Is the neverending push finally over?
Got my fish last week. The great qualification scramble is, for the most part, over. I still need to qualify a couple more things, but I actually want to qualify these watchstations, so my motivation may suddenly reappear...
But really, what I've gained is a little more peace of mind, and a little less fear about going to work. The chain of command trusts me with a submarine. I suppose that's good enough for me.
So downhill from here? Not in the least, I still have much more growing to do, but at least I can focus more time on my actual job instead of quals...
Moving on to more important things... So my fair lady apparently believes that she did nothing to help me achieve my qualification in submarines. Granted, she may not have been present for half of my qual period, but she still played an extremely important role. If you've ever been underway, one of few things that can drive a submariner insane is the Dear John letter. That feared piece of communication where your favored lady states that she can no longer stand the submariner life and leaves. The destructive power of receiving one of those letters is only a small piece of evidence of the magnitude that these women have over our lives. They are our hopes and dreams, they are who we think of right when we drift off to sleep and those who we wish to hang onto after we wake. When the alarms are sounding, one of my first thoughts is, 'Will I see my baby again?' which sets into motion a number of following reactions to fight whatever danger is presented that will prevent me from coming home alive. As sailors we are trained to put mission first, then the ship, then other sailors, and finally self. The ideals of freedom and democracy are all well and good, but at the end of the day, however, I just want to be with my girl.
I've seen men literally go crazy and withdraw from normal tendencies underway due to problems at home. The power these females have over us is a little scary. A great motivator, no doubt, and I like it that way, mostly because I trust my girl to be there when I come back.
So when she says that she doesn't know what she does for me, I only hope that she never figures it out because that would require her to be away from me with too many unnecessary dangers for too much unnecessary time. It's one of those, "You just won't know until you go through what I go through."
She'll have to trust me. Trust me enough to know that by existing you have provided a motivating force for a sailor that was mostly unmotivated to perform well due to basic disagreements with a system that isn't working.
It does suck a little bit that I can't explain to her what she means to me, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure it would scare her off. But my life with her in it is thrilling; my hearts beats a little faster everytime I see her, and I still try to prolong the time we spend together. Life just makes sense with her in the picture.
So if you ever read this darling, know that you do a great deal for me, and I only hope that one day I can find the words or actions to show you how much you mean to me.
But really, what I've gained is a little more peace of mind, and a little less fear about going to work. The chain of command trusts me with a submarine. I suppose that's good enough for me.
So downhill from here? Not in the least, I still have much more growing to do, but at least I can focus more time on my actual job instead of quals...
Moving on to more important things... So my fair lady apparently believes that she did nothing to help me achieve my qualification in submarines. Granted, she may not have been present for half of my qual period, but she still played an extremely important role. If you've ever been underway, one of few things that can drive a submariner insane is the Dear John letter. That feared piece of communication where your favored lady states that she can no longer stand the submariner life and leaves. The destructive power of receiving one of those letters is only a small piece of evidence of the magnitude that these women have over our lives. They are our hopes and dreams, they are who we think of right when we drift off to sleep and those who we wish to hang onto after we wake. When the alarms are sounding, one of my first thoughts is, 'Will I see my baby again?' which sets into motion a number of following reactions to fight whatever danger is presented that will prevent me from coming home alive. As sailors we are trained to put mission first, then the ship, then other sailors, and finally self. The ideals of freedom and democracy are all well and good, but at the end of the day, however, I just want to be with my girl.
I've seen men literally go crazy and withdraw from normal tendencies underway due to problems at home. The power these females have over us is a little scary. A great motivator, no doubt, and I like it that way, mostly because I trust my girl to be there when I come back.
So when she says that she doesn't know what she does for me, I only hope that she never figures it out because that would require her to be away from me with too many unnecessary dangers for too much unnecessary time. It's one of those, "You just won't know until you go through what I go through."
She'll have to trust me. Trust me enough to know that by existing you have provided a motivating force for a sailor that was mostly unmotivated to perform well due to basic disagreements with a system that isn't working.
It does suck a little bit that I can't explain to her what she means to me, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure it would scare her off. But my life with her in it is thrilling; my hearts beats a little faster everytime I see her, and I still try to prolong the time we spend together. Life just makes sense with her in the picture.
So if you ever read this darling, know that you do a great deal for me, and I only hope that one day I can find the words or actions to show you how much you mean to me.