i must kill the disease within me.
i have the feeling something is terribly wrong. i can't pinpoint it or say what it is... but i just feel wrong. like nothing really matters to me anymore, and i want things to matter. i want to care.
if i could blame it on anything, i would blame it on my pot usage. but either way it all comes down to me, and my stupidity. but things will be okay. and i know this.
living with kim is okay. i never see her anymore. i guess she feels everyone else is more important than myself, and quite honestly, i cannot blame her.
i can't really say i have any friends. i mean, yeah, i guess kim and mikey are my friends, but i just don't see it that way. i don't see anything the same anymore.
i feel really sad. like someone died or something. but being pushed aside is a sad thing. i wish i knew.
i'm so fat i'm fucked up.
i'm so skinny, i'm sick.
i'm just tired of the critics who keep talking that bullshit.
people think i am a cunt now, but they haven't seen nothing. i think i am becoming more angry and blunt as the days go by. i don't want to be this way, but i guess people like to "push my buttons" i felt that it needed quotations.
someone should love me. because i am not a bad person, not at all. because the only people i can think of that truly love me, is my parents.
but all good things must come to an end. i remember whenever chris told me that. god i miss him. maybe i'll see him. that would be nice, because he always makes me feel good inside. i thought Fozzy was my friend, but i don't know. i love fozzy a lot. and i don't think he realizes how much i care for him.
but then again, no one knows something good when they see it, only whenever they lose it.
i should die. because i just feel like such an awful person sometimes.
but oh well, life goes on.
i need to go job hunting. bad.
i wish i could just give up. but i can't. i have so much to live for. like those moments whenever everything seems right.
<3: the cunt
if i could blame it on anything, i would blame it on my pot usage. but either way it all comes down to me, and my stupidity. but things will be okay. and i know this.
living with kim is okay. i never see her anymore. i guess she feels everyone else is more important than myself, and quite honestly, i cannot blame her.
i can't really say i have any friends. i mean, yeah, i guess kim and mikey are my friends, but i just don't see it that way. i don't see anything the same anymore.
i feel really sad. like someone died or something. but being pushed aside is a sad thing. i wish i knew.
i'm so fat i'm fucked up.
i'm so skinny, i'm sick.
i'm just tired of the critics who keep talking that bullshit.
people think i am a cunt now, but they haven't seen nothing. i think i am becoming more angry and blunt as the days go by. i don't want to be this way, but i guess people like to "push my buttons" i felt that it needed quotations.
someone should love me. because i am not a bad person, not at all. because the only people i can think of that truly love me, is my parents.
but all good things must come to an end. i remember whenever chris told me that. god i miss him. maybe i'll see him. that would be nice, because he always makes me feel good inside. i thought Fozzy was my friend, but i don't know. i love fozzy a lot. and i don't think he realizes how much i care for him.
but then again, no one knows something good when they see it, only whenever they lose it.
i should die. because i just feel like such an awful person sometimes.
but oh well, life goes on.
i need to go job hunting. bad.
i wish i could just give up. but i can't. i have so much to live for. like those moments whenever everything seems right.
<3: the cunt