someone save me if you will...
well... the past 2 days have been a blur. one big sad emotion-filled blur. let's start with friday, shall we?
went the the movies, went to work, no big deal.
Saturday it seems all i did was get high. i cleaned the building, met this kid mark, and kim, mark, anna and i hung out for the rest of the night. now, do not forget i was suppost to work 2 pm until 6 am. yeah... i got talked out of it. i called in claiming my grandfather was in the hospital. i should have went to work. things might have went better if i did.
anyways, i told kim i liked this kid. and i told her how i thought he was cute and this, that, and the other. ok... and kim liked him as well. so anyways, we all end up coming back to kims at say... 12? so... we got a bottle of vodka, which i drank none. i just didn't feel like it.
and i was SO fucking tired. (i only had 4 hours of sleep) and kim kept trying to keep me awake, and i wanted to kill her.
anyways, i woke up to mark in kims room, and kim giving me this ashamed look. it really doesn't matter. it's just.... ARG!
now to the part that really gets me:
i got high. a lot. and i don't want to become that person. i mean, i am trying to be a nurse, and nothing good will ever come my way if i keep doing this shit.
so.... look here. i am going to talk to kim and see if she would like to quit with me. if not, i am moving back in with my parents. i don't know. i don't want to move in with my parents. and if kim doesn't want to quit, that is her choice, i just don't want to be around it.
i just need a fucking break.
i don't want to go out. i don't want to be around people for awhile. like, at all.
i wish i could explain it better, but i cannot.
oh well....
i am just saying... i want to quit. and i know i have said this many times. but i am serious. i can't keep doing this shit. so... i will just erase it from my mind, and everything associated with it.
that should work.
i've thought way too much. but i just can't sleep right now. oh well.
if i leave here tomorrow, would you still remeber me?
no, seriously, i am considering just leaving.
-Amanda
went the the movies, went to work, no big deal.
Saturday it seems all i did was get high. i cleaned the building, met this kid mark, and kim, mark, anna and i hung out for the rest of the night. now, do not forget i was suppost to work 2 pm until 6 am. yeah... i got talked out of it. i called in claiming my grandfather was in the hospital. i should have went to work. things might have went better if i did.
anyways, i told kim i liked this kid. and i told her how i thought he was cute and this, that, and the other. ok... and kim liked him as well. so anyways, we all end up coming back to kims at say... 12? so... we got a bottle of vodka, which i drank none. i just didn't feel like it.
and i was SO fucking tired. (i only had 4 hours of sleep) and kim kept trying to keep me awake, and i wanted to kill her.
anyways, i woke up to mark in kims room, and kim giving me this ashamed look. it really doesn't matter. it's just.... ARG!
now to the part that really gets me:
i got high. a lot. and i don't want to become that person. i mean, i am trying to be a nurse, and nothing good will ever come my way if i keep doing this shit.
so.... look here. i am going to talk to kim and see if she would like to quit with me. if not, i am moving back in with my parents. i don't know. i don't want to move in with my parents. and if kim doesn't want to quit, that is her choice, i just don't want to be around it.
i just need a fucking break.
i don't want to go out. i don't want to be around people for awhile. like, at all.
i wish i could explain it better, but i cannot.
oh well....
i am just saying... i want to quit. and i know i have said this many times. but i am serious. i can't keep doing this shit. so... i will just erase it from my mind, and everything associated with it.
that should work.
i've thought way too much. but i just can't sleep right now. oh well.
if i leave here tomorrow, would you still remeber me?
no, seriously, i am considering just leaving.
-Amanda