Meaning
So...today got off to a rough start. For one, I didn't got to sleep till 2:15 this morning...and two, I had this weird as dream.
I found myself thinking about Ashley in my sleep. I guess with this sudden feeling of being alone, I just started thinking about friendships and she came into mind. Well, the dream went like this:
I'm sitting in my room, with some free time, so I'm drawing and watching tv. The phone is sitting next to me because I usually expect a call from my mom, so it's just there. It starts to ring, so I look at the caller id, and it's Ashley. I hesitate to pick up, but I still do it anyway. I say "Hello" and whatnot, and she goes on to make small talk. I finally ask what was she calling for, and at that very moment, she breaks into tears and goes on to say that we should continue our friendship, that it was such a good thing, and that she had been trying to fill the void that used to be our existence and everything(seemed like stuff that Ashley wouldn't normally say, but it was my dream, an uncontrolled one mind you). At that very moment I awake to my alarm, and that was it.
So I'm not sure if that's a sign to do anything about this falling out of sorts with Ashley and me. I don't know. I really don't know anything anymore. For once in a long while...I don't have the answers. I'm clueless as to what is going on in my head. Do I miss her? Of course I do, but I try not to admit it cuz it was my decision in the first place to stop talking. I just couldn't handle the verbal attack after admitting that I was wrong in what I did. I tried to make amends. I really did. I think Ashley was beyond the stage of reasoning, and I just choked under the pressure.
I found myself thinking about Ashley in my sleep. I guess with this sudden feeling of being alone, I just started thinking about friendships and she came into mind. Well, the dream went like this:
I'm sitting in my room, with some free time, so I'm drawing and watching tv. The phone is sitting next to me because I usually expect a call from my mom, so it's just there. It starts to ring, so I look at the caller id, and it's Ashley. I hesitate to pick up, but I still do it anyway. I say "Hello" and whatnot, and she goes on to make small talk. I finally ask what was she calling for, and at that very moment, she breaks into tears and goes on to say that we should continue our friendship, that it was such a good thing, and that she had been trying to fill the void that used to be our existence and everything(seemed like stuff that Ashley wouldn't normally say, but it was my dream, an uncontrolled one mind you). At that very moment I awake to my alarm, and that was it.
So I'm not sure if that's a sign to do anything about this falling out of sorts with Ashley and me. I don't know. I really don't know anything anymore. For once in a long while...I don't have the answers. I'm clueless as to what is going on in my head. Do I miss her? Of course I do, but I try not to admit it cuz it was my decision in the first place to stop talking. I just couldn't handle the verbal attack after admitting that I was wrong in what I did. I tried to make amends. I really did. I think Ashley was beyond the stage of reasoning, and I just choked under the pressure.