html]
-That was revealing, wasn’t it?
To tell the truth, at that time Ooishi-san wanted to change the drummer and the guitarist. That’s why they put on ads the pic with only hyde and me.
-Why?
You should ask it to Ooishi-san, you know. But I told him I didn’t want absolutely to change the guitarist.
-So that’s how it went…
There were several opinions,
so, in the end,
if I had chosen a different path,
how it would be today?
-In L’Arc-en-Ciel, I think that the leader draws much criticism. For example, if a negative rumor spread, many times people think: “It’s tetsuya’s fault”. What do you think of it?
It’s like you said. It seems like good things are other members’ credit, bad ones my fault. Sometimes we had to say NO, and I had the job of doing it, due to my role. So I get all the blames.
-Indeed.
I want to add that I am also proud that I have been able to make my band move further as a leader. As for the results, of course it’s not all due to me, but I believe that I have been able to choose the right path. Because I am sure that each time I’m doing the best choice. For example, when sakura quitted, there were many ideas, as you may expect. The same happened when we did the Reincarnation live at Tokyo Dome. There were several opinions, so, in the end, if I had chosen a different path, how it would be today?
-At the time of your return with “L’Arc-en-Ciel 1997 Reincarnation” live, you were convinced that “if it’s not Tokyo Dome, it doesn’t have any meaning”, so you didn’t give in.
The manager we had at that time was against the idea. He said it was unreasonable, but as a result we sold out all the tickets in 4 minutes, the fastest selling in history. To tell the truth after sakura left, to my shock I was accused of having kicked sakura without mercy. In the end, even members thought that.
-So even other members ended up taking things this way…
But I don’t dislike sakura as a person. I reached that conclusion after a painful reflection, to make the band go further. Even before that accident, sakura brought us some problems. Sometimes he didn’t show up for rehearsal or work, and sometimes even for recording. To make an example, in Natsu no yuutsu - time to say goodbye, we recorded drums last (laughs)*. In the music clip, only the three of us are walking by the seashore, aren't we?** sakura was back home already, so we had to film with only the three of us. As far as work is concerned, there were some problems. Even if it hadn’t been for that accident, sooner or later it would have come to the surface, I think.
[*Drums are usually recorded first by the band.]
[**Here is the part of Natsu no yuutsu PV he’s talking about http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mei_24/29978972/40771/40771_original.jpg]
-So that’s what happened.
But as a person, I like sakura, even now. If I meet him, I stop by and talk. I was really on good terms with him. When we signed with the label, we had to work in Tokyo, so we lived in weekly mansions. We moved from place to place. In one of those, the rooms were big and in Japanese style. So we used to drag our futon in one room and sleep together. sakura was from Tokyo, so even if he could come back home, he decided to bring his futon from home to sleep there with us. I did many silly things with him. I really liked him as a person.
-So you had pleasant times, too.
Only if I think “these are two different things” I can protect the band, in the end. That’s why inside myself I was really sad when I was accused of “being merciless” and of “changing members easily”, after having made that hard choice and having taken together that painful decision. I know that many people form their band with their childhood friends, or their schoolmates. But L’Arc-en-Ciel has been formed in a different way, more like the Japanese national soccer team. Members were chosen with the same criteria. It was painful, but the decision we took together was the right one.