let me be your whore
Today, after my internal debate about asking/not asking Dave if he is having sex with other people. I called Dave. Big surprise, I asked Dave if he meets up with others for sex. He asks me why I'm asking and I tell him,
"Because I'm wondering if you're having sex even when you know I'm available for sex."
"but, matthew, You mean more to me than just some quick fuck."
"Yeah, I know, but I'd enjoy even a quickie."
"hmmmmm, " says Dave, "We need to talk about this more. Not while I'm here at work."
"Okay"
We have a date for tomorrow night.
Anyway, I decided not to meet up with James at the bar. Instead I stayed home and played on the internet. About 8ish, dave calls and asks if he can come over. That's great except I just spent two hours masturbating and it was my third time today. If I'd known he was coming over, I'd have saved up a bit...lol.
Well, Dave comes over; walks in the door and attacks me like a dog in heat. Fuck yeah!!! He starts kissing me, telling me how much he loves me, and undressing me at the door--not the first time the neighbors have gotten a eye full of my sexcapades! (Actually, James was the first to give them a show. One night, he came over kinda drunk and went down on me in the hallway inside my apartment. Unfortunately, there is a window there that looks out to a shared air vent. I can see three other people's apartment and they can see into mine at the front door. Anyway, James preceded to give me a great blow job! However, I digress, back to tonight's events.)
So Dave is kissing me and ravishing me, which is wonderful, and I can taste the alcohol on his breath.
"Dave, this is wonderful, but what's up?"
"Oh matthew, did I offend you today? Did I do something to hurt you today?"
Now I see what's going on, he is concerned about my question re: sex with other people.
"Matthew, I have NEVER passed up an opportunity to be with you to have sex with someone else. NEVER!"
My sweet Dave, he's worried he has upset me, so he came over tonight to reassure me. God, I love this silly (but unavailable) man. As he strips me and himself, we stumble to the bedroom. we fall on the bed and continue kissing and gropping. Once he slows down a bit, i start to talk to him.
"Dave, ..."
"Matthew, I don't ever want you to think this is only about sex. I love you too much. I don't want to ever use you like that...not 'stolen moments.' "
At this point, I am on top of Dave. I take his head in my hands,
"Dave, I love you. I know you love me. That's why it doesn't always have to be everything. Sometimes, I want to be your whore, baby. Sometimes, i want to get nasty with you and not have it be about making love--because when we're together, it *is* about love, so it's not about exploitation. do you understand? I fantasize about arranging to meet you at the gym and sucking you off in the steam room, or going to a glory hole and sucking you off thru the hole--you know, getting nasty and raw with you. I love you, baby."
"I guess I understand. i know this is making me really hot. So you want to get nasty with me huh?!?!" He gives me a evil grin.
"Yeah, Baby, I want to try it all with you."
We end up on my massage table. Dave asks for an erotic massage, which I happen to be quite experienced at giving, so...erotic massage it is. I massage him for a while, I pleasure him for a while and he returns the favor.
We end up back in my bedroom, where we make like two dogs in heat, and he fucks me doggie style. He finally, wears out and stops fucking me. he ends up jacking off, but as he cums, I take him in my mouth...hehehe..again, back to my present oral fixation. Then He fucks my mouth--gently--while I cum. Yep, I came for the fourth time today. You'd think I was a teenager, for God sakes! LOL.
Afterward, we cuddle and caress. Briefly, we talk. he says:
"I can't give you up; but ultimately, you're going to have to find someone else."
"I know, baby. I knew that before I fell in love with you. I still know that."
"But please don't leave me, matthew. I love you so much. I know I'm being a bad person, but I love you more than I want to be a good person."
"Dave, I need you right now. Okay? I'm not going anywhere."
"Okay, we have today. I love you."
"I love you, too, dave."
So, there you have it. I try to keep my eyes wide open as I dance along the precipes of love and sex. Are we being foolish? Yes. Am I continuing to look around at other people? Yes. Am I ready to give up dave? NOPE! I really need his love and supprt right now. As long as it continues to work, we continue in our 'relationship.'
