(no subject)
worst fucking night in a long time. this kind of night reminds me of why i needed to move out in the first place. i did all this crap to get today off, come home and go to the fair and spend time with my family and maybe have a clam bake tonight.
what i've got instead: 1) a grandpa who refers to me as "waitress" and whines incessantly about what he needs to have fetched for him next, and how lousy he's doing 2) a computer who refuses to comply with my efforts in transferring over all my music onto my laptop, HOURS of pretty much wasted work 3) some shitty mini chocolate cakes that i am supposed to have made for james' birthday tomorrow that aren't turning out AT ALL and 4) a dad who is taking it very personally that the kitchen is DISGUSTING and i don't mean dirty dishes....
i mean ants crawling all over the counters and food that he refuses to put away, raw chicken leaking all over a pile of mail, cheese in the fridge the color of coal, things i can't even lift out of the fridge because they are permanently sealed to the shelf and all kinds things from the freezer just left out on the counter to go rotten.
i guess i may have come across as being in attack mode, but i said i didn't mean it bad, just that the fridge was kind of a mess and there is clutter everywhere. it's not even that it grosses me out, although it does, but quite frankly i don't want my dad living like that and it makes me worried. i'm sad for him that he doesn't have anyone around to help him with that stuff and mad at him for not taking more pride.
this is just one of those times where i am not doing anything right at all. not even having a positive attitude. i don't even want to be here anymore. now i have to get through a stupid party tomorrow and go home.
what i've got instead: 1) a grandpa who refers to me as "waitress" and whines incessantly about what he needs to have fetched for him next, and how lousy he's doing 2) a computer who refuses to comply with my efforts in transferring over all my music onto my laptop, HOURS of pretty much wasted work 3) some shitty mini chocolate cakes that i am supposed to have made for james' birthday tomorrow that aren't turning out AT ALL and 4) a dad who is taking it very personally that the kitchen is DISGUSTING and i don't mean dirty dishes....
i mean ants crawling all over the counters and food that he refuses to put away, raw chicken leaking all over a pile of mail, cheese in the fridge the color of coal, things i can't even lift out of the fridge because they are permanently sealed to the shelf and all kinds things from the freezer just left out on the counter to go rotten.
i guess i may have come across as being in attack mode, but i said i didn't mean it bad, just that the fridge was kind of a mess and there is clutter everywhere. it's not even that it grosses me out, although it does, but quite frankly i don't want my dad living like that and it makes me worried. i'm sad for him that he doesn't have anyone around to help him with that stuff and mad at him for not taking more pride.
this is just one of those times where i am not doing anything right at all. not even having a positive attitude. i don't even want to be here anymore. now i have to get through a stupid party tomorrow and go home.