Feb 26, 2009 04:00
My thoughts have been revolving around the idea of something growing inside me. I can't shake the idea for the life of me. Usually, I would've been scared that this was happening, but instead, I find myself wide open, and elcoming all the things that make the feeling feel wonderful. I feel as if my head is clear, I know what to do next, even if some other things don't happen, my goals still get accomplished in the meantime. Whether or not I end up with someone as important as she is right now is irrelevant. I'm focused on God. And she loves the fact that I do.
I'm switching my lifestyle. I haven't been able to get drunk since I agreed to go to church with her. I've tried, but it just loses interest after the first drink. I mull around sober with all my friends getting into drunken fun, and wonder whats it's like on the other side. Well... not really most of the time, but, y'know.
I'm reliving the dreams I had about my boo idea. Except it's all anime-like and much more compelling with more backstory. I'm excited to write it again.
Savor the idea of love, because one day you'll find it, and it'll never taste like it tastes when you find the one.
I've released everything that was bogging me down these past few months. This past year. These past few years. I tried to blame it all on one person, but it went much deeper than her, even though she cracked the lid. In some odd way, I'm glad she did break me. I'd never feel like this if it wasn't for her. But no way I'm gonna tell her that. I don't care that much anymore.
I like this soaring feeling. Everyday is a good day to be awake. Praise be to God.
I pray that this change of pace stays intact.
The love you make is equal to the love you take. Yeah man!.
thoughts