"Because I'm wondering if you're having sex even when you know I'm available for sex."
"but, matthew, You mean more to me than just some quick fuck."
"Yeah, I know, but I'd enjoy even a quickie."
"hmmmmm, " says Dave, "We need to talk about this more. Not while I'm here at work."
"Okay"
We have a date for tomorrow night.
Anyway, I decided not to meet up with James at the bar. Instead I stayed home and played on the internet. About 8ish, dave calls and asks if he can come over. That's great except I just spent two hours masturbating and it was my third time today. If I'd known he was coming over, I'd have saved up a bit...lol.
Well, Dave comes over; walks in the door and attacks me like a dog in heat. Fuck yeah!!! He starts kissing me, telling me how much he loves me, and undressing me at the door--not the first time the neighbors have gotten a eye full of my sexcapades! (Actually, James was the first to give them a show. One night, he came over kinda drunk and went down on me in the hallway inside my apartment. Unfortunately, there is a window there that looks out to a shared air vent. I can see three other people's apartment and they can see into mine at the front door. Anyway, James preceded to give me a great blow job! However, I digress, back to tonight's events.)
So Dave is kissing me and ravishing me, which is wonderful, and I can taste the alcohol on his breath.
"Dave, this is wonderful, but what's up?"
"Oh matthew, did I offend you today? Did I do something to hurt you today?"
Now I see what's going on, he is concerned about my question re: sex with other people.
"Matthew, I have NEVER passed up an opportunity to be with you to have sex with someone else. NEVER!"
My sweet Dave, he's worried he has upset me, so he came over tonight to reassure me. God, I love this silly (but unavailable) man. As he strips me and himself, we stumble to the bedroom. we fall on the bed and continue kissing and gropping. Once he slows down a bit, i start to talk to him.
"Dave, ..."
"Matthew, I don't ever want you to think this is only about sex. I love you too much. I don't want to ever use you like that...not 'stolen moments.' "
At this point, I am on top of Dave. I take his head in my hands,
"Dave, I love you. I know you love me. That's why it doesn't always have to be everything. Sometimes, I want to be your whore, baby. Sometimes, i want to get nasty with you and not have it be about making love--because when we're together, it *is* about love, so it's not about exploitation. do you understand? I fantasize about arranging to meet you at the gym and sucking you off in the steam room, or going to a glory hole and sucking you off thru the hole--you know, getting nasty and raw with you. I love you, baby."
"I guess I understand. i know this is making me really hot. So you want to get nasty with me huh?!?!" He gives me a evil grin.
"Yeah, Baby, I want to try it all with you."
We end up on my massage table. Dave asks for an erotic massage, which I happen to be quite experienced at giving, so...erotic massage it is. I massage him for a while, I pleasure him for a while and he returns the favor.
We end up back in my bedroom, where we make like two dogs in heat, and he fucks me doggie style. He finally, wears out and stops fucking me. he ends up jacking off, but as he cums, I take him in my mouth...hehehe..again, back to my present oral fixation. Then He fucks my mouth--gently--while I cum. Yep, I came for the fourth time today. You'd think I was a teenager, for God sakes! LOL.
Afterward, we cuddle and caress. Briefly, we talk. he says:
"I can't give you up; but ultimately, you're going to have to find someone else."
"I know, baby. I knew that before I fell in love with you. I still know that."
"But please don't leave me, matthew. I love you so much. I know I'm being a bad person, but I love you more than I want to be a good person."
"Dave, I need you right now. Okay? I'm not going anywhere."
"Okay, we have today. I love you."
"I love you, too, dave."
So, there you have it. I try to keep my eyes wide open as I dance along the precipes of love and sex. Are we being foolish? Yes. Am I continuing to look around at other people? Yes. Am I ready to give up dave? NOPE! I really need his love and supprt right now. As long as it continues to work, we continue in our 'relationship.'