(no subject)
Things aren't bad. Things are pretty good, actually. I got a job working with people with disabilities, helping them in their homes so they can still live independantly. I still hang at the family shelter at night. They let me be a third host. A couple of times people commented on how staffed or over staffed we were last night and that made me feel a little twitchy. At least tonight I am supposed to host so there is that. I am covered through Sunday. I think Monday I will start sleeping in the Walmart parking lot. I don't want to overstay my welcome at the shelter. I also have some hope in finding a place through this housing charity I went to. I qualify for their services, and since I now have a job I hope I can find a place to live on my own. I think that would be best. I did really well on my own for 2 1/2 years or so when I was living in West Seattle. I wrote a shit ton, I got my shit done, you know? I am so happy I have a job. The person who did my interview seemed to do it in a way that was felt like she wanted me in to work for them, so she was helping me fill out my sheet and such. It could be full time or part time, and I of course would like to work at least 30-40 hours a week at least. there are a fewhouses, so Tina, the woman who helped me with my sheet was reassuring me because I am not sure I am that great of a cook but I think I might take a class. She also told me that there are various levels of ability for the clients so there would be some that she could find for my ability to help, and the more training I get and the more comfortable I am at the job will help me get other kinds of clients. I want to save up to go see D get married, or at least see her right before she does. We have been friends for 5 years and I haven't yet actually met her. I also want to go to Mexico to meet my friend Pal from my RP. I also want to finally start the TEFL certification course, just so I can have it. If it looks like things in South Korea are still not good for Native English Teachers, then I may just save up to travel to SK a couple of times to feel less like I failed in that direction. I want to go to SK one way or the other. I may not get to teach but I would love to at least go there. Who knows, maybe things will pick up again in a few years, and I can teach then. Or maybe I might find another country to go teach in and maybe fall in love with it, like Taiwon or something. Or who knows, maybe I will get into one of the higher up positions in this company and learn to really enjoy working in with adults with disabilities before maybe moving to work with children with special needs like I have wanted for the last couple of years. I think if I get the higher up position, I will for sure start looking into being a foster parent again and moving into an apartment with 3 bedrooms so I can have kids of both genders, since that position is $2300 a month. What else... Oh! I got a call from the counceling place that I was supposed to call. I was so afraid to call. For some reason I always put off going to therapy. Maybe I don't want to cry infront of a near stranger you know? But I am glad they called. I am going to the orientation thing that will get me situated with which councelor I get that will match my needs and such. I know that will help, and I know it is what I need especially because of the things I have been going through these days. I am glad that I am so diligent about my meds. I don't know if it is because of the tuna I have been eating, or if the meds are kicking in a little early or just knowing people don't want me to fail, that people don't see me as a failure, but I am feeling better these days, despite my situation. I have hope at least. A couple of weeks ago I was like no these things won't happen, I won't go to SK and I won't be a parent and so on, but I am okay with putting things off just a little bit longer. It is better to be sure Ihave my shit together than to just jump in when I am not sure I am ready. I think the experiences would be a little better that way anyway. I think that is all though.
Erin
Erin