School is lonely today...
I haven't really had a chance to update my journal, so I guess I got a lot to say this time...
Well, I finally got the results back for my PH Probe test. For those with a bad memory like myself, I had this test to see how much acid is coming up from my asophogus. Well, a few days ago we got the results back and apparently they came back very abnormal. I guess there is so much acid coming up that its a pretty big deal. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me since 7th grade. I have had stomach probs my whole life and I have always known something wasnt right with it. I have had tons of tests done on me and now finally they actually found what the problem is. I guess I feel pretty relieved. It's gonna be a painful surgery, but worth it in the end. It's gonna take me about a month to heal. They are going to go in through my belly button (which is weird) and then tie a knot in my stomach and make it so nothing can come back up. I won't be able to puke or burp or anything. Which personally kinda scares me. What if I need to puke? I guess I'll need to do more research on this surgery. All I know is I'm not gonna be able to eat anything for about a week or so. Only fluids. Which is okay with me cause I don't feel like going on a diet before summer. With this surgery I will definetly lose a lot of weight. One because I can't eat anything and two because they are going to make my stomach smaller when they tie that knot, so then I wont be able to eat as much. I'm totally okay with this weight loss factor. Hopefully I can milk that one pretty good, cause dieting sucks. I gotta lose this extra weight before summer. There is no way I'm looking gross in a bikini. haha fuck that.
I also need to start training for the walk. I'm not quite sure how I am going to raise $1,000. I still got a while to go. I will have to start sending out letters and I will probably end up talking to the city council again. If I can get back in the groove like last time I won't have a problem raising this much money at all.
I feel sorta confused about stuff. I wish I wouldn't sit and think about stuff all the time. Analyzing everything doesn't make it any easier. I am so sick of people fucking with my mind. It just makes me more fucked up then I already am and that sucks. Its hard for me to figure all this out. I think I just need time to get to know him a little better. When I think about it I can't see him being like the people who have hurt me, but I didn't think those people would hurt me either. Confusion sucks ass. Sometimes it just seems like it would just be so much easier to not take that chance, but at the same time it feels like I should. I just need to figure him out first. I'm sure things will plan out how they are supposed to be. Things will fall into place eventually. No worries needed...
Well, I finally got the results back for my PH Probe test. For those with a bad memory like myself, I had this test to see how much acid is coming up from my asophogus. Well, a few days ago we got the results back and apparently they came back very abnormal. I guess there is so much acid coming up that its a pretty big deal. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me since 7th grade. I have had stomach probs my whole life and I have always known something wasnt right with it. I have had tons of tests done on me and now finally they actually found what the problem is. I guess I feel pretty relieved. It's gonna be a painful surgery, but worth it in the end. It's gonna take me about a month to heal. They are going to go in through my belly button (which is weird) and then tie a knot in my stomach and make it so nothing can come back up. I won't be able to puke or burp or anything. Which personally kinda scares me. What if I need to puke? I guess I'll need to do more research on this surgery. All I know is I'm not gonna be able to eat anything for about a week or so. Only fluids. Which is okay with me cause I don't feel like going on a diet before summer. With this surgery I will definetly lose a lot of weight. One because I can't eat anything and two because they are going to make my stomach smaller when they tie that knot, so then I wont be able to eat as much. I'm totally okay with this weight loss factor. Hopefully I can milk that one pretty good, cause dieting sucks. I gotta lose this extra weight before summer. There is no way I'm looking gross in a bikini. haha fuck that.
I also need to start training for the walk. I'm not quite sure how I am going to raise $1,000. I still got a while to go. I will have to start sending out letters and I will probably end up talking to the city council again. If I can get back in the groove like last time I won't have a problem raising this much money at all.
I feel sorta confused about stuff. I wish I wouldn't sit and think about stuff all the time. Analyzing everything doesn't make it any easier. I am so sick of people fucking with my mind. It just makes me more fucked up then I already am and that sucks. Its hard for me to figure all this out. I think I just need time to get to know him a little better. When I think about it I can't see him being like the people who have hurt me, but I didn't think those people would hurt me either. Confusion sucks ass. Sometimes it just seems like it would just be so much easier to not take that chance, but at the same time it feels like I should. I just need to figure him out first. I'm sure things will plan out how they are supposed to be. Things will fall into place eventually. No worries needed...