(no subject)
i don't need to read something to say profound things to you
i can think of them all on my own
it's very easy when you let me see you
when you don't put up the walls to make me feel like I'm sitting outside you
i know you
who you are
what motivates you
what encourages you
what you need when you are sad
what you need when you are lonely
how to praise you
and how to convince you you are loved.
i see you
i know how to make you feel seen
and cared for
you are an amazing person
with this power and history of millions of strong black women behind you
you are strong
you are vulnerable
you are kind
you are caring
you trust when you have no reason to
when 30 years have taught you you can only trust yourself
you still ask for help
you still show your soft, beautiful humanity.
so when you tell me that you didn't ask because you thought i would say no
when you come so close only to turn around and go home
when you don't spend the night
don't let me hold you
or be held by you
don't let me touch you
or show you off
i know
i understand
but i am sad
because i need you
don't me stand in our way
let my boundaries tell you that i have just as much worth as you
and you are worth a hundred people
and i would turn down a hundred other people
just to see you for 30 seconds
even though that is not enough
even though i would still miss you
even though you are not who you want to be
or
just because there are things that drive me crazy about you
does not mean i don't love everything about you
that i want to trust you with my whole self
that i want to make every decision for the rest of our lives together
that i care about you
that i want to care for you
stop putting yourself down
when i am trying to do everything i can to lift you up
to show you that you are worthy and worth it
that just because i need to put effort into the things i do for you does not mean that i don't want to
or that just because i don't wnat to do something does not mean that i don't want to do it for you
just trust me to love you
in the same way i trust you to love me
that the amount i love you
cannot be contained inside my body
that it thirsts for you
longs for you
needs to have you inside me
before i explode.