(no subject)
Okay, this is my second try for posting this thing, had a little HTML coding screw up and I had to delete the first entry. Should be working now, sorry for the trouble.
Story Or Series Title: When life gives you Robots
Fandom: Avengers/Transformers crossover
Culprit Author's name: Transformers girl 1234
Full Name (plus titles if any): Jamie. No last name given
Full Species(es): most likely mutant, but it's not specified
Hair Color (include adjectives): brown and long
Eye Color (include adjectives): blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: robot arm
Special Possessions (if any): a room at the Avengers Mansion.
Annoying Origin: Her parents abandonned her when she was two, grandparents took care of her until she was six, when her powers started manifesting, then they sent her to an orphanage because evil doctors wanted to experiment on her or something. Then the Avengers adopted her on a whim. She's 13 now.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is adopted by the Avengers when they spot her on the street and have a single casual conversation with her. Which Avenger is her legal guardian is not said, she just lives with them and is an active (or soon-to-be active) member of the team.
Annoying Special Abilities: Her powers are actually pretty vague. She has “robotic powers”, some of her flesh, mostly her arms I think, has turned to metal or something. Can manifest a robot armor around herself, complete with sword and energy weapons. Some sword-fighting skills that could have been taught to her or that she just pulled out of her ass.
Other Annoying Traits: Walks around in public with a robot arm with no real trouble, despite this being the Marvel universe where mutants are feared, hated and persecuted. The author reassures us that her time in the orphanage was not a living hell and she was not bullied or abused in any way. Strange, that would have been one of the few times I could actually buy the Sue being mistreated here, because it would absolutely make sense in this universe.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
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Jamie looked up as she readied her sword. 'Ready!' she called in her mind as she jumped to the training dummy, kicking, slicing, and totaling it. What felt like minutes to Jamie, was seconds to Steve Rodgers, who walked in while Jamie was training.
"That's the fifth one this week." He stated as Jamie walked up to him, retracting her armor and sword. (hey, if you want your practice dummy to stay intact, don’t ask her to go at it with a sword) "Isn't that a good thing?" Jamie asked chuckling. "Fury wants you in the lab with Tony and Bruce." Steve said as he walked out. Jamie shrugged as she walked out, leaving the butchered training dummy in the room.
When Jamie reached the lab, she saw Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and Nick Fury, around a table. On the table was a gadget that Jamie had no idea what it would do. "What's that doohickey?" (what modern teenager uses that word?) Jamie asked. They all looked up from there work.
"This, dohicky, if it works properly, will go into another dohicky and..." While tony was talking, he was also working on the dohicky, in result, it shocked him. "Ow." he stopped and said, looking at his finger. "if it works, we maybe able to Teleport to other worlds, dimensions, and times of our lives." Bruce finished as Tony concentrated on the machine. (…Yeah, obvious plot devise is obvious.)
"OK, well, what do you need me for?" Jamie asked as she studied the work. Tony and Bruce looked at each other then to Fury. "We need you to charge the machine with your energy cannon." Fury said as he looked at all of them. (Um… *points to Tony and the glowy thing on his chest* why not just use that?) "Well, what will it do when I activate it? Will it explode, or shoot something, or disappear, or...well, you get my point, there are a lot of stuff that could happen." Jamie said. (You have so much faith in two of the greatest scientific minds of your time, girl)
Bruce spoke next, "We don't know that until we power it up." (Avengers scientific division: we build crap without knowing what it does) Jamie nodded and looked up. "I like where this is going..." she said as she took out her phone. "Could I take a picture before we test the teleporter thingy?" Jamie asked as she studied more of the teleporter. (I gotta post this on Facebook.)
Tony and Bruce looked at each other with confusion them spoke. "Sure." (it's not top secret or anything)
After Tony and Bruce explained the machine, everyone agreed to test it. "Lets start." Bruce said nodding to Fury, who seemed impressed. When Tony told Jamie to put her energy cannon to a opening and shoot, Jamie did as she was told. When she was done, Bruce started the Teleporter. (We could use a little scene description here. Are they all just standing around the machine? What does the machine even look like? The readers want to know!)
The gadget imminently started humming and became louder by the second. Jamie grabbed her bag in excitement as the humming became louder. A few more seconds and the humming seemed to get too loud. Tony, Bruce, and Fury looked at each other in worry. (NO. Tony and Bruce would be monitering the machine and trying to control the situation, they would not look at each other like scared little kids. And Jamie should not even been in the room, she has no purpose being there after she powers the machine (that they could power without her anyway)
Then, without warning, a blue explosion replaced the hum and the peoples excitement with fear.
When the explosion settled, and everyone was aware what happened, Jamie was gone. (Man, don’t you just hate when an explosion affects a single person and leaves everybody else in the room untouched?)