"To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!"

[magratpudifoot]

I am at my grandparents', and they have The Tonight Show on, which has reminded me how much I love Jamie Lee Curtis (a lot), and how much I want to punch Jay Leno in his smug, slut-shaming mouth (a lot).

Ms Curtis, you look freaking amazing, and I have so much respect for you for having the confidence to rock that dress and for your visible disgust

Comments

Not a lecture, despite the tone. Jest my opinion ^_^

[magratpudifoot]

I admit that I am still a bit ambivalent about this whole cleavage issue, as I have historically erred on the side of modesty in my own life, and my gut reaction is still to wish people would tone down the partial nudity. That said, here's the distinction I have learned to draw since finally (FINALLY) coming to terms with the fact that, short of never wearing anything but over-sized t-shirts and parkas, my comically large rack will always be out there for everyone to see in one way or another*:

There is nothing wrong with liking your body, your whole body, no matter how it is shaped, and wearing clothes that you think look good and make you feel good. There is nothing wrong with wearing clothes that show off parts of your body that you enjoy showing off. There is nothing wrong with wanting other people to see those parts of your body and how they interact with your clothing. There is nothing wrong with receiving positive feedback from people who appreciate the way that you clothe yourself and present parts of your body.

There is everything wrong with other people framing the conversation about how you have chosen to present parts of your body around themselves.

If Leno had said, in a friendly tone, "You look amazing in that dress. Do you mind if we get a better shot for the viewers at home?" or even (again, in a friendly - not "friendly" - tone), "Your tits look amazing in that dress. Would you like to give us a better look at it?" I would have had no problem with the opening "compliment." He instead takes the path of lechery, well-greased by the saliva of centuries of lascivious old men, and opens with, "You look very cleavagey tonight." Translated from Contemporary Late-Night Douchenozzle, that means, "The only thing notable about your appearance is that you posses breasts, and they are not small." After she chooses to bite her tongue on whatever thought she had about him, he tells her that it is HER fault that he is a letch: "You can't come out like that and not expect men to go [stares]. Let me just get this out of the way: [leers]" Then the camera cuts to a close-up on her upper body, shown from the front and centered on her exposed collarbone - not quite a fully-dehumanized shot of just her breasts, but obviously not focusing on her uncomfortable, defensive posture or her "I seriously can't believe this is happening right now" expression. This is as literal a representation of the male gaze as can be aired on network television. Then the remainder of the opening segment is, regardless of her obvious displeasure, rife with references to her body and how pleasing it is to Leno and other men, including the particularly charming bit where she is attempting to discuss her work and he interjects, "Knowing you, [your character and her potential love interest had sex] before they even filmed the episode."

The agism and attempts to humiliate her for her sexuality are way, way beyond Not Okay, but I do strongly believe that his initial reaction to her dress was, too. It's not that he was looking, it was THE WAY he was looking.

I'm certainly not going to claim that I've never framed a conversation about someone's physical features in terms of my reaction to them; on more than one occasion on this very blog, I have blamed Joel McHale for the fact that his forearms sometimes distract me from the plot of Community...which I am just now realizing is actually a really shitty thing to say, even if I had my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. (Yay, uncomfortable realizations about my own hypocrisy!) And I'm not saying that it is evil to find someone - or even just a single physical attribute possessed by a person - attractive. Just, for goodness sake, don't treat people as though they exist to please you. She wore that dress because she liked the way it looked. If you like it too, tell her she has good taste. If you don't like it, don't bring it up. Easy as.

* I am not exaggerating at all when I say that I once made myself physically ill worrying about the fact that I was showing cleavage and I couldn't do anything about it. Our society in general and aspects of my upbringing in particular are so effed up I can't even.