(no subject)
some of the things that surrounded 2 weeks since our break up
im back to moping
im trying to remember the reasons i shouldn't be with you
but they are hard
because i just want to be with you
the weekends are the hardest
all the other time is just weird because im not texting you
but the weekends i feel like i should be with you
it would be so easy.
i could be there now
I saw a tiktok video about how they had taken their ex partner home town out of their weather app. so i did that too
i keep thinking of things i wanted you to buy me.
i can't think of any now
i stopped eating ice cream because it reminds me of you
like half of the icecream in my freezer is for you. I thought i would eat it. that's why i didn't give it to you
i stopped thinking of your side of the closet as yours.
i used some of the hangers
my clothes still smell like you
and my clothes are still
i haven't been grocery shopping.
i keep going to the market and just buying tomatoes and strawberries
becuase im all alone
my tiktok keeps sending me those poems about being proud of the people you love where you have to swipe through a couple pictures to get to it
i used to send them to you.
i was so proud of you all the time
you were my person
that i could be so excited for
I was so proud of all your accomplisments
and just how strong you are every day
and how you admired my strength
we just reminded me so much of each other
and maybe too much
i want to send them to you
instead i just feel sad i have no one to send them to
but i also started getting the fortune-telling ones
or the astronomy ones
they all say we you didn't expect me to really go through with it
i had my first orgasm. Even though i wish you had done it.
it feels like when you were with andrea and i was all alone
it also felt like when we weren't really having sex or when i was alone through the week
it felt lonely
but good
good enough
i think about how you let me touch your pussy, how you let me put my fingers inside
so vulnerable
i still cry all the time
i want to talk to you
to be with you
just be
i'm making myself cry right now
but it's because im about to start my period so
i know you think i don't understand you.
I do understand you. i know what you're capable of.
maybe you didn't understand me
i thought you did. i thought i would be able to show you more.
but we moved so slowly
or all at once
and it didn't really feel like we were doing that together.
i just didn't think we would be so over
like we had to be
or else we would just fall back into each other
but i wish we could just fall back into each other
because i love you
but you're better at boundaries than me