walking with purpose
Catching up very quickly -- finding my center again feels like opening a door where all this clarity has been pooling up, waiting to crash down on me. It's a rush that makes me feel odd but I find that I can't bear the thought of running from it. I scrambled to finish the last minute thing my client dropped on my lap -- I was very happy to be able to get things taken care of. I'm still not finished, but I took a short nap, and I have tea already made. I carefully manage my caffeine -- I don't drink 3 cups in an hour and wonder why the room is spinning. The stronger the clarity within me gets, I remember my agenda and why I sharply changed the course of my life in the first place.
I wanted to become free to be consumed by my passions.
So I went to sleep to nourish my body. I made myself a big plate of protein and yumminess, because I knew I'd need the energy to stay awake. I did take a powerful 2 and a half hour nap in which I just...rested. I want to clear at least another 8 thousand words before I rest for the evening. If I pull my head out of my ass, that means I will be done before midnight.
I went back and cast aside everything that's been pissing me off about my attitude towards fanfiction. I cannot absorb the things that bother other people, because they don't fit me. I don't give a damn about much except following the muse. And I can tell that in the last few weeks, the muse is more pissed off with me than ever. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. My confidence is what has led me to this point, so deviating from it is something that I just cannot do. For any reason.
I sat down with my tea, put my headphones on and the story fell off my fingers. Sentence over sentence, line over line. Hooks and word pictures and dialogue and flashbacks. I felt a little of that restlessness fall away.
Ah, so that's it. This is why I've been restless -- my mind thinks I'm forcing it to see writing as a chore. I went back and studied my campaigns, old entries on my blog, and clippings from twitter. The world cannot help but embrace a person with vision and determination. I've never been more convinced of anything in my life that I'm doing what I am supposed to do. Suppressing my own desires is...not good. I don't function well when I can't do what I want. :)
I hummed to myself. I'm not out of time. I'm in the right place, doing what I need to do and having fun along the way.
I don't think I'll have any problem shattering April's projected sales goal at all.
Oh! I WILL be going on vacation this weekend. My client is going on vacation, and I'm essentially mirroring his schedule. If I can get his stuff + client G's stuff out of the way tonight, I will have all day tomorrow to catch up. Yay me! Have to tell my friend S that the marketing mentorship thing is suspended so I can hit these numbers already. I'm wide awake, there's tea on the pot and this weekend should be fic weekend so I'm already feeling like a bad bitch! YEAH! Let's get it!
Too long, didn't read version - THE BITCH IS BACK, Y'ALL!
edit one -- cranked out 7,300 words today. Not bad. I still have about 20K ahead of me, but I'm confident as hell since about 15K of that will practically flow off my fingers. I can't wait.
However, I'm going to take care of myself and get some rest instead of gleefully staying up till 6am. See, I'm learning. :)
I wanted to become free to be consumed by my passions.
So I went to sleep to nourish my body. I made myself a big plate of protein and yumminess, because I knew I'd need the energy to stay awake. I did take a powerful 2 and a half hour nap in which I just...rested. I want to clear at least another 8 thousand words before I rest for the evening. If I pull my head out of my ass, that means I will be done before midnight.
I went back and cast aside everything that's been pissing me off about my attitude towards fanfiction. I cannot absorb the things that bother other people, because they don't fit me. I don't give a damn about much except following the muse. And I can tell that in the last few weeks, the muse is more pissed off with me than ever. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. My confidence is what has led me to this point, so deviating from it is something that I just cannot do. For any reason.
I sat down with my tea, put my headphones on and the story fell off my fingers. Sentence over sentence, line over line. Hooks and word pictures and dialogue and flashbacks. I felt a little of that restlessness fall away.
Ah, so that's it. This is why I've been restless -- my mind thinks I'm forcing it to see writing as a chore. I went back and studied my campaigns, old entries on my blog, and clippings from twitter. The world cannot help but embrace a person with vision and determination. I've never been more convinced of anything in my life that I'm doing what I am supposed to do. Suppressing my own desires is...not good. I don't function well when I can't do what I want. :)
I hummed to myself. I'm not out of time. I'm in the right place, doing what I need to do and having fun along the way.
I don't think I'll have any problem shattering April's projected sales goal at all.
Oh! I WILL be going on vacation this weekend. My client is going on vacation, and I'm essentially mirroring his schedule. If I can get his stuff + client G's stuff out of the way tonight, I will have all day tomorrow to catch up. Yay me! Have to tell my friend S that the marketing mentorship thing is suspended so I can hit these numbers already. I'm wide awake, there's tea on the pot and this weekend should be fic weekend so I'm already feeling like a bad bitch! YEAH! Let's get it!
Too long, didn't read version - THE BITCH IS BACK, Y'ALL!
edit one -- cranked out 7,300 words today. Not bad. I still have about 20K ahead of me, but I'm confident as hell since about 15K of that will practically flow off my fingers. I can't wait.
However, I'm going to take care of myself and get some rest instead of gleefully staying up till 6am. See, I'm learning. :)