worst birthday ever
on this day, twenty years ago, a child was born that would change the face of humanity as we know it. this bright, shining star would touch upon hundreds of peoples lives and make them realize how precious a gift life really was. some would say god's gift to mankind, but in actuality closer to god's gift to himself, almost too good to share with the rest of the world. sexy, understanding, sexy, deep and intelligent and also sexy. generations will look back in praise. a new messiah? no, too humble to hold such a title. a roguish guardian angel to all? closer. features that equate to looking into the shining face of god and having him proclaim: "you are my most wondrous creation"? almost. scrum-tra-lescent? bulls-eye. whether your problems involve giant spiders or talking about feelings or just lack of life at a party, a deaf ear will never be turned. so on this day, a day that will be remembered always, take a moment to just appreciate how much you owe to eternity's first, best and only, Scarlett Johanson. thank you Scarlett, and happy 20th birthday.